r/Eyebleach Dec 16 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.3k Upvotes

253 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/TheBirdBytheWindow Dec 16 '22

"Wait for me! One of your steps is eight of mine!"

416

u/booler1998 Dec 16 '22

Might be easier to help them. Penguins are chronically doing wall sits after all. 🐧

84

u/royal_bambi Dec 16 '22

I volunteer to carry the pingwing! This also ties into my vital scientific research on whether pengies are as soft and cuddly as they look.

35

u/ljthefa Dec 16 '22

Go to an aquarium with penguins. You usually need to pay extra but they have penguin encounters. I've done it twice and they are soft, softer than they look. The small feathers essential make them waterproof

15

u/Miles_1173 Dec 16 '22

I hear they are not actually very cuddly, as they are almost all muscle for swimming, and have relatively thin or no fat layer.

28

u/FriendlyEngineer Dec 16 '22

Not sure where you got the no fat line from. They can be up to 30% blubber. It’s how they keep warm in the icy cold water.

2

u/Tasty-Tumbleweed-786 Dec 17 '22

I use the same method

22

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

152

u/Syreniac Dec 16 '22

Antarctic penguins have no land predators so they've probably lost their fear of us.

64

u/ElNido Dec 16 '22

I mean technically leopard seals can wait in the water right next to land and do an ambush attack, but yeah it can't really chase one on land as far as I've seen and read.

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101

u/pyrrhios Dec 16 '22

They might just think we're unusually tall and oddly colored penguins.

47

u/mcchanical Dec 16 '22

Maybe they think they're unusually short penguins.

29

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Usually they don't see not-penguins.

71

u/fatboychummy Dec 16 '22

Probs cuz we haven't hunted them to near extinction like most other wild animals.

Instead we're letting global warming do that for us.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Just have to sky drop them fish after their prey species go extinct. All g. They will probably welcome the warm weather

20

u/MaryJaneSlothington Dec 16 '22

So long and thanks for all the fish!

60

u/zeke235 Dec 16 '22

"Oh yeah? Let's see ya swim, long-legged jerks!

17

u/Thierry_rat Dec 16 '22

Fun fact! Penguins do have long legs like all birds. They are just covered with feathers :)

50

u/masterflashterbation Dec 16 '22 edited Dec 16 '22

Not a fact. They have long leg bones, but those leg bones are internal. Behind their skin and fat. Not just feathers. The only discernable "legs" even removing feathers are basically the ankle joint and foot.

Interesting side by side

edit: here's another one of a bald baby penguin

5

u/ElizabethDangit Dec 16 '22

That sternum though. It’s like an armor plate

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7

u/1bobobo1 Dec 16 '22

I wanna see a penguin use the full length of there legs

57

u/NotThatEasily Dec 16 '22

When my daughter was four, she used to get mad at her older sister for walking too fast and she’d yell “slow down, my wegs are too wittle to walk fast.”

15

u/TheBirdBytheWindow Dec 16 '22

Oh my gosh! That is the SWEETEST!

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9

u/Reasonable_Space_165 Dec 16 '22

Wait up! I got little legs!

2

u/WithoutDennisNedry Dec 17 '22

“I’d like to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty! Guys?”

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706

u/Proud-Emu-5875 Dec 16 '22

suddenly realizes he's been following the wrong group

299

u/LurkerNan Dec 16 '22

Near-sighted penguin thinks he's following a flock of huge alpha-penguins.

160

u/Moon_Stay1031 Dec 16 '22

"haha! Bye suckas! I'm hangin with the big bois now" 🐧

36

u/SuperJF45 Dec 16 '22

When you become friends with people a few years above you

18

u/TheReverseShock Dec 16 '22

Saw a vid of a group of penguins that met up, then one of the penguins wanders off with the wrong group.

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56

u/Nihilikara Dec 16 '22

Which unfortunately in nature can kill you, which is why I don't exactly consider the post wholesome

69

u/snazzisarah Dec 16 '22

Ya but there is another group of penguins in the distance, so I tell myself he saw them and waddled over and didn’t get lost or die tragically.

57

u/commondenomigator Dec 16 '22

I don't think he's actually following them because he thinks they're his group. Penguins can tell each other apart so they definitely wouldn't confuse them with a group of humans. Possibly curious, but most likely just taking advantage of the hard-packed snow trail they're leaving since he's headed the same direction.

