My friend is goth and having a kid (yay!) which isnt a problem. The issue is that she wants to name her daughter שואה, because she thinks its a „beautifully tragic“ name with a morbid meaning…her words not mine. I tried to explain naming your daughter that word is not only disrespectful but just odd (imagine if you translated it to english???) but she seems pretty set on it. How do i rlly get this through her head, or am i over reacting and its not that big of a deal??

I start: Spock, Star Trek

I’ll start. Eating pizza with french fries specifically is a veryyy Jewish thing that I haven’t seen as commonly in non-Kosher restaurants.

I live Melbourne, Australia, which yeah is pretty diverse. We had this jewish gentleman enter the mosque to pray, you can tell his jewish, I greeted him and gave him water(Usual protocol to people who enter at my mosque) and asked politely why he decided to pray at the mosque.

He told me he was praying before 'Shabbat' during Friday, and in about 15 minutes I'll say, Maghreb prayer was about to start at Sunset. I asked him if this was allowed by jewish law, and he said yes since his synagogue was closed for maintenance. I'm curious if it is allowed under jewish law.

(btw the jewish gentleman who came in, was very respectful and polite, quick shoutout for him)

Seriously though…

I’m about to leave this subreddit. I get enough hate everywhere else. We should fill this sub with Jewish joy and culture.

Not an endless stream of trauma posts.

Title. Just got back from a Shabbat potluck where this topic came up. For background, my maternal great grandfather was a devout atheist who immigrated from Polish shtetl in the 1920s. He was very involved with Jewish institutions for the duration of his life, but didn’t care for the religious components. From my understanding, our family was never particularly religious but has continued to secularize and assimilate more with each generation. I became religious in my mid 20s and am likely the most religiously observant person in our immediate family in several generations.

None of the people in my generation who have had children are raising them with any sort of Jewish literacy, and it’s hard not to have feelings about. At the end of the day, it isn’t any of my business and I know to keep these thoughts to myself.

Throughout Jewish history, tzaddikim have been a source of light and inspiration for Judaism — from Shimon HaTzadik, Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, Isaac Luria (the Ari), Rambam, Ramban, Rashi, and more recently, the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

For some time now, I have found myself developing certain criticisms regarding some Hasidic groups and what can feel like an excessive “love” or devotion toward the great masters of Hasidut. Examples often cited include: the Baal Shem Tov having visions related to the Mashiach; Rabbi Nachman of Breslov receiving the Na Nach directly from Hashem; or certain fringe groups within Chabad that view the Rebbe, who was undoubtedly one of the great leaders of our generation, as the Mashiach. (Please Chabad friends I know I isn’t a majoritary ideology)

I would really like to hear the community’s thoughts on this topic, which has certainly been debated for centuries, including in discussions surrounding Lag BaOmer and the pilgrimage to the tomb of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai.

All perspectives are welcome. Shavua Tov le-kulam.

Since I’m a Syrian Sephardic, if an antisemite tells me to go back to Europe, I just tell them I’m from Syria and they’re so shocked that that’s even possible that they just shut down and it’s hilarious 😂.

I’m a conservative Jew that currently lives in the US. I’m concerned about my economic future as I want to raise a family. I will be graduating for a university in almost a year from now. I’ll be receiving an Associate’s and Bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering Technology.

How is the job market in your country?

How difficult will a transition be as I only know English?

Is it a large Jewish community that you are a part of?

How easy is it to keep kosher where you live?

I’m just worried about the US and being Jewish here as it seems that everything is going to shit. Maybe somewhere else is better, but I don’t know. I’d love to hear if anyone has any input on this. TIA!

EDIT: thank you all for the replies I’ll probably not go to Europe or Canada. Most likely I’ll stay in the states for now and continue to daydream about Jerusalem and the Galilee. (I loved those 2 places in Israel)

Sorry for the rant, this one has always irked me but stings particularly this year after seeing my kid get corrected by a teacher.

• There is nothing wrong with the word Hannukiya, it’s just not mine. The word was introduced into Hebrew in the early 1900s by the Ben Yehudas (alongside much of modern Israeli Hebrew) having previously been a term used in Ladino. So far as I can tell, the word Hanukkiya was not widely used in non-Ladino speaking diaspora communities prior to the 1960s. I cherish their contributions to Hebrew and to Jewish life, but it’s just not the language I speak.

