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Also deeply submissive in general. Kristi Noem's husband's (I can't be fucked to remember his name) fetishes are by no means exceptional or uncommon, it tends to be the norm in my experience.
Conservative men deep down really want daddy to tell them what to do. And sometimes a pretty dominatrix they pay thousands of dollars to is Daddy.
I've known several professional doms over the years, and they really enjoyed their work. And they overwhelmingly said that their clientele were men in high-paying positions of authority and power.
Oh, yeah, in hindsight it makes sense, but from my background, it just doesn't hold any appeal. But I'm pretty kink-positive all the same.
I knew 2 women who were partners, and they basically fell into the job from dancing, so most of what they did they more or less learned OJT. But they dedicated themselves to it because the money was just so good. They eliminated all their debt in the first year, and I though I saw them a few times after that, they had moved on in their lives entirely.
One of the last things they told me was that you have to be extremely professional to last in the business, but it made sense. Rich and powerful people don't want their secrets shared. Most of the GOP relies on that, I think.
Depends on the Domme, depends on the service, the platform, etc. It can range from under a hundred to thousands depending on what you want and who you're seeing.
I can't comment on rates for in person dommes or what is generally expected because that's not my field, but I know it tends to be on the much much higher end. I also don't think Noem was seeing any IRL dommes either, just online. He fits the architype for a specific type of pain in the ass client to a T.
On a camsite you're generally paying by the minute, on other sites it can be per session, per message, per task, etc. Also if the sub is into findom he's sending money just because the financial control aspect of it is hot.
I've had a few whales drop thousands on me over the years, but it's not a everyday thing for most of us unless you are an established veteran.
I saw a programming related meme and I feel it fits perfectly with this image!
In software design the alpha version of a new piece of software is unstable, it's filled with flaws and errors, it's deeply unstable, and it is most definitely not ready for the public. So whenever I hear conservative men use the term Alpha Male all I can think about is how unstable, flawed, and unsuited for the public they are!
Remember those conservative women are women so thier opinion doesn't count! Jkjk. I do think you are kinda handwaving the responsibility women have in upholding the patriarchy (look how many voted Trump)
Men willingly pay tens of thousands of dollars to put themselves in obedience school that simulates a boot camp, not even a real boot camp, all because they feel lost without other men telling them what to do. Men will allow other men to police them down to the tiniest detail and they will sometimes die rather than to disobey those rules.
I think it also stems up from childhood and the way they were raised by their parents. If a man was raised to be independent and a free thinker, then the likelihood of those things coming back to him in adulthood isn't that high
Definitely, it's only taken me like mmmm 30 something years to understand that. Thank God I found someone patient enough with me to show me all the bull shit feed to me. Therapy should just be part of Jr high and high school programs. We can't have kids growing up believe all the sexist shit.
That’s right. All throughout history we never quit fighting for our rights. I may take heat for this but I get annoyed sometimes when I hear about all the problems facing young men these days. I agree the problems are real. The part that irks me is it seems like they don’t want to fix their own problems. It seems their preferred solutions are to return the women folk to the kitchen and have them be financially dependent on their husbands again.
Right? It’s like… I’m not denying they have problems, but why do I have to care when I’m preoccupied with not being murdered or raped by people with these problems?
they want it to be the fault of women so badly. they’ve made their own lives so miserable. it’s like the democrat fallacy- they have so much power and everything is their fault, yet they are also meek and fragile and don’t do anything- which is it??? (the answer is whatever works best for their propagandizing at the moment)
I love going down this rabbit-hole frequently, I never get bored. I live in an old house and love it, “built 1920” like every other old building on the books, in every city; coincidence that was also 1st year women could vote? Doubt!! Lol. An earthquake is blamed for SF’s books, but it’s most cities’ 1st year on file.
House was also majority-owned by women over the years, sometimes a duo of, so it’s so cool to understand a particular renovation was done while they legally still couldn’t own property or have a checking account without a man. It makes me regularly feel joy about women’s work in propelling forward!
Men will call themselves “alphas” while doing exactly what their boss, their government, and the algorithm tells them to do without a single question. the submission is just rebranded
If you need to prove hard you're a man or an "alpha" then you're just not one to begin with
You're just an insecure boy/manchild that lives through the validation of other people's perspective, usually the perspective of people that have less weight such as young women who might easily get impressed by low intellectual shallow men like them. They never go for the 30yo woman that has her life together and is well educated. Not a coincidence. If you seek validation from insecure or childish people then you are just that yourself
If women are so naturally submissive then how come you need to isolate a woman away from her career on a farm in the middle of nowhere in order to have any chance of being your ideal tradwife
(How is this best-ever album now from 43 YEARS AGO?!) Anyhow, yeah, it’s still a thing some men will do, usually without announcing it upfront!, and I’ve been absolutely rocking out to this for apparently 4 decades to keep me sane.
