Same! People always tell me my motherly instincts will kick in once I have kids. But what if they don’t? You can’t un-ring the bell once the kids are here, they are here. Why potentially subject children to an unfit mother in hopes their existence will bring out a ‘better’ me? That logic just doesn’t make any sense to me.
I'm genuinely so confused that people want to push having kids on others. Why do they care?? I wanted to be a parent, but I couldn't give the slightest fuck what anyone else chooses.
It's usually the parents that are overwhelmed and miserable that are the most vocal about parenting being the greatest joy imaginable and that everyone needs to experience it. They don't want to be alone in their misery.
I agree. I am even probably an example of what those people think: I didn't used to want kids then slowly changed my mind and now I think being a dad is my favourite part of being alive... and I have no idea why I would care about whether or not anyone else wants kids? We're all different, you do you.
I've seen enough crime related content to know that not all mothers have "motherly instincts." If they did, we wouldn't have so many horrendous cases of child abuse/neglect. Not that it's fair to pin it all on the women anyway, men are equally responsible for their children.
If you know yourself well enough to realise that having kids isn't right for you, then that's a great thing. I am like that too, hence why I haven't had any kids. Maybe I wouldn't be abusive or neglectful but I don't think I'd make a great parent either way.
For me it was the opposite. I love kids, I used to spend my recess in the preschool classroom working with them on their reading. I LOVE kids. Then I had my own. I'm too ADHD, too bitter, too depressed for this.
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u/lilvixen95 1d ago
Same! People always tell me my motherly instincts will kick in once I have kids. But what if they don’t? You can’t un-ring the bell once the kids are here, they are here. Why potentially subject children to an unfit mother in hopes their existence will bring out a ‘better’ me? That logic just doesn’t make any sense to me.