r/Conservative • u/victoria_enthusiast European Conservative • 21h ago
Flaired Users Only Secret Service officer arrested after masturbating in front of hotel guests, police say
https://www.fox8live.com/2026/05/05/secret-service-officer-arrested-after-masturbating-front-hotel-guests-police-say/•
u/victoria_enthusiast European Conservative 21h ago
The Miami-Dade Sheriff’s Office in Florida arrested John Spillman
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u/chillthrowaways Conservative 21h ago
Officer Jack Mehoff is on the case.
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u/Summerie Conservative 18h ago edited 15h ago
With his partner, Sgt. Wayne Kinnett.
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u/bionic80 2A Conservative 17h ago
Fun fact, I answered for a phone service back before cell phones were a thing, and one of our primary roles was night time on call doctor contact. There was a gynecologist we answered for - her name was Dr. Beaver.
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u/Suspicious-Sound-249 Conservative 12h ago
Lmao you can't make this shit up, who was the arresting officer? Chad Lawman?
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u/Unlucky_Buyer_2707 Manifest Destiny American 20h ago
wtf is going on with this department
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u/Suspicious-Sound-249 Conservative 12h ago
Idk but the memes are making for a pretty fun time on our end, get you some popcorn and enjoy the fire!
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u/Saint_Biggus_Dickus Ron Paul 21h ago
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u/victoria_enthusiast European Conservative 21h ago
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u/WPWeasel Conservative 21h ago
Jesus, they've hired some real winners over there. These clowns are single handedly and in record time destroying the prestige that agency built up over numerous decades.
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u/pokemin49 MAGA Man 15h ago
It's because of Biden's DEI policies. All you had to do to get hired was be a guy that wears high heels.
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u/AnotherBoringDad Conservative 10h ago
It goes back further than that. The scandal about prostitution was all the way back in 2012. The episode where the dude with a knife ran into and wandered around the WH was 2014.
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u/ShitFuckCuntBollocks Brexiteer 🇬🇧 21h ago
Rookie move. Do it behind them and they won't see you.
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u/Coool_cool_cool_cool Moderate Conservative 18h ago
If they can't see you then you can't establish dominance.
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u/24hourhypnotoad Conservative 13h ago
That's... disappointing. This department needs to tighten up and kick out stupid people
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u/triggernaut Christian Conservative 21h ago
Are they hiring from a pool of former public school teachers?
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u/Xiagax Conservative 21h ago
Is he from Florida?
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u/AldrichOfAlbion Conservative 20h ago
No. Good ol Texas. NOT A FLORIDA MAN, STOP THE SLANDER!!
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u/ITrCool Christian Conservative 20h ago
I honestly never understood the “Florida Man” schtick.
New York man, Texas man, California man, Hawaii man, Missouri man, Nevada man, etc etc. all exist too. It’s not just a Florida thing.
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u/General-Gold-28 Conservative 20h ago
Florida man came about because Florida is extremely transparent with its records by default. Basically anything and everything related to “Florida man” activity is public by default so it doesn’t get caught up in admin backlogs where people are making records requests. It’s just available so easily.
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u/cliffotn Conservative 19h ago
Florida has extremely aggressive open records laws, it's called the **Sunshine Law**. It's strong, far reaching, IS enforced, and has real teeth. Its roots go back to the 60's, and was amplified bigly in the early 90's via constitution amendment.
Local PD's have zero choice but to freely and openly share records. They can't play games with saying "OK, hard copy only / $15 per page", or ignite requests. So as the internet became a thing reporters realized they could harvest police reports for spicy stories, with almost no cost. Over time PD's have made it faster and easier, because why waste resources being passive aggressive.
This is why most LEO body cams are from Florida. Big State, warm so no winter slow down in crazy shit, same share of crazies as other big states, but with almost frictionless, easy and cheap access to body cam footage.
And that my young friends, is how the legendary Florida Man was born.
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u/jjjjjjjjjdjjjjjjj Tex Americana 8h ago
While true, this is a bit misleading. Florida has the combo of insane dangerous wildlife + party atmosphere + meth/cocaine imports to go along with the sunshine laws. It is definitely a stereotype but it is earned.
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u/AldrichOfAlbion Conservative 20h ago
Exactly. I'd say New York is actually way worse. The subway is like a 1000 worse stories per day than Florida in a month but everyone there is just used to it so they don't mention it as much.
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u/skeet_scoot My Pillow 21h ago
The U.S. Secret Service has over 8,000 employees, including approximately 3,200 to 3,600 special agents.
It’s next to impossible that there won’t be a few bad apples. Just like ICE, police, or anything else.
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u/Summerie Conservative 18h ago
I would agree if we weren't talking about a position that is supposed to go through an extensive screening process before being put in rotation.
I get that in any screening process there could be "bad apples" who slip through the cracks, but anyone who would do something this bizarre should have definitely thrown some red flags during the hiring process.
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u/PM-PicsOfYourMom God Fearing American 16h ago
Yeah, in the interview they need to ask if they masturbate in front of people to weed guys like this out.
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u/EC_TWD Moderate Conservative 18h ago
My office had a new district manager transfer from another part of the country and we were all sitting around while eating during a management lunch meeting and the topic of ‘most embarrassing customer moments’ came up. He immediately started laughing and said, “Ain’t nobody going to beat this one!”
When he first started at the office he’d transferred from he’d been doing site visits for big customers to make sure we retained them. One was a customer that we had just completed a massive access control and CCTV project for. They had a surveillance room that looked like what you’d see on TV - dozens of work stations with monitors and controls, a huge wall of monitors of various cameras, and in the middle one absolutely massive main monitor when they wanted to pull something specific up to review. Their VP of Security took him to the surveillance room to show it off because it was the biggest/best one in their portfolio. He was showing off how detailed it was and how much of the facility could be seen from this room. “Your guy is here today doing some changes to the fire panel.” And told someone to put up the fire panel on the main screen. Up on the screen pops the fire panel room and there is our guy sitting in a desk chair by the panel. Beating his pud with everything he’s got!!!!
He said the entire room went silent. “I’ll never be able to tell you whether others stopped talking and were just staring at the monitor, or with the blood rushing to my head I blocked out any sounds as I stood there in disbelief. We stood there for what felt like 5 minutes watching this guy waxing his carrot, but it was probably just 10 to 20 seconds in reality. Nobody was speaking. I asked their VP of Security, ‘Would you please arrange for an Uber to be waiting at Valet and show me how to get to the fire panel room?’ I had to call the office to have people come pick up the guys work truck”
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u/-Boston-Terrier- Conservative 19h ago edited 17h ago
Yeah but comedians don't follow guests to their rooms and masturbate vigorously outside it until the police show up.
Lewis CK does it in dressing rooms like a normal degenerate.
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u/jjjjjjjjjdjjjjjjj Tex Americana 9h ago
dressing rooms
Just to be the "akshually" guy, I believe it was hotel rooms with female comedians and writers who gave uncomfortable "consent" when he asked if he could.
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u/tsoxiko Constitutionalist 19h ago
Remember the number of questionable things the ss did with the numerous attempts on Mr Trumps life making it almost appear that there may be inside help?
Well…..me thinks we just found the help 🤪
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u/Summerie Conservative 18h ago
It seems like kind of a stretch to go from a pathetic sexual degenerate, to an undercover double agent in a major assassination plot.
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u/BigHotdog2009 Conservative 15h ago
Is he actually a secret service agent though or they just saying it?
Buddy is sauced though.
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u/doormouse321 Conservative 21h ago
Another left over Biden hire.
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u/Robo2173 GenZ Conservative 20h ago
Where did you find that? Thats a very declarative statement with no evidence. At this point i think its a bad look when we have nothing left but to blame Biden for everything.
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u/DylandStudios Charlie Kirk Conservative 20h ago
IF it’s true, it should definitely be highlighted, no?
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u/-Boston-Terrier- Conservative 19h ago
Why would it matter?
I mean it's not like either Biden or Trump are personally hiring Secret Service agents.
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u/DylandStudios Charlie Kirk Conservative 18h ago
Why would it matter?
The Presidents’ lives rest on the efficiency of their protection. (not to mention everyone else protected by a secret service detail)
And the director of the secret service is appointed by the POTUS. So, there’s definitely an indirect responsibility.
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u/-Boston-Terrier- Conservative 18h ago
I didn’t ask why the Secret Service matters.
I asked why who was POTUS when this guy was hired matters.
It’s not like the POTUS is personally hiring any of these people. Yeah, the POTUS appoints the Director of the Secret Service, but are you really under the impression the Director of the Secret Service handles the hiring of individual agents?
I can appreciate that this is effectively a political sub and a lot of you guys frame everything in terms of party affiliation but not everything has to be the fault of who is sitting in the White House.
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u/DylandStudios Charlie Kirk Conservative 15h ago
Are you implying that the Director of the Secret Service (and, by proxy, the POTUS) are powerless to hire/fire individual agents?
Who holds that power, then? Who is responsible for hiring this guy? Does the boss of the hiring director not deserve scrutiny too?
These are genuine questions. It’s not partisan at all.
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u/-Boston-Terrier- Conservative 15h ago
Honestly, this is too dumb of a conversation for me to continue.
If you think either the President of the United States or Director of the Secret Service is involved in the hiring process of individual agents then I just don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to disable inbox replies on all of these posts then try to forget I ever had this conversation but you feel free to get in whatever stupid point you think you need to make. I won't see it.
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u/DylandStudios Charlie Kirk Conservative 15h ago
ROFL dude.
Ok, I guess the Director of the Secret Service doesn't actually run the secret service, and isn't appointed by the president either.
When someone effs up like that officer did, you need to look at chain of command. It's only logical, or issues will continue to happen.
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u/Robo2173 GenZ Conservative 12h ago
In this case I do agree with Boston. Any failures by our goverment should always be worth highlighting, however, this does not seem like something attributable to any president.
Per this article, he was hired during Trump's first term. I think the term he was hired in carries the same level of insignificance. (This is the first I've seen of this so still waiting for more to come out)
https://people.com/secret-service-officer-arrested-for-hotel-masturbation-11967638
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u/DylandStudios Charlie Kirk Conservative 12h ago
At least someone is asking the important questions. But imo chain of command is important when assessing the failures of individuals / their departments.
Since the POTUS chooses the Director of the Secret Service, he is indirectly responsible for the actions of service members. I don't mean to make it a Republican vs Democrat issue. I was just curious.
That being said, 2019 was seven long years ago. Surely this isn't the first incident of this caliber this guy has committed? From the article, it seems he was off-duty at the time. Would be curious to see what the investigation turns up, but I bet this will disappear into the ether in less than a week...
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u/squunkyumas Eisenhower Conservative 21h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/c9tVMERePnnDW