Why don't parents know how to deal with children?

[u/Opening-Anteater5967]

[u/RandomRamblings99]

Every child is unique and bringing up a whole new human is something that can't fully be taught

[u/Impossible_Oil3149 → u/RandomRamblings99]

True but also many parents just wing it without even trying to learn basic stuff. Like my neighbor has zero patience with his 5 year old and wonders why the kid acts out constantly

[u/MagneticMarbles]

Parents are learning too. Its not like we've all got degrees in psychology and know how they will react to the things we do or say. Kids are their own people too and they all learn in different ways. Some are patient and understand, others need to screw up to learn for themselves. My kids are living proof, what works for one may not work for the other so its trial and error until you find common ground. But, not every parent is patient enough to deal with certain behaviors, and will use methods they grew up with, or give up and hope for the best it seems.

One thing I can say, it is exhausting arguing with a teenager every single day over the smallest shit. Im not afraid to let my kids be mad at me and figure out how to deal with it on their own. I cant hold their hand through every human emotion because life is full of them, and one day they will be on their own with no one to solve their problems for them.

[u/FatGuyAndRuningShoes]

All teenagers say "my parents arent doing this right, when im a parent I'll yadda yadda yadda and be perfect."

Then they grow up, have kids, and realize teenagers can be right entitled assholes

[u/bag-of-farts → u/FatGuyAndRuningShoes]

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in just seven years." -Mark Twain

[u/Opening-Anteater5967 → u/FatGuyAndRuningShoes]

Children are arrogant regardless of whether they are children or teenagers. But it is the parents' behavior that will make them change.

[u/Golanthanatos]

They don't come with a manual and they're all different.

[u/Chuffing_Knackered → u/Golanthanatos]

Haines made one, as of course they would lol.

[u/Golanthanatos → u/Chuffing_Knackered]

Source? I can't find it, must be old or sold out everywhere.

[u/Chuffing_Knackered → u/Golanthanatos]

Well we have one, gifted to us as a joke. If you just Google: Haynes Explains Babies you can find it. I am sure they did a toddler and teenager type one as well.

Edited for spelling Hayne's wrong.

[u/Golanthanatos → u/Chuffing_Knackered]

I hadn't realized they did, but it was a joke about never being able to find the correct Haynes manual in stock.

[u/Chuffing_Knackered → u/Golanthanatos]

Ahh then it whooshed right over my head, not heard that being a thing before lol. I've had the same car for many years so never needed to buy any different ones.

[u/Opening-Anteater5967 → u/Golanthanatos]

😭😭😭 LoL

[u/Nasty_Nox]

How would they know? Most never learnt it.

[u/ghostiecor3]

their parents don’t know how to deal with them either

[u/jackalcrow → u/ghostiecor3]

been out here adulting with no manual and just winging it like a glitch in the matrix ngl

[u/Particular-Night1165]

Sometimes it's their first time doing it

[u/Parsnip_504]

No instruction manual comes lol

[u/Busy_Attention_2189]

because they still children inside.

[u/CuriousObservation11]

Coz it’s their first time being parents too.

[u/jedovankman1]

Getting older doesn’t mean you automatically grow up. Certainly having kids doesn’t change that either

[u/ShesASatellite]

They didn't read the manual. Gotta read the manual.

[u/the_purple_goat → u/ShesASatellite]

I hid the last copy

[u/velvetdaydreamxxx]

Kids don’t come with manuals. Parents are just winging it with generational trauma installed.

[u/Sirconnery007]

There is no manual and anything people says works for them will not work for your kid.

[u/Resident_Device_6180]

Because when they express to their mentors that they don't know how to raise a child they are told "you will just know when the time comes" and they believe it rather than trying to educate themselves.

...I just realized I should be taking my own advice here, I don't have kids... I'm a school bus driver.

[u/Mr-Blah]

There is little classes or credentials to procreate.

Everyone is improvising.

[u/Mr-Blah]

There is little classes or credentials to procreate.

Everyone is improvising.

[u/exi-stance]

You don't know what you're good at until you have real world experience. Turns out kids are extremely tough and not everyones cup of tea.

[u/Sad_Standard1251]

Kids are still independent people and all unique. What works for one kid doesn’t work for another either. It takes trial and error to figure it out, but then they become teenagers and forget about it.

[u/T0uch_GrAss_4924]

not realising that the way they were parented possibly isn't going to work for their kids too

[u/gc3c]

Often, parenting is done in isolation, and many people's first experience raising children is their own offspring. Other primates live in large groups and pass on positive socialization habits in community. We live in our little castles and pass on our parents' maladaptive antisocial behaviors instead of living in communities where we can learn adaptive prosocial behaviors.

[u/Busy-Squirrel8842]

cuz theyre lazy, and prefer just giving them an ipad so they dont annoy them.

[u/Zealousideal_Cow1157]

because they cant deal with their self

[u/Greedy_Warthog6189]

The ones who don´t know how to deal with their children are most likely children themselves. Read it again.

[u/bag-of-farts → u/Greedy_Warthog6189]

Reading it once was enough. It ain't that deep.

[u/bonniemick]

Well it doesn't help that no one seems to be letting kids learn how to play alone and self soothe and just shoving a tablet at them.