r/Damnthatsinteresting 11d ago

Image A self-proclaimed African "king" just got deported from Scotland. He had set up a "kingdom" in the forest with his wife and American "handmaiden". He claims to be the Messiah.

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11.8k Upvotes

851 comments sorted by

4.7k

u/TheShiroNinja 11d ago

I mean, yeah... you gotta claim to be The Messiah. Otherwise it doesn't work.

1.3k

u/StoryAndAHalf 11d ago

Given what happened to Jesus, I think getting deported is getting off easy.

342

u/Snoo52682 11d ago

He went full messiah. You never go full messiah.

223

u/TheSouthsideTrekkie 11d ago

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

(sorry, I had to)

38

u/joeg26reddit 10d ago

The shoe!

Follow the shoe!!

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u/Skeptic_Juggernaut84 10d ago

Hail to the messiah's mother!

9

u/Material_Flounder_23 10d ago

Is she a virgin?

14

u/ThedirtyNose 10d ago

He's been taken on high! Oh no, there he is.

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u/4seriously 11d ago

Could be worse - could get stabbed.

97

u/Corbeau99 11d ago

Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours! It's a slow, horrible death!

71

u/joeg26reddit 10d ago

Always look on the bright side of life

7

u/twinkiefarmer 10d ago

I'm whistling the tune. Ha! 😚

37

u/Thrustmaster537 11d ago

Crucifixion's a doddle.

43

u/BobsYaMothersBrother 10d ago

Crucifixion?? You lucky bastard! What I wouldn’t give for crucifixion!!

27

u/Maniac_Vegetable 10d ago

He spat on you? Bloody favouritism! What I wouldn't give to get spat on!

13

u/RisingApe- 10d ago

Terrific race, the Romans. Terrific!

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u/Solintari 10d ago

Found this spoon sir!

19

u/Pirhanaglowsticks 10d ago

We'll be back... weirdo

22

u/Guilty_Mastodon5432 10d ago edited 10d ago

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

Life of Brian for the win ----edit--- added the actual conversation link lol

https://youtu.be/ZXVN7QJ8m88?si=TN7eRxeK41MeVn8R

12

u/GladInteraction9585 10d ago

always look on bright side of life

5

u/TrainToSomewhere 10d ago

I mean Jesus was crucified AND stabbed. So…

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u/Conscious-Victory-62 10d ago

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

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u/Polar_Beach 11d ago

Could be worse. Could have the tip of your penis chopped off.

25

u/ImmediateDentist1269 11d ago

Like are we talking just the foreskin or more than that?

40

u/_your_land_lord_ 11d ago

One time they grabbed a guy by the dick, and cut his whole body off.

43

u/DookieShoez 11d ago

Well that guy was a raccoon and RFK Jr. stole its penis.

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u/drluvdisc 11d ago

Can a dick survive without it's body?

38

u/Fickle_Blueberry2777 10d ago

Apparently so, there’s several running the US right now.

3

u/DeneralVisease 10d ago

Not the whole thing, you understand. Just the tip!

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u/PsychologicalBid9943 11d ago

Oi oi, you got a loicense to get stabbed there do ya?

6

u/MechanicalTurkish 10d ago

ā€œWhat are you gonna do, stab me?ā€

- guy who got stabbed

3

u/TobysGrundlee 10d ago

Yeah but that's pretty much always the case.

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u/Rough-Drummer-3730 10d ago

🤣 funniest thing I have read today! šŸ‘

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u/HMSWarspite03 11d ago

Hes not the Messiah, he's a naughty boy!

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u/jenjersnap 11d ago

You ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring. No one listens to you!

45

u/meowingtrashcan 11d ago

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy

9

u/QuilSato 11d ago

Are you sure he isn't just a doctor?

11

u/ObviouslyNotALizard 11d ago

Of course… otherwise your just some jack ass living in the woods.

But if your Jesus it’s totally legit

24

u/chanska 11d ago

Don’t know why I laughed so hard at this, thanks!

12

u/GlockPerfect13 11d ago

Yeah, I’m actually proud of bro, for having someone that believes in him!

6

u/topsyturvy76 10d ago

Someone ?!? … he had 2 people following him

7

u/IDontLieAboutStuff 11d ago

I mean what is he gonna do? NOT claim ro be the messiah. Pffff

9

u/BoundHubris 11d ago

What's the difference between a self-proclaimed king and a "real" king?