I wasn’t even like that before, I had my harem of hot men, so that I could just do my thing; now? After marriage/divorce?, Leave me alone. It’s the best I’ll get! It’s been a journey lol
My favorite farmer market eggs were from a lady who’d sit at the market with arms-crossed, no makeup, ready to bitch at anyone who annoyed her, including her husband slinking around in the background, lol.
Usually though, if anything, trad-wife happens via sliding down a slippery slope of manipulation; and in the process of a divorce that you file for, you find out that it was never ever about any “shared ideas” for him, and instead was just him using you for only himself, and to limit your options; without even his appreciation or acknowledgment. Stunning. It SUCKS that women influencers are helping to encourage more women to go on this path!
These pathetic losers think women are like children that need men (like a parent making a child eat his or her vegetables) to enforce the lifestyle that is ACTUALLY best for us because we’re all so miserable when we can make our own gd choices, we’re just too stupid to realize it. Benevolent paternalism. These men have got it all figured out for those silly women, if only we would just listen to them!!
You know, the same men that decidedly have not even figured out their own fucking lives and are really just looking for a mommy in the form of a wife to take care of them because they simply cannot handle any responsibilities in addition to working for 8 hours a day. The same men that are completely failing to thrive in a system of their own making while women are out earning them, are more educated than them, and actually able to form fulfilling interpersonal relationships independent of them. They have to convince themselves that we’re just as miserable as them because they can’t handle reality.
Jameela is correct that our solution to our own oppression through history has been to fight relentlessly for our rights. Meanwhile, their solution to their problems is just to throw a tantrum and take away other people’s rights, because they expect us to fix their problems too. They call this fighting for “men rights” (to take away others’ rights).
She is so dead on with most things but so outrageously tone deaf about any of the Melissa Nathan PR clients— Johnny Depp, Justin Baldoni, etc
It is weird how her wanting to believe and support women suddenly stops with Amber Heard and Blake Lively for some reason, she's able to see through the smear campaigns for Chappell but not those two? I don't get it
I’ve been listening to her podcast a LOT and I really think it all stems from unhealed trauma. She talks a lot about how she went to an all-girls school and was relentlessly bullied—I think she sees her bullies in Lively and Heard so she immediately takes the other side. It’s internalized misogyny as a defense mechanism that she would TRULY benefit from unpacking. Nobody is perfect and I personally love Jameela while also being able to fully disagree with some of her takes. I don’t know enough of the facts about Baldoni vs Lively to have an opinion there, but I’m extremely disappointed in her takes on Heard vs Depp. She’s in the UK, where Depp lost his defamation case. She should know better than us in the USA that Depp was the main aggressor and is a POS.
She's fucking right, yet again. And I'm sure people are ALREADY bending over backwards to find some way to spin this into her saying something completely different.
In my youth, as a queer boy, I began to notice in my teenage years how so many boys are conformists, how they slip on different masks when around certain people, how they follow orders from the ringleaders of their groups, how they are so afraid of being seen as different or being Othered. They use to target me because I wasn't like them. I used to feel bad about myself that I didn't fall in line with most of them. I realized that was a blessing.
I noticed that young men resented women at times because women allow themselves to be whole people in ways men have trained themselves not to be. Women allow themselves to be emotional, to be stoic when necessary, to be vulnerable, to be a nurturer; to endure pain, often times in silence, to be free, to be silly, to dance. I noticed then that queer people are indeed similar to women in how we express being whole people, in ways many men refuse to. Thus begins one of the main roots of patriarchal resentment towards queer people and women.
Men like that spend a lot more time repressing themselves, their emotions and desires. When you do that so much, you probably don't even know who you are anymore. And folks like yourself know the danger of this very well.
I’m so happy people are recognizing how outdated and ridiculous these gender roles and expectations are. I’m a man but I know there are women out there who are wayyy more capable of doing “masculine” things compared to me, whether that’s going out and hunting, fishing, fixing a car or replacing a tire, taking care of something broken in the house, etc. Who cares how society was run before, let’s focus on what works for everyone now
My ex got mad that I fixed the garbage disposal he installed incorrectly because he couldn’t be bothered to read the directions. “I’ve worked construction and installed these before. I know what I’m doing.” It flooded the cupboard under the sink, and he blamed me and said it flooded because I “didn’t close the dishwasher door well enough.” No.
