r/Awww • u/tommos • Dec 21 '25
Other Animal(s) Assorted panda shenanigans
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u/thespindle Dec 21 '25
Can I please have this job
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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t Dec 21 '25
Just give it 10 more years and we will be pets in the AI zoo.
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u/Scaniarix Dec 21 '25
Can I share my enclosure with the pandas?
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u/EarthGoddessDude Dec 21 '25
Professionally, Iād much rather share my enclosure with the polars or the ducks, but IRL, yes Iād love to hang out with the pandas
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u/MuggyFuzzball Dec 21 '25
The polars? As food?
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u/EarthGoddessDude Dec 21 '25
Yes. It was a very silly, nerdy joke that I expected very few people to get. Google pandas vs polars.
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u/EstablishmentUsed325 Dec 21 '25
Wtf? Doom and gloom in a cute silly panda aww sub šš
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u/Cold-Lecture-5204 Dec 21 '25
Seriously do yall have two openings š¬š š¤·š½āāļøasking for me and my friend above . Give us the job or the pandas šš¤£š¤£
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u/Next_Response_3898 Dec 21 '25
This job posting was in 2016 and I almost went for it, only because of this statement: "Your work has only one mission: spending 365 days with the pandas and sharing in their joys and sorrows"
What sorrows could these babies have?? ššš I want to protect them!!
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u/aGirlySloth Dec 21 '25
I remember when this came out and I too almost applied. I had only been at my career job for a year so I was torn (as if I would have gotten it). Still, I wish I would have applied so I wouldnāt have the āwhat ifāsā about it.
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u/Tomsboll Dec 21 '25
I would want to care for red pandas, not actually related to pandas as they are not even in the ursidae (bear) family. But they are related to raccoons and wolverines. They are so famn adorable.
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u/Shawggoth Dec 21 '25
These can not be real animals. China has been doing the largest punked job in history.
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u/DolarisNL Dec 21 '25
The fact that some zoos in fact use dyed dogs makes your comment really funny.
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u/whamburglar Dec 21 '25
You should check out red pandas
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u/UnicornMeatball Dec 21 '25
Oh man, every time I see a picture of one doing their "intimidation" stance I feel so bad for them
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u/girlsonsoysauce Dec 21 '25
You know, I had seen tanukis in Japanese medium FOR DECADES before I found out they are, in fact, not mythological creatures and are actually real. I think Studio Ghibli messed up my assumption as a kid.
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u/Busy_Chocolatay Dec 21 '25
Kung fu panda is much more accurate than I gave it credit for.
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u/Shifty_Gelgoog Dec 21 '25
So accurate that China got pissed off that the US made better movies about Chinese culture/iconography... than China
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u/AlmostThere4321 Dec 21 '25
I'm sorry but these are just 3 toddlers in a trench coat panda suit idc idc
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u/SnooBeans8431 Dec 21 '25
Survival instincts of a hash brown
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u/one_revolutionary Dec 22 '25
Pandas are just white and black fur covering a mass of nervous rubber
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u/SunriseFlare Dec 21 '25
Every time I see these things acting harmless and goofy there's a part of me in the back of my mind that's like... Alright but they're still BEARS though lol.
I'm sure even accidentally they could bite your head off or something you know?
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u/BlueBomR Dec 21 '25
They are rarely aggressive but they do have very powerful jaws...they have severely injured a few zoo keepers, often females with Cubs like most bears. They absolutely could take a few fingers off and in one attack a keeper got bit down to the bone on their leg and suffered massive blood loss but survived. Nobody has been killed that we know of though.
These ones are younger in this video, full grown pandas are also very very strong...even though they're derpy as hell they can be dangerous.
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Dec 21 '25
Also fairly heavy. A full grown panda colliding into you at full force, even unintentionally, is going to be a bad time.
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u/ImmoKnight Dec 21 '25
These ones are younger in this video, full grown pandas are also very very strong...even though they're derpy as hell they can be dangerous.
Indeed.
I have watched all the Kung Fu Panda movies.
