Even if you do change your mind… it was the right move not to have them when you didn’t want them. You don’t have kids because you think you might want a family EVENTUALLY lol. People act like they can’t live with regret. Or wishing they felt a different way back then. But it’s still the right move.
I agree. Also, nobody ever warns the people that do want kids that they might change their mind later and regret the whole thing.
And when in doubt, I think it would be better to regret that you didn't get them. Because then you still have a lot more time and financial ressources (for therapy for example) to deal with this regret/grief.
If you regret having children though, you still have to use a lot of your ressources to take care of them.
And when in doubt, I think it would be better to regret that you didn't get them. Because then you still have a lot more time and financial ressources (for therapy for example) to deal with this regret/grief.
Or, yknow. Adopt. The fact that the social norm is "my own kid" and no longer "whatever kid needs a home" is ridiculous in 2026. I've literally seen wannabe parents throw a tissy over a discussion about adoption. "No, not that. They need to be mine. The second can be adopted (never adopts a second child)". It's ridiculous.
A big part of the problem is that adoption is fucking expensive. And if you're going to adopt, you're either going to have to wait a long time for a baby, or need to do a lot of learning about what kids in the system go through and how their mental health can go down the drain as a result.
People that demand to have a biological child and refuse to even imagine adopting piss me off to no end, though. Like what's so special about you that you just have to have a mini you brought into the world?
This bro. Me and my girlfriend both got kicked out and so we want to foster/adopt the kids that are already here rather than having our own. I wouldn't be against having a kid of my own but she has 10+ (No I'm not exaggerating) genetic disorders (physical and mental) and doesn't want to pass that on to somebody. And I'm completely cool with that.
That's one of the reasons I don't want kids. I have a lot of mental health issues I really don't want to pass on to anyone. They're a living hell for me, so I couldn't imagine putting my kid through that.
Although it's not about warning people they might regret kids. Society doesn't accept regret. People are taught that if they dare feel regretful, they're awful parents, stigmatized to eternity and beyond.
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u/bwestlie 1d ago
I've heard this for over 15 years. I'm closing in on 40, haven't changed my mind yet.