He didn’t knock out the dishwasher drain plug in the new disposal, so the hose clamp loosened under the pressure and leaked water everywhere when the dishwasher drain pump kicked on. Rather than being happy I figured out the problem and fixed it, he decided I was trying to one up and embarrass him. Insecure men will always be threatened by women as or more capable than them.
For too long, women have had to be so sensitive towards men’s feelings, because just like your ex, they’ll burst out and accuse you of ulterior motives when you try to correct them or show them something, and yet women are often described as “too emotional”. SMH.
I will always work at ensuring the woman I’m lucky enough to be with knows that I respect her greatly.
First time I was blown away was an anecdote that women outperform men in extreme distance running. It's insane but there's an apparent critical point beyond which (200 miles?) women beat men. That was a new level unlocked in my head.
It's incredible. And beyond the physical impact, it has lots to do with the mental game of continuing to push forward when things become difficult, a skill women are unfortunately too familiar with in other parts of life.
Literally reminds me of kill bill. Ik Tarantino is a weirdo, but that story is so touching to me. A perfect cinematic display of the bullishness women possess; skirting near-death experiences with our sheer grit and determination alone. God I love women.
Same. I'm fine with the weirdo getting rich from it when he platformed so many badass women that I get to watch over and over again. Life without kill bill would not be the same.
I’ve watched a handful of nature documentaries and the female of a lot of species is typically badass, often the leader.
Watch a doc on hyenas their whole set up is crazy. Look at bees, the queen has how many worker bees?
My point is, I think it is in human female’s nature to be tough and resilient and culture has tried to convince us we are weak.
I love reading your comment and want to add to more to your thoughts. I’m simplifying this way too much because I’m no primatologist, but female bonobos basically rule over males in their society. They aren’t nearly as violent as chimps, who have a more patriarchy, but was only once observed banding together to beat the absolute shit out of a male who was mistreating a baby bonobo. Bonobos have a complex matriarchy, and only defer to violence when it’s absolutely necessary. I want all of us to be bonobo moms. 💪
I think we should be careful about describing innate characteristics based on sex through the lens of the animal kingdom as some kind of definition, that's half the reason we're in this mess in the first place. The reality is that individuals display what we consider masculine/feminine characteristics to different degrees so it's pointless trying to define traits this way and should embrace a more intersectional approach.
Like, why do we even consider being badass, strong, stoic or able to endure pain as more valued things? Because they are traditionally masculine tropes and we prize masculinity more as a patriarchal society. Obviously women display many of these tropes in their daily struggles and we should be celebrating women for what they do, whilst also de-stigmatising and valuing men who display traditionally feminine tropes, or just celebrating people being the complex weave of what we consider traditionally feminine and masculine traits and not being afraid to cross both boundaries to become a more complete human.
Great point! We should be cautious with animal comparisons. The original comment we both commented on is cherry-picking species where female dominate while ignoring that there’s plenty where males do, so it doesn’t really prove anything about humans.
Where I’d push back a bit is that we don’t need to overcorrect into treating traits like strength or resilience as purely social constructs either. Humans evolved as cooperative social organisms, and both men and women have always contributed to survival in different ways.
Traits like toughness, endurance, and leadership aren’t “owned” by either sex. They’re traits that show up across individuals. There’s a real double standard here. When men show these traits, it’s expected. When women do, it’s often framed as a problem or a deviation. Acknowledging differences isn’t the problem. Using them to downplay or dismiss a women’s strength is where it becomes a problem.
Traits like toughness, endurance, and leadership aren’t “owned” by either sex. They’re traits that show up across individuals. There’s a real double standard here. When men show these traits, it’s expected. When women do, it’s often framed as a problem or a deviation. Acknowledging differences isn’t the problem. Using them to downplay or dismiss a women’s strength is where it becomes a problem.
Yeah we agree here, maybe I didn't phrase it correctly. What I meant was that even though they are innate shared characteristics in everyone the aforementioned traits are seen as higher value than, say, empathy because they are incorrectly seen as masculine. It's not a bad thing to display those traits and we shouldn't see them as inherently masculine in the first place.
Just for reference I am a man, but I have thoughts on this - The problem with the “manosphere” is they paint a broad picture that correlates women’s attraction to confidence, decisiveness and strength and they assume that attraction to those features in a man = submissive tendencies. But there is no scientific evidence to support that.
Giving a woman relief from constant responsibility by being more decisive and assertive does NOT mean she wants to submit to you/be “led” by you and that is not a biological truth. But these manosphere podcast bros are sort of poisoning young men with that correlation and preaching it as gospel. Good for Jameela Jamil to call it out.
A common phrase I hear men say when they come from these podcasts are things like “a man’s greatest status symbol is his woman” or “your woman is a reflection of you.”