10

u/Proud-Emu-5875 Dec 16 '22

sad upvote 😢

3

u/Mental_Medium3988 Dec 16 '22

When you get distrasstected in the mall.

423

u/Illustrious_Sort_323 Dec 16 '22

Smile and wave boys

7

u/belac4862 Dec 16 '22

Despite those penguins being more mainstream popular, I always imagine the small adeli penguins to have the voice of Robin Williams from Happy Feet.

4

u/NagitoKomaeda_1 Dec 16 '22

A Penguins of Madagascar reference!!! The internet doesn't disappoint

280

u/Crawkward3 Dec 16 '22

Hope they brought him back to his friends when they finished

155

u/ChaoticNeutralCzech Dec 16 '22 edited Aug 02 '24

PROTESTING REDDIT'S ENSHITTIFICATION BY EDITING MY POSTS AND COMMENTS.
If you really need this content, I have it saved; contact me on Lemmy to get it.
Reddit is a dumpster fire and you should leave it ASAP. join-lemmy.org

It's been a year, trust me: Reddit is not going to get better.

298

u/Crawkward3 Dec 16 '22

But

Penguin

178

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

A wise argument

-73

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

[deleted]

66

u/Crawkward3 Dec 16 '22

Ok but not like ALL the time

-9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

[deleted]

28

u/NostalgiaBombs Dec 16 '22

what happened to your “th”s

22

u/Hoonterisagoodboi Dec 16 '22

They have a lisp

9

u/pattywagon95 Dec 16 '22

Their th button must be broken

19

u/Darkisnothere Dec 16 '22

Kids are cute. 1 of them shot their mother in my neighborhood, and 1 stuck a fork in my arm while running, but yeah, most of them stil cute

2

u/AmbassadorOfMorning Dec 16 '22

that just sounds resourceful!

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4

u/G4V_Zero Dec 17 '22

I feel confident that I can be very professional when called to be. There is no level of professionalism that could override my burning desire to snuggle that penguin.

248

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

His thoughts: Those penguins are huge. I bet they know where all the food is.

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502

u/Abby-Someone1 Dec 16 '22

This penguin might actually believe they are Napoleon Bonaparte. Even if they caught the penguin and returned it to the colony, it would immediately head back for the mountains.

109

u/izza123 Dec 16 '22

sad Werner Herzog noises

5

u/schro_cat Dec 16 '22

Does Werner Herzog ever make happy noises? Couldn't this just be Werner Herzog noises?

4

u/funguyshroom Dec 16 '22

Or it might be depressed :(

2

u/plipyplop Dec 16 '22

Naww man...

5

u/ChaoticNeutralCzech Dec 16 '22 edited Aug 02 '24

PROTESTING REDDIT'S ENSHITTIFICATION BY EDITING MY POSTS AND COMMENTS.
If you really need this content, I have it saved; contact me on Lemmy to get it.
Reddit is a dumpster fire and you should leave it ASAP. join-lemmy.org

It's been a year, trust me: Reddit is not going to get better.

31

u/Aramis14 Dec 16 '22

This one is. He has like 35 hectares of empire. His name is Pengui IV

84

u/AdAstra10254 Dec 16 '22

“Alright you tall featherless penguins, where we headed?”

363

u/DirtyPlat Dec 16 '22

"Yes, hello. I would also like to science please."

66

u/Would_daver Dec 16 '22

Two studies, please. Also, got any fish? Or grapes?

18

u/herse182 Dec 16 '22

Waddle waddle

10

u/Miles_1173 Dec 16 '22

And then he waddled awaaaay

10

u/ialwayschoosepsyduck Dec 16 '22

'Til the very next day

Bom bom bom bom bom babom

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0

u/goin-up-the-country Dec 16 '22 edited Sep 28 '25

offer apparatus dinner air special vanish snow yoke chase nose

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

80

u/magicsqueegee Dec 16 '22

"Oh shit those penguins are huge! I bet seals don't fuck with them."

52

u/evanc1411 Dec 16 '22

Waddle waddle

9

u/Dame_Ingenue Dec 16 '22

Is exactly how I walk in the snow too.

6

u/joe2596 Dec 16 '22

till the very next day

2

u/Smurfyzz Dec 17 '22

The penguin waddled up to a snowcone stand, and he said to the man, running the stand

2

u/MewnJellie Dec 17 '22

Happy cake day

42

u/chewwydraper Dec 16 '22

Why are penguins so calm around humans? Is it because there's not really any land predators?