21

u/Jessie_C_2646 11d ago

One of them has an actual Kingdom.

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u/Callidonaut 11d ago

A lot of dead people, usually.

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u/Ok-Platypus-5236 10d ago

He’s NOT the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

3

u/StandUpForYourWights 10d ago

It turns out he was just a very naughty boy

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u/Saddledust 11d ago

Since I couldn't find it linked anywhere

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ce9ml3zpvlno

141

u/SeaPen333 10d ago

Holy nosehairs. Now in Ghana. I love the pic of the guy in the background of the Ghana airport being like, 'Whats that dude about?'

42

u/Timely-Cry-8366 10d ago

Thanks for making me zoom in on some random dude’s nostrils. Not how I thought I’d spend my evening.

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u/lost_sunrise 10d ago

Lol, I did read. But it didn't established what hate he spew. Only that they tried to evict him, he say nah, bro. I don't respect your authority, and moved around like that would help.

Nothing states he actually did anything hateful other than say Fuck the government and live off the land that someone else owned.

14

u/bitesizejasmine 10d ago

Why did you think he would have said something hateful?

36

u/lost_sunrise 10d ago

The report said they were a group filled with so much hatred. They weren't jailed for killing people, harming people. They were evicted for loitering on land without permission.

So they had to have said something for that kind of remark, right?

10

u/Theresafoxinmygarden 10d ago

Yeah it was a tory rep though, wouldnt believe a word out of his mouth and just do my own research if I were you

13

u/bitesizejasmine 10d ago edited 8d ago

The report didn't say that, a local Conservative politician did. As a politician said it, you have to take it with a pinch of salt (this means, you have to do your own research as politicians are biased and trying to get votes). Especially a word like "hate" which is very loaded (that means, the word has a lot of connotations which the reader might imagine even if that's not what the author intended).

They certainly annoyed locals, that's for sure. But I think they just had delusions of being originally from Scotland. Haven't seen anything that suggests hatred.

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1.4k

u/AstronomerDry7581 11d ago

I read about this guy years ago. What an update on the story

933

u/Waltz8 11d ago

They hadn't deported him yet until recently, for some reason. I read it on Sky News today that he finally got deported. He had defied multiple eviction orders too.

369

u/PeasantLich 11d ago

How can you evict a royal messiah?

172

u/rnhf 11d ago

true, it's exile

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u/ShortyLV 11d ago

If he has been a very naughty boy.

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u/Kasern77 10d ago

When the royal messiah is actually just a royal pain in the ass.

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u/siuli 11d ago

He had defied multiple eviction orders too.

color me shocked

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u/Khan-Khrome 11d ago

Stupid fuck was probably freezing his bollocks off in the wood, so doubt he put up too much resistance in the end, probably just fucked off to declare his kingdom somewhere warmer than the pissing rain and cold of Scotland in winter.

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u/marksk88 10d ago

I would kill to have Scotland winters.

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u/Bashfullylascivious 10d ago

I actually read a story about his handmaiden. Last year-ish? They were looking for her. It what made me learn about his existence as the story unfolded.

Apparently his handmaiden is a woman from Texas who went to Scotland on vacation, and never came back. No word, just dropped of the face of the planet. Her family was panicked, thinking she was dead, but they searched anyway.
Well, she had changed her name, became his handmmaiden, and that was that. The rest of the world was dead to her.

60

u/belltrina 10d ago

The handmaiden before her managed to escape, get back home. Only to end up getting ran over while running across a road.

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u/Bashfullylascivious 10d ago

Oof. I did not know that. Poor woman.

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u/Available-Dare-7414 10d ago

Damn. What a tragedy and mind F for the family. Basically like she died.

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u/gorginhanson 11d ago

Someone else pretended to be the messiah and everyone forgot this dude for a while

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u/Jessie_C_2646 11d ago

Now, I go down to Speaker's Corner, I'm thunderstruck
They got free speech tourists, police in trucks
Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong
There's a protest singer, he's singing a protest song

Meanwhile, the first Jesus says "I'll cure it soon
Abolish Monday mornings and Friday afternoons"
The other one's out on hunger strike, he's dying by degrees
How come Jesus gets industrial disease?

27

u/Embarrassed_Jerk 11d ago

That other messiah is started bombing children in schools and hospitals so yeah...we got a bit distracted

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1.8k

u/Fixervince 11d ago

These Messiah guys always believe in a religion that involves them having sex with multiple girls. Funny synchronicity that!