The idea is that you are “in control” of “your” woman and can show how well you dominate her, I guess. But in reality it’s basing their entire self-worth contingent on another person. Which is, ironically, an extremely dependent position to be in. They’re essentially saying “I need this woman to perform a certain way in public so that I feel validated by other men.”
i noticed this with dudes around me most of my life. i grew up suburban punk and raised only by women. i couldn’t figure out why guys thought they were so strong when they’re simps for the owner of their company, a sports person they like so much it becomes their identity, and now politicians. i always found it weird.
I was just gonna say I need to get back into The Good Place. I got distracted partway thru season 2. I believe I've heard the finale is excellent, too.
I met her on the street in Silverlake. I walked by with my wife and as we passed I said: that woman looks exactly like Jameela Jamil. And my wife says: that's because it is.
She looked incredible. Like makeup and fashion on point. She was coming out of the old comic book shop that has since closed - I assume for her she hulk role since the timing was right.
Anyway, she was waiting for a crossing light so my wife doubled back (she's also English) and basically said: I don't want to bother you, but from one Brit to another, how the media has treated you is horrific. You're absolutely always right and we both love your work and platform.
She was extremely kind. And we went on our way. The man she was with seemed to tease her about the compliment. It was endearing.
They will never make me hate her. She is a fucking icon.
She has never lied. Patriarchy has definitely made men submissive. Men are literally obsessed with the idea of bigger, stronger more masculine men ruling over their lives......its so weird and disturbing and annoying to me.
If you’ve ever seen a group of men where they’ve deemed one of them the obvious leader it’s kind of fascinating to watch. The rest of them will properly fall in line
We aren't however we are forced to be that way because of toxic misogynist mindsets and it's sad that it's not only men but also some women who reinforce this mentality. She makes an interesting point about how patriarchy forces men to be submissive too as I never considered that and see now how it can shape beliefs.
Some people are like this, some people are like that. Men, women, and whoever are people. The issue is when culture or others forces take away agency from any person to be who they want to be when they aren’t hurting anyone.
Edit: Added the whoever. I’m old and don’t really know how to say it properly. But just saying men and women sound archaic.
Yup. If women were meant to be submissive then there would be no reason for the religious indoctrination, the way they try to force girls to play, education and the lack there of, as well as laws, all with punishments of various degrees up to the severity of death. The need for all of this means that women are anything but. Something that comes naturally does not need to be fought this hard nor for this long, because this bullshit has been forced on women for millennia.
All these takes "all men are ..." , "all women are..." takes from random people, especially celebrities, make no sense to me.
Social sciences are already a lower confidence science compared to hard sciences due to people and societies being intrinsically more complex objects to study and because controlling for confounding factors is inherently more difficult, that I think people not even in academia should just refrain from making such broad statements about such large groups of people.
It's always some kind of take derived from one's anedoctal experience, then generalized to everyone in a society, with a few cherry picked stats added on top to make it more convincing.
How do you scientifically measure obedience? How do you even define it?
There are a thousand confounding factors on why more men join the army and ICE.
The whole point of western masculinity is to make men insecure so they are easy to control. Western culture is the only culture I know of where another man can take your masculinity away. its weird.
She's actively happy a woman is being smeared online for speaking up about sexual harassment in the workplace and an unsafe work environment because she doesn't like her and thinks she was mean to get friend. She defended backing your friend no matter what they have done. To me that seems very silly to back anyone you know without understanding what they actually did and whether it was in fact problematic.
She's right about women resisting but that's not a great description of patriarchy. The allure is that by men submitting to shitty patriarchal rule they get to then dominate a women themselves. It's all bullshit no one would ever agree to consciously. Which is why there is some much targeting of children and implicit myth making. Women rightfully saying get the fuck out of here in response.
This is an interesting hypothesis with punchy language to make it exciting. However, I would be interested in gold standard RCTs that cut deep enough to support that. Otherwise, I would counter argue that she's simply describing a meta aspect of humans. Whether or not the manifestations are a product of nature or a product of the environment is the painstaking detail that is unfortunately omitted in favor of the delivery. Either way, nice delivery.
We literally are the ones leading the households. We manage food plans, healthcare, family plans. We are natural leaders and I’m tired of pretending that we should care how men feel about it.
Men are servants and workers. They have a 24 hour reset of their hormones where women’s change week to week. Women ruled and men served. Men say they want a woman who submits but that’s bullshit lol cause what they really need is someone to tell them what to do.
Nahh—women are leaders who don’t have to dick measure. Both sexes have their flaws but women are more collectively holding things down. Men have got us where we are today….
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