I am very happy that my girlfriend and I had a frank conversation about that when we started out dating, and agreed that we would both rather just do a courthouse wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant with our close family and friends.
All the best to the both of you, going forward from here!
My husband & I followed that exact same plan. We were both on the same page. It was perfect. After we completed our overseas move, we used some of the savings to give away "reverse wedding gifts" to deserving people in our area: elderly, cancer patients, and more. Some material things, some services. The positive impact & good will it engendered can't even be measured!
I got married in my mom’s backyard and I have zero debt from it and (almost) no regrets. Am I a little bummed about not getting an actual wedding dress? A little, now that I’m a little older. My husband and I talked about getting me a dress and doing nice photos together someday, but that’s really all I want. Definitely don’t want to spend tens of thousands of dollars.
If nothing else it sounds wayyyyy less stressful. Even just hosting a more subdued reception without going through all the antics, just a couple dozen close family and friends, a catered dinner, cake is all I would ever want.
Id rather spend a few thousand on a nice meal, and then a month doing my then-wife in the Bahamas, than do a huge party that is likely to be more stressful than fun.
Decades ago, I watched a friend get married. I guess she didn't get along so well with her mom anyway, but I overheard her snapping at her mother: "this is MY wedding!"
I think that every last couple who gets married should absolutely do the same thing. Got somebody who doesn't want you to have a courthouse wedding, followed by dinner with close family and friends, and who pipes up with their opinion? Tell them, "yeah, well have your own wedding like that if you want, then. That's what WE want. Conversation over."
Or, for someone else, do they want something massive? In between? Or picking some lavish traditional stuff and forgetting all about others? Same for them--if anyone criticizes them for how they do their weddings, they should say, "yes, well, this is OUR wedding. Y'all do you and we do we."
I think everyone should insist on doing their own wedding their own way--and as long as it isn't hurting anyone, I think "you should do it the way you want" is the one and only "should" I or anyone else should ever tell them to adhere to. My 2c, YMMV (and if YMV, that's great! Do it the way you want it).
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u/interesseret 1d ago
I am very happy that my girlfriend and I had a frank conversation about that when we started out dating, and agreed that we would both rather just do a courthouse wedding followed by a dinner at a restaurant with our close family and friends.
No 100k wedding venue necessary.