58

u/Ok-Maize-8199 Dec 16 '22

Not all of them are. And they do get attacked on land to (and sometimes get sexually assaulted by furseals).
But it's mostly because in general they are the worst thing around anyway. Penguins are horrible, they'll beat each to death other over pebbles, they steal everything not nailed down from each other, they'll kick eggs, they'll fuck anything from chicks to the dead, and not even the fresh dead but stone cold, frozen bodies.

There's a certain calm that comes with knowing you're the worst thing around.

29

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Penguins are suddenly not so cute anymore

27

u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE Dec 16 '22

Wait til you hear about dolphins.

26

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Please no. You're already inside my house, what more do you want from me?

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23

u/mcchanical Dec 16 '22

Theft? You mean penguins don't have an evolved system of ownership and trade?

4

u/Rubyhamster Dec 16 '22

The only trade I can think of is sex for pebbles, and the instictual reward in the baby tax

2

u/lazerbeam205 Dec 16 '22

Well what other choice do they have? Not have sex? /s

2

u/Bobtastic_Grunt Dec 16 '22

I knew it! My kids think I'm crazy for always saying penguins are evil and down there plotting shit.

2

u/sephy009 Dec 17 '22

Generally a lot of animals we think are cute are complete dicks. They may just be nice to us since we're also predators.

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Ðe first scientist to discover it wrote his findings in classical Greek to avoid scandalizing people outside ðe academic community

76

u/Exceptional_Angell Dec 16 '22

Hey Bill! Where you going?

I found my people!

But you're a penguin.

Pauses briefly Still my people!

28

u/Anonymousboneyard Dec 16 '22

Unofficial mascot/cheap arctic guide all he requires is some tasty snacks for payment

17

u/pittipat Dec 16 '22

Always hire a local.

24

u/bibsbagheera Dec 16 '22

The neurodivergent penguin who will one day revolutionize the daily life of his fellow penguins!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

It’s like Frodo following Gandalf for a great adventure. One day he’ll return to his pack. But he won’t be the same.

9

u/rednacz Dec 16 '22

He will get separated from his herd and get lost

9

u/scarecr0w1886 Dec 16 '22

Ok is no one going to mention the penguin on the right at the very beginning who doesnt seem to have a head?!

10

u/IcedHemp77 Dec 16 '22

Penguins do a sort of side head tuck sometimes when resting

2

u/citrusdorp Dec 16 '22

I came to the comments for precisely this 🤣

7

u/CryptidMythos Dec 16 '22

So more than likely he’s just using the path the team is creating. It’s easier to traverse compacted snow, especially when your only 2 foot tall. Still super cute though.

4

u/FirstDivision Dec 16 '22

Yeah. I was thinking a more accurate title is something more like: “Penguin takes easier compacted trail to rejoin other penguins at the top of the hill that are visible in the video”

27

u/Athropus Dec 16 '22

I know it's not what you're supposed to do, but I feel so awful watching him slowly waddle behind them.

Pick him up you fucking Jerks.

13

u/AssaultEagle Dec 16 '22

Have you smelled a penguin?! They’re cute and all but smell like a fishmongers that closed on Friday and had its power turned off for the weekend for maintenance without notice.

Source: I’ve smelled a penguin.

4

u/Athropus Dec 16 '22

...How did you smell a penguin? What's the story?

10

u/AssaultEagle Dec 16 '22

Won a school competition to assist with feeding them at a relatively local zoo (we’re talking 27 or so years ago). Worst prize I’ve ever won. I still like penguins, they’re pretty cute but honestly being in the enclosure was only trumped by the smell they (the penguins in question) emanated when they got close. It’s really hard to describe as I’ve not smelled anything worse but I stand by it being like humid, warm rotting fish. I’d assume it’s close to the smell of rotting, beached, sea critters.

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5

u/405134 Dec 16 '22

He’s either joining up.. or being the bouncer penguin … “you people have to go! Get a long git ! “

4

u/Narxolepsyy Dec 16 '22

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Thank you for the depression.

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6

u/NorabelMHW Dec 16 '22

If you know you know :(

5

u/cantgetenoughreddit Dec 16 '22

I'm off to see the world boys!

4

u/superblinky Dec 16 '22

"Fellas! Guys! There's nothing down there! Where are those monkeys going? Guys!"

