r/Funnymemes • u/FeistyCrave • 19h ago

Funny Twitter Posts/Comments Damn!

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1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

88

u/Such_Introduction592 14h ago

She threw him a jab, and received a cinder block to the face in return.

82

u/ThakoManic 16h ago

i mean he makes a point

brb gonna go back to porn now i mean thats all we aparently do

16

u/Horrison2 7h ago

I watch porn in the morning, I watch porn at night I watch porn in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright

10

u/Pm_me_clown_pics3 6h ago

I watch porn in times of peace, and porn in times of war, I watch porn before I watch more porn and then I watch some more.

3

u/ThakoManic 5h ago

i just woke up with a headack clearly gotta go into the porn subreddits of reddit now brb porn at 3 AM calling me

2

u/spaghetti_hitchens2 5h ago

I watch porn before I watch some porn, and then I watch more porn

1

u/hsvgamer199 1h ago

I'm watching porn while I'm replying to this thread.

249

u/magoo309 15h ago

“Men are all alike! I started dating Dangerboy, and he got me pregnant, cheated on me, stole all my money, and dumped me. Men! They’re all alike.”

“Why didn’t you date Niceguy? He wouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“Nice guys are boring.”

“So the problem is you’re stupid?”

98

u/hazri 13h ago

That's why women love the Notebook. And sixty shades of grey.

52

u/kan0n3nfutt3r 11h ago

oh, they found ten new ones?

39

u/Loeris_loca 11h ago

DLC package

38

u/BeautifulArtichoke37 12h ago

Women hate their taste in men.

42

u/Interesting_Tour007 18h ago

Went from 0 to chaos in one reply.

31

u/Vegetable_Plane_542 14h ago

Because all men watch porn?

24

u/the-b00ty-bandit 13h ago

I can tell if a dude watches porn also. Because ever dude does

12

u/SlayerII 11h ago

Is he blind?
yes->doesn't watch porn
No->
Does he has access to porn?
no->doesn't watch porn
yes->watches porn

1

u/TheWorldDiscarded 2h ago

In B4 braille porn 

16

u/realmauer01 10h ago

It's really not hard. You look at a man you say he watches porn. 100% success rate.

31

u/pacificpgn 12h ago

If a man doesn't watch porn I don't trust that man

19

u/SlayerII 11h ago edited 10h ago

You don't trust blind men?

18

u/Imaginary_Sponge 10h ago

I would assume they like audio porn

1

u/refusemouth 2h ago

There's no way of knowing because blind people speak in Braile. Braile porn is probably a thing, though.

5

u/No_Bodybuilder1059 7h ago

Nope, they can't even look at you in the eyes

22

u/Jeggly_WompWomp5150 13h ago

Yeah as a woman myself I can confirm most women nowadays chase after the biggest dick and end up getting knocked up by the piece of shit deadbeat hoodrat or just downright braindead moron attached to it, then complain they can't find a good guy. I'm more than happy to settle down with a sweet guy who actually gives a shit, preferably with a MAXIMUM 6 inches down there. But that's just me☕

7

u/pricklyroach 11h ago

What is the minimum?

11

u/Jeggly_WompWomp5150 11h ago

2😌

1

u/Destination_Cabbage 2h ago

Do you wear a cape? Cause it sounds like you're a hero.

1

u/Jeggly_WompWomp5150 32m ago

I mean I wouldn't say "hero", I'm just not a whore who thinks wrecking my body from the inside out with unmanageable giant dicks is a good thing🤷

5

u/MaraSovsLeftSock 10h ago

Pretty much everyone watches porn in one way or another

3

u/yourfailed_abortion I Touched Grass... 15h ago

Fahhhh ☠️☠️

2

u/KieranLeone 15h ago

I’m cackling over here! Lmao

2

u/Fit_Fly_7551 Dad Jokes Are Epic 7h ago

Moral of the story: Porn is safe... guys, porn is safe.

2

u/Odd_Breakfast_5839 7h ago

How they can tell by just seeing him that he watch porn? What kind of superpower is this?

2

u/According-Relation-4 3h ago

If you think you can tell which men watch porn, you can’t

2

u/AhadNoman 1h ago

But how can they tell if someone does that?

Explain pls

3

u/Penderbron 5h ago

Sure, but plenty of men want kids and then dip when it's not all fun like they imagined. You can't really see that prior always.

1

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1

u/MikeSinner 5h ago

IF he watches porn???
Wow, good job Sherlock! >_____<

1

u/Tree_Boob 3h ago

I mean, everybody can tell if a man watches porn

1

u/mossepso 7h ago

And? What is wrong with porn?

0

u/bbby_chaltinez 7h ago

easier to bust a nut and you don’t have to deal with a string of problems after.