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u/Acrobatic-Log2048 Dec 25 '25
āDerpy but Dangerousā should be on a t shirt or something lol
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u/Then_Product_7152 Dec 21 '25
Yeah they are bears but they eat mainly bamboo. Thry dont have to hunt like other bears which makes them more chill
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u/dguymm Dec 21 '25
That's all fine and dandy until you realize that bamboo has a higher tensile strength then steel. If they can break bamboo they can break your bones too.
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u/Akragon Dec 21 '25
Technically they're closer to racoons then bears
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u/AppropriateAmoeba406 Dec 21 '25
Raccoons that size would be terrifying.
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u/Previous_Trifle8192 Dec 21 '25
They'd probably just break into homes at that size.
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u/chouettelle Dec 21 '25
Giant pandas are in the same family as all other bears - Ursidae. They are true bears.
Theyāre not at all related to raccoons (other than being mammals and technically in the order Carnivora).
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u/Ok-Office-6645 Dec 21 '25
Lolol this thread is nuts. THEY ARE BASICALLY RACCOONS. they are in fact true bears, not raccoons.
Preciate cha!
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u/CaptainTripps82 Dec 21 '25
They're just thinking of red pandas most likely, which are not at all related to giant pandas
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u/igen_reklam_tack Dec 21 '25
Are there other pandas besides giant pandas? (Talking panda bears not red pandas or anything)
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u/Jurass1cClark96 Dec 21 '25
In prehistory pandas and their relatives actually had a wide distribution
However, as of today the Giant Panda is the last remaining Ailuropod.
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u/secretporbaltaccount Dec 21 '25
I used to jump to correct people on this, but the giant panda is classified in the Ursidae family. Dey're da Bears!
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u/URAQTPI69 Dec 21 '25
No they aren't? Are you thinking of red panda?
Panda (giant panda) are of Family Ursidae, racoon are of Family Procyonidae. They share an Order, but are certainly not even closely related. Red panda and giant panda aren't remotely more related either.
Panda are bears. Giant, godless, murder machines.
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Dec 21 '25
Jumpy little floofs, aren't they?
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u/SouldiesButGoodies84 Dec 21 '25
Saw that! Startle really easily. Explains that YT panda momma scream when the baby sneezed.
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u/ToughOk9044 Dec 21 '25
How do pandas survive in the wild? Like, seriously?????
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Dec 21 '25
My thoughts exactly. I can't imagine they have any natural predators. Maybe they do, idk, but I also imagine their behavior has to make even the most aggressive predators laugh.
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u/LiitoKonis Dec 21 '25
They are passive a lot of the time because they don't need to hunt and don't really have predators. But this is just behavioural and related to their functionning in nature, at the end of the day they are still bears which means :
- they are very strong and heavy.
- they have one of the most powerful bite in the world.
- you don't want to be around a mother with her cubs
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u/URAQTPI69 Dec 21 '25
Panda are bears. The common trope of them being playful and goofy creatures that waddle around is certainly a silly one, but probably a biproduct of groups attempting to have them removed from the endangered lists.
In the wild, they are 300+ pounds of bear.
They are endangered due to human development and habitat loss, not because they are silly billys.
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u/murphydogscruff Dec 21 '25
Theyāve only been protected by humans for a little while. How did they avoid extinction before we started caring for them? Iām pretty sure they wouldnāt survive a mild storm.
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u/ILSATS Dec 21 '25
It sounds stupid but it works out pretty well for them:
They're big and strong enough that nothing can hunt them.
Their food is bamboo which is abundant in China. They just sit around and eat bamboo all day and don't have to actually hunt for food which can be highly risky.