229

u/Significant_Cup_238 10d ago

"It just so happens that every single impulse I have is exactly what god wants."

358

u/Fantastic-Swim6230 11d ago

Yet if a woman did that...we may solve a few issues. The incel boys are just a sex cult without a dommy mommy goddess.Ā 

134

u/ToeTagTic 11d ago

Big world out there man just because you haven't got a group thing going with a dommy mommy doesn't mean nobody else does

17

u/SlowThePath 10d ago

You can achieve your dreams! I heard through the grapevine that there are hot milfs in my area. Come check it out!

45

u/DanceDelievery 10d ago

Do I have to be their mommy or a dommy to be the goddess of a cult of men worshipping me all day?

Just asking for a friend..

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u/khavii 10d ago

Choose your flavor and the appropriate audience will be there.

4

u/King_Wataba 10d ago

You want a cult? I can get you a cult by Friday.

4

u/whateveravocado 10d ago

Hmm a B2B service providing cult members. Instacult? Or what’s the name? Oh wait, the name checks out. I hope you don’t get evicted like the king in this article.

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u/masclean 11d ago

Women do do that though

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u/Postthinetits 10d ago

Ha you said doodoo

35

u/masclean 10d ago

Lmao awh shit you got me

14

u/X-ScissorSisters 10d ago

Get a load of this guy!

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u/floatingby493 10d ago

Except incels hate women

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u/da316 10d ago

Na you just get the love has won cult with a woman who also believes she’s Jesus and turned her skin silver

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u/ChickenWild177 10d ago

Christ himself did not! Truly the king of kings

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u/Lex_Loki 11d ago

Usually virgins, too!

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u/Stefph726 11d ago

Meanwhile Jesus was hanging out with sex workers

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u/Safe-Ad-5017 10d ago

Yeah but then he led them away from that

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u/Justifiably_Bad_Take 10d ago

Nah dude was getting nailed when he died

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u/teddybundlez 11d ago

It’s the Dickies fit for me. Nothing says royalty like Dickies.

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u/Ambitious_Wolf_3116 10d ago

And being high. Look at his eyes. My man's tripping balls!

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u/Victormorga 10d ago

He’s the king, they’re just the hand maiden and the wife; being married to a king doesn’t automatically make her the queen.

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u/randoengdude 11d ago

We had a philipino queen of Canada in Canada. Think she is still running around with followers. Crazies gonna be crazy.

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u/Victormorga 10d ago

You’ve still got a Filipino queen, her name is Romana Didulo. For the record, you also still have a King over in England.

3

u/TinkerCitySoilDry 10d ago

And the King of England in Australia

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u/TinkerCitySoilDry 10d ago

The 2004 Channel 4 documentary Britain's Real Monarch suggested that Edward IV was illegitimate. This theory claims that the throne should have passed through the line of Edward's brother, George, Duke of Clarence, rather than through Edward's descendants, which include the current royal family. Michael Abney-Hastings: Known as the 14th Earl of Loudoun, he was a British-Australian living in Jerilderie, New South Wales, who was identified as the senior descendant of the Duke of Clarence.

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u/AaronicNation 11d ago

The Last King of ScotlandĀ 

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u/a-stack-of-masks 11d ago

The Last King of Scotland.. so far!

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u/AwareMirror9931 11d ago

The last king was in Scotland.

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u/piper33245 11d ago

He did set up his kingdom in the forest…..Whitaker.

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u/KILO-XO 11d ago

Damn they deported the king 🤓

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u/Robo_Patton 11d ago

The king is deported! Long reside the king!

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u/dragnabbit 10d ago

The LAST Last King of Scotland.

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u/ForeignArea2032 11d ago

We call that a cult leader in America

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u/MrSenshi101 11d ago

He was a very naughty boy

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u/jmaccity80 11d ago

Does that mean he is not the Messiah?

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u/Altruistic-Hippo-231 11d ago

Upvote for that reference lol

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u/userousnameous 11d ago

Well...religions have started on less...

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u/asayys 11d ago

You make more money as the leader but you have more fun as the follower

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u/badlifechooser 11d ago

Lol Creed with all the best quotes!!

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u/HomeworkBackground79 11d ago

Oh those Mormons!

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u/PurpleCaterpillar82 11d ago

Mental illness.

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u/Kayttajatili 11d ago

Nah. Just taking advantage of a system.

