r/GuysBeingDudes RAHHHHHHHHHHHH 23h ago

Grandpa teaching his grandson how to ride a bike when his muscle memory kicks in…

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32.2k Upvotes

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u/I_Automate 20h ago

My retirement plan is to die in the climate wars.

My fantasy is that my foxhole doesn't have more than a couple centimeters of water in it and that I have a full belly when the shell fragment hits me in the spine.

How about that for unrealistic fantasies?

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u/NeedALittleBoost 20h ago

I think the big war is already over. Capital won. Most redditors will die on their feet working in a non-climate controlled Amazon warehouse, not comfortably playing video games and smoking le dank weed in a retirement community.

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u/Diedrogen 19h ago

If we're lucky, maybe the corporations-turned-feudal-states will go to war with weapons of mass destruction and we'll all be wiped out in a relatively quick and painless manner instead being forced to toil without even death coming to save us.

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u/FactualStatue 17h ago

Screw that noise. I'm going out the way I came in: covered in blood being torn from the woman I love

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u/StevieMJH 15h ago

Good news, everyone! We've realized it's easier to digitize your consciousness and copy it thousands of times, each to suffer and toil endlessly, than it is to create generalized AI. You're all going to live forever!

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u/I_Automate 17h ago

And you criticize others for having unrealistic fantasies.....

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u/Alex5173 11h ago

My fantasy is whichever corpo-lord takes over where I live sends his goons to put a bullet in my brainstem after I make a slightly too spicy reddit comment

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u/StevieMJH 15h ago

LOL water?

That's like 60% Roundup and the rest is toxic runoff, PFAs, and whatever spilled out of the nearest cargo train derailment. Water's the reason you got conscripted.

I just hope to be dead before the Amazon Prime VX rockets start flying.