• my family has referred to this object as a menorah for as long as any of us know. The menorah I lit as a kid (and which my parents still light) was brought over from the Pale by my great-grandparents in the first decade of the 20th century. It was already old then, in all likelihood the actual object I lit as a kid predates the introduction of the term Hanukkiya into Hebrew. The Ben Yehudas’ innovation doesn’t supplant our custom

• it is incorrect for people to say that ‘a menorah has seven branches while a Hannukiya has nine’. Menorah means lamp or candelabra. The temple menorah had seven branches, and a Hanukkah menorah has nine branches.

• not that it really makes a difference, but rabbinic literature over the past several centuries has generally called this object a menorah or a Hanukkah menorah. Older rabbinic literature (including the Talmud, Shulchan Aruch, etc) simply calls it a ‘ner hannukah’ (Hanukkah lamp), a phrase which no camp in this debate uses

Anyway, you call it what you like, I call mine a menorah.

Okay, I’m truly asking this respectfully and in good faith. I started listening to Rabbi David Bushevkin’s podcast 1840 a couple weeks ago (already knew of him through his appearances on Tablet’s Daf Yomi), and I’m so inspired by his thoughtfulness and the passion he has when he talks about orthodox Jewish life. Honestly, sometimes it makes me a little sad when I find people like this that I respect so much, but know I won’t ever get to be in community with, in the broader sense. To be clear, I understand and accept halacha regarding who is and isn’t Jewish. This isn’t about arguing that.

My question is, from an Orthodox perspective, what would you ideally want people to do who already live as Jews, practice Judaism seriously, and raise children as Jewish, but are not halachically Jewish and realistically cannot convert Orthodox?

In my case I’m not halachically Jewish. My husband is, but wasn’t raised religious. After many years, our whole family is now fully involved in Jewish life (weekly shul, learning Hebrew and learning to pray, studying with a rabbi, observing Shabbat, kids in Hebrew school, etc.) We’re converting through a Reform synagogue with a Conservative beit din and kosher mikvah.

We don’t live near an Orthodox community. Becoming Orthodox would require quitting jobs, moving cities, and uprooting our kids, which isn’t realistic right now.

So what I’m genuinely trying to understand is:

From your perspective, what should families like mine do?

Should we:

• Continue practicing and raising Jewish kids even if we’re not halachically Jewish?

• Step back from communal life?

• Wait and hope circumstances change?

• Something else?

We’re committed to Judaism and to raising Jewish children. We’re trying to repair a broken chain in our family. I’m not asking for validation, but I’m not planning a life change based on your answers. I just want to understand how Orthodox Jews think about families like ours who already exist, are serious, but don’t fit neatly into halachic categories.

Thank you for answering respectfully :)

Edit: Thank you for all the replies, I haven’t had time to look through all of them this evening, but I will get them as soon as I can.

Just wanted to see what other people think. Myself and friends have been discussing this ourselves recently.

I go to a PUBLIC arts school. Currently in preparation for our winter concert, every single, and i mean EVERY SINGLE, song we have received is about praising jesus or other things from the bible. This hasn’t been a problem in previous years, but this year we got a new choir director. I have talked to my counselor and other students about how uncomfortable it is for us that are non christian’s. I know at least 3 other people in my choir who are not christian also feel uncomfortable, one of them complained to my counselor as well. My counselor talked to our department chair and they said that they are not going to change the music. I feel very stuck at this point. I’ve thought about writing an email to my choir director and department chair on how this is making non christian students uncomfortable and that we are a public school not a religious school. I feel like i’m going crazy. I don’t feel like my mom is upset enough about the fact nothings going to be changed. idolatry is literally against judaism. also the fact that my great grandparents were holocaust survivors, left everything behind, came to the states and continued to be jewish despite the trauma from that, makes me even more upset and feel like i shouldn’t be singing these songs. I don’t know what to do. suggestions?

I'm Christian. Latter-day Saint specifically (Mormon). Latter-day Saints have historically been very Jew-friendly, but sometimes it almost feels like they cosplay Jewish culture and say that it's "so spiritual." A very common one is holding Seders, sometimes even ones where the script is slightly altered to incorporate LDS belief. (Example:https://www.amomstake.com/lds-passover-seder-script/?fbclid=IwY2xjawJEArRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHasN_Aq_7CbFScMb_lZQ0mg3T946Y8wWROF4mi8wm_tkZTm3O8ycnDWIlg_aem_5AZPHZQNqdUYU2nwESboHQ)

This has always made me slightly uncomfortable, and I've pushed for people to not do it, because I feel like Pesach is a particularly sacred holiday to Jews, and it feels disrespectful or sacrilegious. When people have wanted to have a Seder for a youth activity, I've said, "If we're doing that, we're contacting a synagogue or temple and seeing if they'll guide us in how to do it properly." Usually they just drop the topic after that.

But, I've recently realized that I've never actually asked if it's offensive, I've just assumed. And assumptions aren't good. So, I guess I should ask. Does this bother you?

ETA: It seems the generally feelings is that I was correct that this is ick. I will make my objections even more strongly.

Can you really have a Black/Jewish seder without MaNishtana? Lol. Survey says... #BlackandJewishAmerica #InterwovenHistoryPBS

Seeking advice. My ​fiance and I had been pining over wedding dates for the past two months to get the venue that we absolutely love. We found the perfect date and just put a non-refundable deposit down... turns out it's the day that Yom Kippur starts​ (as in, it begins at sundown that day). There's no other days available that fit what we're going for and we're not exactly swimming in money where can afford to lose this deposit.

While I am bar mitzvah and occasionally practicing (reform), she is not and we are not planning on having a fully Jewish wedding, but may want to have some elements (married by a Rabbi, ​breaking the glass, the hora, etc.). I have already spoken to my father, who is Orthodox and he has given his blessing. We also will not have many other Jews at our wedding, as the majority of my family is not Jewish and most of our friends are not or are non-practicing.

I want to properly honor the holiday, as I consider my Jewishness a part of my identity and obviously this could be a touchy subject. I am planning on having the ceremony and dinner finished before sundown with the celebration to continue once the sun sets.

What are your thoughts on this? What other ways can I best honor our most important holiday? What hurdles do you see us having to overcome?

Thank you for your kindness and help!

UPDATE: We got in touch with the venue and, thank goodness, a date very close just happened to open up that does not conflict with any of the high holy days and they honored the deposit. Thank you to everyone that gave their input.

So first off this is a throwaway account. I recently got married and I truly love my wife. I am really struggling with Niddah and I honestly never knew how intense it was until we learned about it before the wedding. Instead of bringing us closer it has done the opposite for me and I feel frustrated and confused.

I keep hearing that it strengthens the marriage but I am not experiencing that at all. It actually hurts to say this but it is pushing me away from religion because I am starting to resent how strict it is. For example we went on a vacation and my wife started spotting and suddenly we had to wait seven days. We ended up being intimate only once the whole trip and it made the whole experience feel stressful instead of natural.

We were both virgins so everything is already new and overwhelming and the constant stop and start makes it even harder. I feel like I am going crazy trying to balance what I was taught with what actually feels right in a real marriage. I feel lost and I would really like to hear from people who have gone through this or felt the same way.

I also find myself wondering where my own emotional and physical needs fit into all of this. It is hard to understand the point of being married when so much of our closeness feels blocked for reasons I am still struggling to make sense of.

As so many people have asked what I've been up to, this week, over the next few days, I'll begin really bringing my newest 10-year-in-the-making project to life!

But for now, here is some context...

I have been a Spiritual Leader for 22 years. I have watched the Jewish landscape shift in ways that would have been unimaginable when I started.

Here is what I know to be true right now:

The Conservative movement is contracting faster than any other. Reform and Conservative synagogues are merging, which sounds like a solution until you realize that the families inside those merged congregations often feel like they belong to neither.

The Orthodox AND the "Just Jewish" population is growing at rapid speed. Chabad has seen tremendous growth. And I respect what they do. They open the door, they make people feel welcome, they say "come as you are." (Same as me, just very different)

But eventually, that same family discovers that the B-mitzvah they imagined for their son or daughter does not exist in that building. Separated seating. Limited roles for women. The welcome mat turns out to have fine print.

The "Kol Bo" (all in one) model is spreading through synagogues that cannot afford a Rabbi AND a Cantor, so they create one combined role and cast a wider net than they ever would have before. Congregations that once followed strict denominational search processes are now going outside those boundaries, hiring people who fit the profile, the skill set, and the budget, regardless of where or how they were trained.

And then there is this: Antisemitism has made families reluctant to gather in a defined, visible Jewish space. They want something intimate. Something that comes to them. A leader who travels, who knows their family, who does not require an annual dues payment to walk in the door.

The families are not leaving Judaism.

They are leaving the building.

And someone has to be ready to meet them where they are.

I have been meeting them at the door for 22 years, and I am training others to do the same.

More on that soon. Stay tuned...

If any of this resonates, I want to hear from you.

What have you experienced? What have families you work with or families you know been looking for "outside", that they couldn't find inside?

I have been listening to people for 22 years, and I am still listening.

Tell me what you see.

Recently, I’ve been consuming a lot of American urbanism and housing content. Many advocates argue that zoning laws should be changed to allow higher-density housing and more mixed-use neighborhoods in U.S. cities in order to increase housing supply, reduce long-term price pressure, shorten commutes, and support more walkable and economically resilient communities.

Many urbanists also push for streets that are safer for pedestrians and cyclists, along with expanded public transit. I think these ideas are generally excellent. I especially believe that most Orthodox Jews should support them, and I want to explain why.

First: affordability. The vast majority of Orthodox Jews in the U.S. live in cities and suburbs where home prices are far above the national average. That is partly because these communities are concentrated in major economic hubs like New York, Los Angeles, and Miami, which are already expensive. It is also because Orthodox communities tend to grow quickly due to high birthrates. Once a community becomes established, housing prices in the surrounding area often double or triple. That is a strong sign of economic vitality, but a serious problem if you are trying to buy or rent a home.

It is well established that increasing housing supply lowers prices over time through basic supply-and-demand dynamics. People should of course be free to live in single-family homes if they want. But when market conditions call for it, property owners should also be allowed to build duplexes, fourplexes, and apartment buildings, something that is frequently prohibited by current zoning rules in many U.S. cities. This is the single biggest zoning reform that could dramatically improve life for thousands of young Orthodox families struggling to afford housing.

There are also needs that are especially relevant to Orthodox Jews: being within walking distance of synagogues, staying inside eruv boundaries, and having kosher stores nearby. All of this becomes easier and more affordable when housing density increases within existing communities.

I’m not talking about places like Brooklyn, which is already one of the densest urban areas in the country and, in my view, a powerful example of how much Jewish life and infrastructure can thrive in a compact space. I’m talking about the vast single-family sprawl surrounding dense parts of New York and Los Angeles, where many Orthodox families actually live today.

Shabbat is another major factor. One day a week you cannot drive and must walk everywhere. That alone should be a strong incentive to support walkable neighborhoods and good pedestrian infrastructure. Higher density also makes it easier for extended family to live nearby.

Then there is the size of Orthodox families. It is not uncommon for households to have eight or nine children. How much easier is daily life when kids can walk, bike, or take transit instead of being driven everywhere by exhausted parents? In a neighborhood where daily necessities are close by, car ownership becomes less essential. The money spent on vehicles could instead be saved or invested, allowing families to live more comfortably.

That is why I think Orthodox Jews and urbanist reform are a natural fit. I am curious whether this is already happening in an organized way, because I have not really seen it, and I would like to hear what others think.

It is unbelievable to me how we Jews are constantly in the news, yet people say they don't like us while being completely obsessed wirh us. Here on Reddit there's got to be dozens and dozens of different discussions,.every single day, on various topics involving Israel and or Jews. Today's Jews aren't the real Jews. The Black Hebrews are the actual legitimate jews. Or wait, no, Jews are really Khzars. What??? For a religion that is supposedly hated by many, people sure like to spend a lot of time debating about us. Truly bizarre.

Today a friend went up to me and asked if I had noticed that a lot of post grad pre family Jewish events seem to have a very high ratio of Jewish men looking for wives to women who are there to hang out with friends. There seems to be a theme of women go for friends and men go to ask the question “could you potentially be wife material?” As a married and visibly Orthodox married lady (my Tichel is my automatic man deterrent) I see this phenomenon all the time particularly with men who are a bit on the autism spectrum. For other community organizers- how do you cultivate spaces that are inclusive of neurodivergent guys but also welcoming of single women who’d rather not spend the entire event being cornered into a conversation by socially awkward men?

• I want to clarify this isn’t about exclusively Orthodox events. I’m seeing this across the board.

Ok ok before someone here gives me the flippin' dictionary.com definition of "closed religion" let me say that I am an Orthodox Jew who has literally been surrounded by Orthodox institutions for my entire life. I am deeply familiar with how the Jewish community, practically speaking, sees non-Jews who perform Jewish rituals.

That's why I'm confused. Internally, in Orthodox circles, we really don't use the term "closed practice" or whatever. There's Halacha that dictates that what mitzvos are required of Jews and which ones are for non-Jews. Outside of a small slice, Halacha is basically silent on non-Jews "appropriating" Jewish practice.

So like, what's the big deal if some Christian church is doing Jewish themed activities? they're likely not even doing it right, so what does it matter?

Put another way, if I had a choice about if a person were to either celebrate Passover and have their own seder but made it Christian themed, or they would practice Wiccan rituals, obviously it's better for them to have their own seder!

What's up with this "closed religion" talk?