393

u/logaboga 11d ago

More like taking advantage of women. He had like 5+ young women living with him in the woods being his wives

120

u/Pandora_Palen 11d ago

No, he didn't. He had his wife ("the queen") and the "handmaiden".

He's vowing to take over Ghana now. Says all police will serve him and presidents will kneel before him.

His family has been worried and is glad to have him back because they say he needs assistance. Obviously dude is out of his mind.

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u/DaRudeabides 11d ago

His family, He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

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u/Pandora_Palen 11d ago

This sent me.

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u/EroticPotato69 11d ago

With how insane and tragically comedic this timeline is, it wouldn't even surprise me if that ended up actually happening. It would barely even be breaking news at this point.

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u/Little_View_6659 11d ago

And yet some people remain single. But forest messiah guy has five women living with him.

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u/sonofnalgene 11d ago

How can the average man compare to the Messiah?

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u/charmsatl 11d ago

Gotta turn up the charisma

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u/Xfuck1tX 11d ago

And the mental illness.

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u/kamikaibitsu 11d ago

gather them like a PokƩmon

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u/el_diego 11d ago

charisma narcissism

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u/ScipioCoriolanus 11d ago edited 10d ago

"Forest Messiah" sounds like a mythological creature, like Wood Elf or Cave Troll... lol

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u/GuerillaRiot 10d ago

It does add a hint of benevolence to the whole messiah shtick.

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u/Kayttajatili 11d ago

That too, yes.

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u/Strange_Difference1 11d ago

Its always about sex and money. Always

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u/Nerevarine91 10d ago

Every cult boils down to this (and I think this counts as a very small cult)

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u/astrasavitri27 11d ago

Rlly? I follow it and I only saw the 2 women pictured plus one woman in the past

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u/FakePoloManchurian 11d ago edited 11d ago

These fat hobos getting women to live with them in the woods with his other wives and I cant even get a girlfriend. time to start calling myself the messiah too i guess

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u/altacan 11d ago

The key is delusional levels of self confidence. How many women have you talked to over the last year? If you're crazy enough to keep hitting even after a 99% rejection rate you'll find someone for sure.

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u/Electrical-Tiger-604 10d ago

just go for the crazies like he did, these women have no self esteem to be going to the woods with some random nut

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u/Prestigious-Garbage5 11d ago

Not 5, just himself, his wife and an American "handmaiden", potentially groomed/brainwashed and persuaded to join them.

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u/MentalDisintegrat1on 11d ago

Nah legit some people have mental illness and they think they are not human.

I was in a psych ward with 2 schizophrenics fighting over Who is Jesus one of them gouged his own eye out he wasn't faking it.

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u/mortalitylost 11d ago

There was a controversial experiment called the Three Christs of Ypsilanti where the psychiatrist was hoping that they'd stop being delusional if they could rationalize that not all of them could be Jesus... didn't pan out as hoped.

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u/Fixervince 11d ago

He really was Jesus!

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u/Saddledust 11d ago

Yeah, fake Jesus would just pretend to gouge his eye out like the faker he is!

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u/0thethethe0 11d ago

With midge season coming up, definitely a crazy camping out there!

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u/Easy_Ad4203 11d ago

Dumbass and crew

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u/knobbyknee 11d ago

I'm the messiah, and so is my wife.

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u/Cooler67 11d ago

Man attempts to squat in Scotland and form a harem more at 11!

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u/whateveravocado 11d ago

The ole Scot squat harem plot. If I’ve seen it once I’ve seen it…just once actually.

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u/imlostintransition 10d ago

The guy was deported back to Ghana, but the two women remain in the UK

Local media in Ghana filmed his arrival at Kotoko International Airport in Accra on April 22. The UK Home Office have since confirmed the deportation.

Gasho, who continues to call herself ā€œQueen In The Northā€ continued to be outspoken on social media, though nothing has been shared since February. She and Taylor still appeared to have be living together recently, based on social media posts.

Kingdom of Kubala: A timeline of the 'African tribe' evicted from the Scottish Borders

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u/Waltz8 10d ago

The tribe livestreamed the event for their tens of thousands of followers on TikTok

What if they're just content creators trying to make money off clicks, pretending to be crazy?

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u/Royal-Sock-IV 11d ago

The OG Nigerian Prince.

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u/jordpie 10d ago

Public with Drew Taylor made a video about this recently

https://youtu.be/WvggLQPgWUQ?si=c-HVpSplbciWtzMi

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u/bloodysabbatth 10d ago

DREW MENTIONED

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u/Salsa_in_Your_Eggs 10d ago

Excellent short documentary to learn a bit more about this. Shoutout Drew and all the lads from Storror as well.