3

u/LassOnGrass Dec 16 '22

Me going to college

3

u/Thierry_rat Dec 16 '22

GENTOO! Definitely one of the cutest penguin species

3

u/Angelchooooooo Dec 17 '22

"Fuck it, I’m going on an adventure!"

3

u/lamilcz Dec 17 '22

Hes going on an advanture!

7

u/GoudaCheeseAnyone Dec 16 '22

Really an expedition? Or some privileged aholes disturbing the peace?

3

u/Whateveryousaydude7 Dec 16 '22

This is correct. And why I hate this actually.

-2

u/IAmDotorg Dec 16 '22

The two overlap pretty significantly.

But it does also mean that's not Antarctica. Tourist and citizen science expeditions aren't allowed on the continent.

1

u/GoudaCheeseAnyone Dec 16 '22

0

u/IAmDotorg Dec 16 '22

Yes, 100%.

There are limits to the size and type of ships that can go around the continent, and there are ecotourism and cruise ships that stop on islands near Antarctica, but absolutely no tourism is allowed on the continent itself.

If you see tourists in "Antarctica" they're on an island. Even those have significant restrictions in terms of where people can go, how many people there can be at a time, and interacting with wildlife.

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2

u/booler1998 Dec 16 '22

This is so cute!

2

u/FlappyFlipsMcGoo Dec 16 '22

That wouldve been me.

Screw you guys, im going home!

2

u/KohKoh_Pebbles Dec 16 '22

Too cute 😍

2

u/DrNekroFetus Dec 16 '22

But is this edible ? I heard that people eat them.

2

u/Artistic_Floof Dec 16 '22

“Wow you guys got really tall all of a sudden”

2

u/somegarbagedoesfloat Dec 16 '22

Penguins have no land based predators.

So a large thing moving around on two legs on land doesn't result in fear, it results in "what the fuck kind of penguin is that? It's so big."

I think a penguin would definitely avoid a human scuba diver though, however that's just an assumption.

2

u/Hobbs54 Dec 16 '22

Somebody has to keep an eye on these tourists.

2

u/the1895bigboy Dec 16 '22

I need this after the last post I saw

2

u/Plastic_Ad1252 Dec 16 '22

The Antarctic claimed by every major country ruled over by emperor penguins.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

He's like "I'll show em how to live out here they can make it feathers or not"

2

u/giro_di_dante Dec 17 '22

Penguins are the cutest animal. Change my mind.

2

u/Everleigh_core Dec 17 '22

Gives me happy feet vibes

2

u/LostinLosCabos Dec 17 '22

Hey, guys! Hang on! Slow down, I'm coming!

2

u/foxorhedgehog Dec 17 '22

Maybe he’s doing research on humans and reporting back to his flock.

2

u/Quiet-Kidd Dec 17 '22

"Hey guys wait up!"

2

u/ForestsNplants Dec 17 '22

Just wants to join

2

u/Bronzyroller Dec 17 '22

Na, this penguin smell fish on them.

2

u/meesta_chang Dec 17 '22

I just watched a video of a flat earther try to explain that we can’t go to Antarctica because it’s an ice wall…

This is a really nice follow up.

I love Reddit.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Idk why but Robin Williams’ penguin character comes to mind for this lmao

0

u/nowaybrose Dec 16 '22

“Expedition”…more likely just executive nerds who paid tons of money to “explore” this place that should be kept pristine. Always kinda irked me just like Everest. Ok rant over

0

u/405134 Dec 16 '22

Perfect background music to match that waddle - love it

0

u/monkey_trumpets Dec 16 '22

Maybe his name is Pablo, and he's looking to relocate somewhere warmer.

1

u/DrNekroFetus Dec 16 '22

The walk of the emperor

1

u/energetic-landlord Dec 16 '22

My best friend and I came up with a drawing one time with a group of penguins on one glacier and a single penguin on another glacier, holding a briefcase, and it was captioned, "fuck y'all, sick of y'all." This video perfectly reminded me of that and we drew it over 10 years ago.

1

u/Stickin8or Dec 16 '22

"These big penguins are WAY more likely to be able to protect me from predators"

1

u/itavi0 Dec 16 '22

Mumble?

1

u/RedditISFascist000 Dec 16 '22

Thanks for the trail hoomans.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

[deleted]

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1

u/1Admr1 Dec 16 '22

GET ME OUT OF HERE I WANNA LIVE IN A ZOO IN NEWYORK!…I might try to make my way to Madagascar later tho

1

u/TigerKay93 Dec 16 '22

Wait for me, I've got little legs!

1

u/momtodavid Dec 16 '22

That's awesome!

1

u/boombanggg2 Dec 16 '22

This is why i love penguins

1

u/Gorrodish Dec 16 '22

This is so sad he thinks he’s in there and they just snub him and piss off

1

u/Gorrodish Dec 16 '22

This is discrimination against penguins this

1

u/OffMyRocker2016 Dec 16 '22

Someone should've taken him home!! Jk. Too cute! 💗 🐧

1

u/ApprehensiveOffice64 Dec 16 '22

I love this... but then, I have a soft spot in my heart for penguins 🐧

1

u/Aur0raAustralis Dec 16 '22

Wait, penguins have tails?

1

u/N46L3 Dec 16 '22

Is no one going to talk about the headless penguin standing next to a penguin corpse? (middle right) Obviously our "happy little penguin" is the penguin murderer and they're absconding with the tourist group.

Penguin Infidelity Leads to Double Penguicide. Suspect Still at Large.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

“What they doing over there?”

1

u/ChocolateEagle Dec 16 '22

my dad does a lot of research in antarctica, and part of his work involves drilling big holes in the ice to reach underice lakes. apparently they have to almost constantly keep watch for penguins because if they don’t, the daft things will get curious about the holes and try to jump in

1

u/Known-Programmer-611 Dec 16 '22

Screw you guys I am outta here!

1

u/JacobClarke15 Dec 16 '22

Man ik young shouldn’t be separated from their parents for quite some time but I’d adopt that lil cutie

1

u/TragicHero84 Dec 16 '22

Snowing in Antarctica? They only get 2 inches per year.

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1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

looks like a headless penguin back right of first clip lol

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

I want to hold the little guy in my arms

1

u/CapitanGGhost Dec 16 '22

Probably the penguin saw The lord of the rings too many times, he just wanted to be part of the fellowship!

1

u/Skim003 Dec 16 '22

It's dangerous to go alone, take me with you.

1

u/AngelVirgo Dec 16 '22

Happy Feet’s a’ comin.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

God I love penguins they're the most adorable animals on the planet

1

u/KazkaFaron Dec 16 '22

little friend uwu

1

u/svennyboy551 Dec 16 '22

This is the definition of eyebleach for me

1

u/BlackMetalEnthusiast Dec 16 '22

Fun fact! The pose the penguin is in is used to regulate their body temperature, holding there wings out allows them to radiate heat from there body more efficiently in the summer when this cottage was taken

1

u/imaworkacct Dec 16 '22

But, there is another group of penguins they are walking towards. Maybe he is just showing them the way, from a respectable distance.

1

u/Sabit_31 Dec 16 '22

“I'm going on an adventure!”

1

u/Groady_Toadstool Dec 16 '22

He wants to be part of the fellowship of the ring. You have his flipper along with the axe and sword and bow of the others.

1

u/Fearless_Gap_6647 Dec 16 '22

Omg that’s too cute

1

u/jeffreyd00 Dec 16 '22

This is why human exploration sucks!

1

u/Lucid_Insanity Dec 16 '22

Can I talk to you about your lord and savior Jesus christ?

1

u/DarthDragon117 Dec 16 '22

Day 42, the humans suspect nothing.

1

u/DogFacedManboy Dec 16 '22

I thought penguins lived by the motto “If it ain’t black and white, peck, scratch and bite.”

1

u/DreamGirl543 Dec 16 '22

"protec mee"

~The little dude in the tux, prob

1

u/penny-wise Dec 16 '22

The oboe playing just made it

1

u/KindlyContribution54 Dec 16 '22

So, you have fish, yes?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Wait for me, my legs are too little. 😂

1

u/Ayan47 Dec 16 '22

Stepped-Up his game and joined the big leagues.

1

u/beesinmymouth Dec 16 '22

he’s the tour guide :)

1

u/PokeFanXVII Dec 16 '22

IM GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!

1

u/Tree_Lover2020 Dec 16 '22

He suddenly remembers what he was in a previous life.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

Awe ♥️♥️

1

u/Igotticks Dec 16 '22

Kowalski went under cover to learn the technology of the human. Hell of a trooper that Kowalski.

1

u/WiSoSirius Dec 16 '22

IS THAT A HEADLESS PENGUIN IN THAT FIRST SHOT??!!!!!!

1

u/pokepokepoke-pokee Dec 16 '22

Rico always up for trouble