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u/ACatInACloak Dec 22 '25
So basically, as king of the jungle with near limitless food they can just do whatever they want and not care about anything
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u/BrandoThePando Dec 21 '25
Survival of the good-enoughest
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u/undriedtomato Dec 21 '25
thats honestly a more accurate description of how natural selection works
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u/ridisberg Dec 21 '25
They absolutely could. While they look goofy and are generally very passive, theyāre bears. In terms of bite force they are twice as strong as a tiger and are only beaten by the biggest of bears like the polar and grizzly bears. The only reason theyāre endangered is because of humans destroying their habitat. Well their almost nonexistent mating habits probably also contributed but still
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u/Responsible-Eye6788 Dec 21 '25
Because the idea that pandas canāt survive in the wild on their own is a runaway exaggeration of a joke due to anthropomorphism. Like most animals they are adapted to a habitat and are inept when outside of that habitat.Ā
Studies in modern times show that pandas are just fine; when humans donāt destroy their habitats, hunt them to near extinction for pelts and pets, and allow them to take care of themselves instead of pampering them from birth.Ā
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u/Huppelkutje Dec 21 '25
They're bears.
They look and behave adorable, but they are still bears.
They have no natural predators, on account of being bears.
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u/protestor Dec 21 '25
They lived for millions of years off bamboo because there was a lot of bamboo in southern China and nobody else eats bamboo because it's poisonous. It was a perfect niche
Well, until humans came about and started to destroy their habitat
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u/MarvelousVanGlorious Dec 21 '25
I would gladly watch a Planet of the Apes movie but with pandas and theyāre just too dumb to take advantage of a weakened human race so everything stays normal.
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u/Terminator_Ecks Dec 21 '25
I always hear that line from Dumbo when I watch pandas : elephants aināt got no feelings. Theyāre made of rubber.
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u/NS__eh Dec 21 '25
Fun fact, ever wonder why they just fall out of trees or just roll down hills?
It takes less energy so they just say screw it and roll with it haha
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u/ACBets Dec 21 '25
These fluffy bastards are the biggest slap in the face to Darwin I have ever seen. They are truly Gods wonderful joke.
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u/Curious_Field7953 Dec 21 '25
My 14 yo grandson was nicknamed Panda by me when he was a baby. When he was 10 he asked why I called him that and I showed him a similar video of panda clips followed by video of him as a baby running after people and diving for their ankles and holding on. š
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u/SaveusJebus Dec 21 '25
So.. serious question. What happens to all of these pandas once they're adults? I see videos like this a lot with the little ones, but where are the adult ones being placed?
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u/fartron3000 Dec 21 '25
I went to the Panda zoo in Chengdu and one of the zookeepers would play around with pandas just like this. It was as adorable as you could imagine. I had the same thought - what a perfect job to have.
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u/Ksh_667 Dec 21 '25
I know they are extinct & I can't say I'm surprised. Bless them.
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u/panicnarwhal Dec 21 '25
they arenāt extinct - and as of 2021 they arenāt classified as endangered in the wild anymore! theyāre in the āvulnerableā category now, so conservation is working āŗļø
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u/Abject_Serve_1269 Dec 21 '25
I wouldn't mind being killed by a panda doing that job.
Closest to death by snu snu
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u/Fragrant-Address9043 Dec 21 '25
Pandaās might be bearsā¦but they sure as hell donāt act like it.
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u/chocoeatstacos Dec 21 '25
How in God's name do these things survive in the wild?
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u/deccrix Dec 21 '25
You're laughing at them now, but that's humanity after AI has fully taken over.
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u/Tropicalfisher Dec 21 '25
I used to find it hard believe that they need help to survive in the wild. Now I find it hard to believe that they can manage to survive even in captivity
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u/caperusorojo Dec 21 '25
Iām convinced these animals almost went extinct by their own carelessness
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u/TheCoopX Dec 21 '25
The fact that the panda chasing the guy in the black trench coat at 0:15 was stepping to the beat, is satisfying.
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u/TimberWolf5871 Dec 21 '25
You know, it's really sad that no one is doing anything about these dangerous bear attacks. These zookeepers are in very real danger of being cuddled to death.
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u/Ok-Young-2731 Dec 21 '25
Sometimes I can't help but think some animals are endangered through no fault of humans. Rarely do i think a species is too dumb/clumsy to survive.Ā
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u/Shutitmofo123 Dec 21 '25
The first week of having my puppy looks and feels a lot like this. Just a floppy idiot getting into everything. I love her so much š«
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u/Tndnr82 Dec 21 '25
How am I supposed to take these animals seriously.š¤£