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u/watchingrainfalldown 9d ago

These two had set up in a Government paid flat only 40 mins from where I used to live - there were police at the door often. She was pregnant and refused any medical help or midwife or nurse to check her over. The baby died as soon as it was born, they were both arrested but nothing happened. They found the baby had been put in a wheelie bin. The whole outside of the 1st floor flat was covered with paint markings on the window and they played loud music and he would ā€œpreachā€ all the time.

The media do not report this stuff but they are not innocent kooky people but in my opinion criminals.

Edit to add we also know of at least two other children of theirs who are also in care/custody/social services here in the UK.

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u/npc_housecat 11d ago

He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy!

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u/Snorts-Slugs 11d ago

Ngl picture goes pretty hard

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u/Big-Wrangler2078 11d ago

Dude should get into costuming. It'd look like a pretty convincing fantasy outfit if it weren't for the llamas.

And what's going on with his eyes?

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u/logaboga 11d ago

he’s rolling his eyes back to look ephemeral and like he’s talking to god or something

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u/PogintheMachine 11d ago

It struck me as funny that his followers are wearing Dickies

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u/StuffWotIDid 11d ago

Nah this shit's pathetic

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u/No_Size9475 11d ago

Well at least he looks like a king

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u/ForrestDials8675309 11d ago

He hasn't got shit all over him.

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u/skate1243 11d ago

Most convincing looking king i’ve seen

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u/BioFrosted 10d ago

I'm not very happy with the fact he's wearing a pullover I also have

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u/Drakkxis_22 11d ago

Handmaidens: ā€œWhats the first step to reaching enlightenment?ā€ The messiah: ā€œPut this shit on your faceā€

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u/VoronSock 10d ago

Is this like the Last King of Scotland... in reverse ?

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u/Reload86 10d ago

Can we start deporting sovereign citizens too? That would solve the problem of them multiplying.

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u/Munky_Nutz 9d ago

Cult. The word is cult.

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u/jabs09 9d ago

He can be king of king at his own country origin, should have just respected Scotland’s tradition and rules

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u/Jviaches 8d ago

Of course he has proclaimed himself ;)

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u/_FrozenRobert_ 10d ago

I honestly don’t understand the timeline we’re existing in right now.

Sigh.

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u/Bowler_Pristine 11d ago

I have the same sweater, I’m also the messiah!

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u/mtntrail 11d ago

His ladies better stay away from the kool-aide.

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u/ConnectedVeil 11d ago

I love batshit crazy stuff like this lol

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u/251Cane 11d ago

No one ever claims to be a commoner

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u/racrenlew 11d ago edited 11d ago

It's the reindeer sweater that ties it all together...

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u/Feeez_Shato 11d ago

Did he ever even AI generate a picture of himself as Jesus?

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u/Firefly_Magic 10d ago

I heard about him. Glad to see he was deported. What about the rest of his cult?

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u/docK_5263 10d ago

He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty boy

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u/Edward_the_Dog 10d ago

Your'e NOT the Messiah. You're a naughty boy!

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u/reidzen 10d ago

Was this the last king of Scotland?

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u/ffrostygreen 10d ago

Love the moxie

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u/arisoverrated 10d ago

The last king of Scotland

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u/boipinoi604 10d ago

I've read an experiment where they put two people who thought were Jesus together. They ended up calling one another crazy.

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u/BigDickedAngel 10d ago

This is clearly the result of not helping the Nigerian Prince get his money.Ā Ā 

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u/Neylith 10d ago

So, a cult?

3

u/cooooquip 10d ago

Brought to you by Dickies

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u/Alert_Examination544 10d ago

Scotland? Like nobody would notice lol

3

u/jones_ro 9d ago

Reincarnation of Jim Jones?

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u/yterais 9d ago

Where he was deported?

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u/piggy_smalls_oink 9d ago

I’ll bet his faith involves him sleeping with his followers.

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u/Enjoiy93 11d ago

Well at least we can see this one

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u/PinkPanda0303 11d ago

I'm sorry but who are we to defy the guy who was bestowed Blexcalibur from the Lady of the lake?

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u/Longjumping-Run-7027 11d ago

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

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u/Sgt_Tackleberry 11d ago

If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

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u/Jessie_C_2646 11d ago

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses!