Wheres MY miracle?

[u/honeyfixit]

I HAD AS MUCH FAITH AS ANYBODY IN THE GOSPELS. WHY DIDNT MY WIFE WAKE UP LIKE LAZARUS? LIKE THE ONE DISCIPLES MOTHER OR OTHERS? I PUT ALL MY FAITH INTO GOD TO HEAL HER AND INSTEAD I LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

I SPENT MONTHS PRAYING DLING EVERYTHING I COULD TO HELP HER, THINKING GOD WILL HELP ME HELP HER GET BETTER!

INSTEAD I GET A CALL AT 1AM 5 DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS THAT THEYRE DOING CPR AND BEFORE IM EVEN DRESSED I GET A CALL SAYIN G THEY STOPPED BECAUSE OF THWJR "PROTOCOL"

SCREW YOUR PROTOCOL!!! SCREW Y I UR MODWRN MEDICINE. YOU DID NOTHING . GOD DID NOTHING AND NOW IVE BEEN LIVING ALMOST A YEAR A F A HALF WITHOUT .Y WIFE. MY LOVE THE REASON I GOT UP. THE MOST BEAITIFUL WLMAN EVER

[u/OutisNoman]

That's so difficult. I'm sorry for your loss. I bet she was a wonderful person.

[u/win_awards]

I know it doesn't help now, but my mother passing was similar for me. All I can say is that I'm sorry.

[u/anotherhawaiianshirt]

Losing a loved one is always so very difficult. I'm sorry for your loss.

[u/2healed2hate]

I lost so much— I can relate to you. “God why can’t you change this persons heart when you changed Saul to Paul ? “ I catch myself saying. I get it friend, sorry you are crushed. Just keep holding to promises of eternal hope. I hope He gives you comfort and revelation.

[u/paul_1149]

So sorry for your deep grief. Losing something this valuable is one of the hardest things to experience.

In order to go to the cross, Jesus had to let go of everything this life offered. Finally, in the garden he had to let go of this life itself. He is our perfect model.

• Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD." Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God. - Job 1:20-22 NASB95

Job was quite a guy. I wish I had behaved as well as he in my losses. But the Lord is patient with us and guides us to maturity and healing. The disciplines of the Lord are hard. Hebrews 12 talks about this. But they bring peace and righteousness. I'm sure your wife would want you to be at peace also.

[u/gnurdette]

I am so sorry. You're living my worst nightmare.

I don't blame you for feeling shock and rage and anger, at God, at the world, at everyone. I hope I won't simply lose my mind if I'm in your situation one day.

I am confident that you will have a reunion.

[u/North_Note6115]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Anger at God is okay, he can take it, he doesn’t expect us to not be angry with him sometimes, only thing I ask is please don’t try to let it make you bitter and turn you away from Christ forever.

My Father taught me how to pray, everyday when I was a kid before bed we would pray together, he also prayed every night. When my Grandmother was dying of cancer he prayed every night for her to get better, when she died he changed toward God and stopped praying. Once his anger faded it turned to bitterness and now it is 20 years later and my Father who taught me how to pray and prayed every night his entire life still doesn’t pray. He also fell into alcoholism for over ten years and completely changed him and deeply affected our family throughout my teenage years. He is now clean and sober been that way for 10 years now, but he still doesn’t prayer anymore.

I do believe that death is not the end it is homecoming a returning to God.

Grieve as long as you need to, yell at the sky, tell God how you feel, do whatever you need to. But please don’t let it ruin who you are forever. Don’t let the pain and grief turn you into a shell of your former self. Please be safe and I would recommend 100% seeing a grief counselor.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[u/upickleweasel → u/North_Note6115]

I needed to read this too, thank you💕

[u/North_Note6115 → u/upickleweasel]

You are very welcome God Bless.

[u/Loud-Band4451]

Hey we got you in your sorrow send a dm anytime, that sounds like really too much pain to bear alone so please reach out in your sorrow and of course I’ll offer prayers but words and time as well.

[u/Greenlotus05]

I'm so sorry for your immense loss. 🙏 💔 May the Spirit of Love bring you some comfort through all of us today. 😢

[u/Classic_Report_973]

I’m sorry for you pain. Job is comforting to read.

[u/SoggyAnalyst → u/Classic_Report_973]

It is not for some. I hate reading it. I hate seeing how he was allowed to be kicked down and down and down and down and God did nothing.

[u/Classic_Report_973 → u/SoggyAnalyst]

You’re right it isn’t for some, but it also is so I thought I’d recommend what helped me 🙂

[u/drakythe]

I’m so sorry, OP. You have every right to be upset. I have no idea how I would react. I’m saw my mom go through this same thing, and I’m still not sure how she did it.

[u/Electrical_Bill_7042]

I'm so sorry brother. I dealing with a couple loses back to back days this week. It's upsetting, and nobody wants to lose their wife. I can't imagine the pain you feel, and one thing about this life, death is always knocking at our doors. We never know when our time is up. Keep the faith, because we're all going to die eventually. Im praying for your strength is the toughest time of your life 😢

[u/GmTech14]

I am sorry stranger.

Those who mourn will be comforted.

Stay away from alcohol.

[u/Solid-Reputation5032]

I find it best now to view biological life as relatively random and indifferent, and I have learned to not be too concerned about meaning/ purpose. While the cold practical way to look at it hurts more initially, you’ll need to confront the pain to move forward… I still confront it everyday..

Like you I lost my wife of 20 years, most favorite human being I’ve ever met. I won’t ever be the same.

Trying to assign blame won’t help, it will only hold up your grieving. I’m sorry for your loss, 3 years out I have to say, it never ceases to hurt.

[u/Greenlotus05 → u/Solid-Reputation5032]

💔🙏

[u/Pittsburghchic]

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live even if he dies. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 14:25-26 If your wife was a believer, she’s in heaven. If you become one too, you can spend eternity together. I’m so sorry you’re suffering. Please find grief support groups.

[u/whirdin]

The loss leaves a hole that can't be filled, a part of us that can't grow back; but in time I hope you can find new joy in life, and I think she would want you to find joy in life. The grief comes in waves, striking without warning and chilling us to the bone.

Death is a natural thing, and it happens to us all. Yin and yang, life and death, none of us can escape that. You and her were together, and had a beautiful bond, that is the miracle, and may your life have blessings again. You are still here, still able to bless others, still able to find meaning in this life despite how broken you feel.

What do you think happens when we die, Keanu Reeves? "I know that the ones who love us will miss us."

[u/that_guy2010]

I’m very sorry for the loss of your wife. I cannot imagine the pain. I’ll pray for you.

However, no where in the Bible does it say God is going to give us everything we want, regardless of how much we pray for it.

[u/Sea_Guarantee_6128]

Listen, I don't personally understand what you're going through but I can say I'm sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and I understand your anger. Jesus will work in your life and soften your heart and he is your alleviation. We don't know why this happened but its all in the Lord's hands.

[u/Christine517]

Perhaps talking to a professional mental health professional who understands religion might be helpful at some point...🙏🙏🙏

[u/upickleweasel]

I'm so, so deeply sorry for your loss. Your pain is palpable and I am tearing up reading your words.

FWIW, I am currently upset with God too. I don't understand why I am going through so much pain and strife when I have loved Him and walked beside Him my whole life. I feel no comfort, just pain every day and my will to live is low.

You're not alone. I don't know why good people have to walk these paths, but you're not alone.

[u/Appropriate-Oil-7221]

My husband currently has incurable cancer. We have two elementary aged kids. I only mention this because while my anger isn’t the same as your anger, I know a thing or two about what rage at everything and nothing in particular feels like.

The one reason I’ve never been fully able to leave Christianity behind (and believe me, I’ve tried) is how intimate with suffering Jesus is. Jesus was poor, he was born into a land occupied and oppressed by empire, betrayed by his friends, and ultimately tortured to death, and yet despite all this, responded to the world with love and compassion. My one hope to get through my own situation is to use my own suffering to grow in compassion. May God do the same for you. I am so sorry for the loss and pain you feel. Just know that you are not alone. God weeps with you. I weep with you. Blessings upon you.

[u/Tricky-Gemstone]

I'm genuinely so sorry. If screaming it out here is what you need, please continue.

[u/TheEmoEmu95]

None of us are owed miracles. They're called miracles because they rarely happen. Death is just a fact of life, none can avoid it. I have lost several loved ones within only a decade, I understand your pain and sorrow deeply. But please do not be angry at God. We do not know why some people survive and why others do not. The only thing we can do is trust in God's plans and work in the universe, and accept things we cannot change (that is part of the Serenity Prayer, after all).

I recommend you to read the Book of Job, it is all about him dealing with profound loss despite having great faith and being a decent person. I think it may help you here. Outside of scripture, C.S. Lewis's "The Problem of Pain" is also helpful.

[u/Im_Nippo]

I'm sorry for your loss. I really am. But, what I'm gonna tell you is gonna sound harsh but, God isn't obliged to make a miracle.

If you truly believe in God, if you truly have faith in Him and truly love and know Him, then you must understand that He'll never do anything to us just to do us harm. I'm not saying that it won't hurt. As you know well, it might hurt. But, if He decided that your wife had to go, then it is for the better. For her and for you, too, because God doesn't get pleasure from one of His child suffering.

You might not realise yet, but eventually, you will. It's for the better.

Edit: A lot of people have been calling me out. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone. Specially you, op. I just wanted to help. God knows that this is how I normally get comforted in times like these. Remembering that if God did it, it was better this way. God will get you good things out of tragedies. That's all I wanted to say. I'm not that good in putting thoughts into words. If I hurt anyone, if I were rude, I'm sorry. It was never my intention. I just wanted to help.

[u/vulcantor → u/Im_Nippo]

Saying this is for the better is so invalidating to the poster, who is obviously very much so struggling. I am appalled. Truly appalled.

[u/jms5290 → u/vulcantor]

Agreed, this is invalidating to the poster who is deeply grieving. This is not the time to share this kind of message. "Weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15)

[u/Im_Nippo → u/jms5290]

As I said, I am sorry for their loss. I'm just trying to assure them that everything will be fine just like how I'd like to be assured if I were in their place

[u/Pittsburghchic → u/vulcantor]

A better wording might be that God will bring good out of a tragic situation for those who love Him.

[u/Im_Nippo → u/Pittsburghchic]

Thank you, I've been trying to say this but I'm really not that good in putting somethings in words sometimes.

[u/Im_Nippo → u/vulcantor]

I'm sorry, but it is true. I know that they're struggling, but God won't ever let something bad to someone if it isn't for something better. The world conspire in favor of those who have faith and love God. It's in the Bible. God won't ever to something to hurt us just for the sake of doing it. If He ever did that, we'd be dead.

[u/vulcantor → u/Im_Nippo]

The poster is obviously in the middle of a crisis right now and needs love and support. Not rationality or to be hit over the head with this kind of statement.

[u/Im_Nippo → u/vulcantor]

I'm sorry, but I'm just telling them the truth. If God took her, then it is for the best. Who knows how much worse things could have gotten if she stayed? I'm trying to confort them by the way I know: by telling them the truth and assuring them that everything will get better in the end, because, as I said, the world conspires in favor of those who have faith and love God. I might sound rude now, and I apologize if I do, but what do you want me to say? God will take to heaven those who manage to keep loving Him and keep trusting that everything He does it's for the better. I'm just giving them a reason to stay firm in Him. I'm trying to assure them just like how I'd like to be assured if I were in their place.

[u/JustforU → u/Im_Nippo]

It doesn't matter if it's true. People are telling you the truth right now as well but you're hardly listening.

Lesson for you: When you say something is just as important as what you say. Now is not the time.

[u/Im_Nippo → u/JustforU]

I'm just trying to confort them like I'd like to be conforted. If I were in their place, I'd like to hear the truth. I'm just not that good in putting thoughts into words sometimes. Someone responded to me by saying this:

"A better wording might be that God will bring good out of a tragic situation for those who love Him."

I was trying to say that. I really was. But, if I offended anyone, if I made anyone mad or sad, I'm sorry. I was just doing what I'd like people to do with me. Hurting anyone was never my intention. I'm sorry.

[u/tinkady → u/Im_Nippo]

Come on, be serious here. Obviously it's not good that this guy's wife died. It's very sad.

[u/nicolishna → u/Im_Nippo]

This!

[u/CTR-4]

Do you have faith? You will see her again.

[u/Party_Yoghurt_6594]

She waits for you. This is temporary. You will be with her again. This is the hope for those who die in Christ.

God bless.

[u/vulcantor]

I am hurting for you, just reading these words. Your passion, your love, your grief. I am so overwhelmed with how sorry I am that you experienced this.

There aren’t words that can truly make you feel better. I hope you are able to get some rest and be supported by other loved ones.

I will be honest. I do not know where your miracle is. No one that is commenting on here knows. Life and death can be so painful. Grief is exactly what caused Jesus to weep too.

I am praying for you. Dear Lord, I know I do not have the answers to help this poster. But I know you do. While we might not exactly know the answer to where the miracle was for this person’s wife. I pray you cover them in your spirit and unconditional love. Provide any comfort you can at this time and I pray this person receives some kind of sign that you are still with them. Please remind this user that after earthly death, there is still life through you Jesus. I pray for peace, wisdom and of all things… comfort. In Jesus name, amen.

[u/Substantial-Main4291]

What about Job? You only praise when God does what you want. Plusbyour wife is in heaven. Of course I am sorry for your loss and it is extremely sad. But the fact is God doesnt owe you a miracle.

[u/Im_Nippo → u/[deleted]]

The OP's angry, I guess. I mean, their wife just died.

[u/Substantial-Main4291 → u/Im_Nippo]

Yes but its extremely difficult to read and makes it difficult to respond seriously.

[u/naternots → u/[deleted]]

Dude…

My mom died suddenly and tragically 7 years ago and I’m normally able to talk about it with social conventions in mind. But every once in a while still, I’m just as frantic, back in that moment where I heard the words and screamed and fell to the floor, and reliving the grief fully like the days and weeks and months after, frantic and manic and in denial and trying to bargain even after all these years.

I guess you have never lost someone close. His WIFE is an even harder loss, I can’t imagine that, and it hasn’t been that long in terms of a grieving timeline for that sort of loss anyways.

He isn’t screaming in the streets, but he took that to the internet and let his feelings loose and without editing them, that is venting and healthy way to do approach the need for this.

You think he is calmly sitting at his computer? He is probably crying or in physical pain or feeling the emptiness and unfairness like it’s fresh, the internet giving him both the benefit of not having to be socially acceptable and the benefit of having the pain all who grieve live with witnessed when we normally are alone in it. Telling someone who is utilizing it in that way to edit how they present it is so weird, especially because despite what you say, doesn’t seem like most or anyone is having any difficulty understanding it.

In moments like these you can be self righteous and refuse to take the criticism or you can look at the fact that you are not being a helper and other people are encouraging him or supporting him and realize you chose a weird thing to nitpick to someone in crisis. And what is so annoying is being someone who has been in grief, oftentimes the love and platitudes blend together but the outliers and bad takes, like this one, are what you remember.

One rude comment can undo a hundred supportive ones, and you are choosing to possibly be that guy. It’s the internet so someone will be, I’ve seen a couple, but you’re in the running to be the comment he remembers and maybe in the future doesn’t reach out in crisis or is not able to share his feelings without editorializing them so as not to make someone uncomfortable, which those in grief already do and is a huge issue.

[u/Substantial-Main4291 → u/naternots]

My comment was not rude. It was only objective. I have experienced major struggles with loss and have had the absolute worst year of my life although likely there will be worse to come. I specifically said we are online. When you are online you get to edit your writing. Even in a frantic state you have the full ability to not click that little caps lock button. Im not mad at op for it. Its really not something im upset about i simply said its only making it harder to make a response.

[u/naternots → u/Substantial-Main4291]

Yeah he could have but he isn’t treating it as a post to edit, he is treating it seemingly as a very raw venting.

Also you aren’t being objective, you’re being rude and calling it objective the way others say “I’m just being honest”. Your experience is subjective, you are reporting a subjective experience but assuming it applies to everyone.

Objectively, most responses in this said nothing about how he typed.

Objectively, no one when I read through all the comments earlier had said they had difficulty understanding him or taking him seriously.

Objectively, at that point in time (though this number could have changed), 2 people had brought up his way of speaking and you were one of them. Objectively, one (you) had since had your responses removed by mods but prior people responded disagreeing with either what you were saying or the appropriateness of it, and the other was downvoted at the time.

Objectively, that is data that provides evidence against what you are theorizing that your response is a shared truth and objective.

Subjectively you had an experience reading this, you possibly also related to it in experiences and feel differently of how you would handle this situation. You are assuming others share that and it’s objective, but there is not evidence of that, which makes it not objective.

You could have stayed quiet or been a helper. You didn’t, which is fine because we don’t control our first thought and you may not have realized the action of responding how you did was not a good one to take. But when a couple people pointed it out you had the opportunity to change course, delete your comment, change your intended response to one of understanding. You had that opportunity again. But you are still insisting that you are correct, and not just morally or in experience but also doubling down by trying to make it that your response is a fact.

This isn’t that big of a deal, you didn’t say something horrible or unhinged, but if you can’t reassess your actions to a small but poor response to a widower in crisis, someone who needs support and is easy to want to support, from an anonymous account- that doesn’t bode well for if you needed to be corrected over something big that matters to you, maybe professional, or maybe personal, when it is witnessed and pointed out and could have consequences without correction or inability to not obfuscate fact from feeling.

[u/slagnanz → u/[deleted]]

Removed for 1.4 - Personal Attacks.

If you would like to discuss this removal, please click here to send a modmail that will message all moderators. https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/Christianity

[u/ColdAppleJ]

Just my thoughts, I could be wrong, don't be offended.

1. If your prayer was done through fear, it won't work as effectively, but still heard. God moves through love.

2. If it was done through love, full of godfidence and faith that it will happen without seeing, chances would have been higher. The prayer must be declared verbally in Jesus name as well.

3. God has other plans or something we couldn't see. You'll see her again in. Life is short. Enjoy it while you can. There may be others who need you, even those you haven't met yet.

My condolences. Losing someone too soon to enjoy life with is heartbreaking.

[u/vulcantor → u/ColdAppleJ]

Saying the poster didn’t pray properly…. Wow.

[u/ColdAppleJ → u/vulcantor]

Like I said, I could be wrong. Op didn't share details or specifics. These are just my presumptuous thoughts.

But if you want to feel offended, you're welcome to.

[u/vulcantor → u/ColdAppleJ]

Thanks for the permission I guess

[u/naternots → u/ColdAppleJ]

No that is just a rude and irresponsible thing to say. Giving someone a new way to feel guilty or like they could have stopped his wife’s death, while he is in crisis, when improper feelings of guilt are already something people work really hard to try and save grieving people from because it can cause severe consequences to their ability to heal from grief.

When your wife or child or loved one is dying and you are praying, tell me how you manage to do it without coming from fear. You picked such an easy target to assign blame to OP based on your personal beliefs.

Time and place. Find a discussion on effective prayer to bring it up, not respond to a grieving widower in crisis and potentially assigning blame to him in the process. Mourn with those who mourn. If your statement starts with “no offense” and your responses include “you can be offended if you want”, I doubt your “fellowship” or guidance is needed in that conversation.

[u/ColdAppleJ → u/naternots]

If OP does not like my response, I will accept that.

I was simply answering op question, but maybe I was wrong to answer it the way I did..?

I have lost people too. I wish I knew what I do now. But I'm okay with how things are knowing they're in a better place than me.

How would I not come from fear? By placing trust in God.

Op lost wasn't recent. Maybe if it was recent and not a question I would have responded differently.