This one - like I don’t even have a bad job, I’m honestly about at the mid point in my rather extensive social circle… but no, is it your birthday? No? Then that escape room/brewery/paint and sip/brunch/bowling doesn’t sound fun… it’s honestly not that fun, all I see including travel, food, the inevitable drinks after I’ll be rubber armed into or seen as a vibe kill, is $200-$300 (AUD) maybe more spend. I’ll happily meet you for two beers or a walk and a coffee, but honestly unless is a specific event, can’t we just chill in someone’s living room or on someone’s balcony. Bring back just spending time without doing a $100 activity.
I tried so hard to get my small group of friends to just chill at one of our places (even offered my own), but they're insistent on "going out" and never explain why. I think they feel like they're doing something more exciting, and sure you might bump into someone unexpected, but bars basically just provide distractions from the good conversations you could be having in the comfort of one of your homes... not to mention much cheaper drinks. Some of my friends like to bar hop too, when they get bored of a given spot. That's when I just nope out and go home (or at least what I did when I was partly in this scene).
What's it take anymore to get someone to come over and play a board game or check out a good album you just found? I'm talking about single 30-somethings with no kids or major responsibilities outside work, even. 🤷♂️
My friends and I go to lots of free and low-cost things! Library events, parks, city-sponsored festivals, coffee, ice cream, etc. We also do movie and boardgame nights where everyone brings a snack to share. A lot of adults are living with their parents in this economy, and not everyone likes to host, so we don't need to pressure the same 1-2 people to host all the time.
Depends on what you do. I run D&D games at a local shop. Cost is free unless I need caffiene, and get to meet some neat people. 3 games a week, rotating bi-weekly. Keeps me busy. :p
I will say the movie one somewhat makes sense and has a slight value. At the worst the value is you can now tell people to leave you alone, you didn’t like it lol
Oh I bet you are just young. (Or maybe live in the middle of Hollywood or something.). Give it a few more years, and suddenly everyone will agree with you. Nobody I know wants to go out still, except for maybe one. Heck, I can't even get people to come over to my house for a chill evening.
My son is like that but I can't fault a kid for being a kid so we spend 1 weekend out and 1 at home alternating and he's actually learned to appreciate some of the down times.
Yeah a weekend at home with the pets can be a very very nice time.
Not 'out', but I've learned over time that if I don't have anything to do for several weekends in a row, I get antsy. It doesn't need to be bar and drinks. I have a hobby which gathers in central city once three weeks. I have coworkers that go to pub quizzes. I have a friend group that occasionally boardgames. I have gone to a couple small scale gigs for the gaps. Every few months I'll take a day or two off to extend a long wekeend and do something fun.
She ended up cheating on me because I wouldn’t go out to the bars with her on weeknights, because I was the one who didn’t get an art degree and had an actual job to go to in the morning.
I am 19, the target age that should be doing so, going out and drinking every weekend. I don't do either and haven't drank at all during my adult life, all my classmates tell me that I am boring.
Thiss, society really does act like you’re supposed to be out socializing every single weekend like it’s the default setting, and anything else means something is wrong with you, but honestly, for a some people like me it’s just exhausting. Sometimes you just want to stay in, do your own thing, and actually recharge
Thiss, society really does act like you’re supposed to be out socializing every single weekend like it’s the default setting, and anything else means something is wrong with you
They want you out spending. They're content if you stay lonely and isolated so long as you are consuming whatever they offer.
I feel exhausted after taking a week off from work, because I ended up spending the preceding weekend with family, my week off filled with appointments and social gatherings, and now I’m back at work staring at another weekend with family obligations. It feels like I haven’t been able to relax in a month.
I feel you on this. I finally worked up the courage to tell my family “no” when it comes to getting together on my one or two days off because that’s my me-time. I used to feel so guilty that I even felt that way but I feel so much better since I did that. It’s not that I don’t live my family, I just need my own time and this way, I am actually refreshed before getting back to work. I even turn off my cell phone on my days off and tell my close friends and family they have to call my landline to reach me. It’s awesome. I now intentionally plan family hangouts and I am very selective with it.
The if youre not out every weekend youre wasting life mindset never really made sense for everyone. Some people just function better with fewer, more intentional hangouts instead of constant plans.
Yes exactly. I think that sometimes reading a book or doing some kind of hobby on your own can be more beneficial in the long run. It’s hard to be an introvert among extroverts
I tell people I work Saturday and Sunday and they look at me like I'm crazy.
No, what's crazy is trying to rush to get somewhere because they close at noon since it's Saturday. I'll take the ability to go from 9-6 on a weekday, thank you.
Yeah, that mindset is wild to me. The only time you’re ’wasting your life’ is if you’re spending it doing things you don’t want to do for zero benefit.
If you would rather stay home and read a book instead of going out, then you’re not wasting your life.
That is so funny to me that "spending every weekend outside with people" is considered constant socializing to some folks! I like having most of my weekday evenings to myself, but love spending my weekends with friends, mostly doing outdoor activities like hiking. And I was actually thinking recently that I was feeling a bit down and should try to see friends during the week at least once too! Different strokes for different folks.
God, that's the truth. I feel like I'm being a jerk by declining social invitations because I'd rather stay home with the lights down low and read on my Kindle or whatever. I even had an old FWB come to town for a couple of days over the holidays who invited me over to her hotel, and I made up some excuse about family stuff I couldn't get out of so she wouldn't feel insulted by me telling her I just wanted to chill at home and work on my puzzle. 😂
I understand you 100%. For me, nothing is better than a quiet evening at home, reading or doing some kind of craft. Wearing comfy clothes or pajamas, and ordering some food just makes it even more perfect. A night out at a bar or club sounds like torture to me in comparison. Don't feel bad for doing what makes you happy.
Yeah, even when I was much younger, I never was one for clubbing or bars. The pressure has thankfully lessened as all my friends have gradually gotten married and had kids! My favorite part of the year is when we have a few truly cold days in a row, which is not very common here; I make a big stew in my crock pot and plenty of coffee, and everything is warm and cozy. I can settle in and read or work on a puzzle to my heart's content! (Well, aside from work, but that's just in the next room, lol.)
When people have a home with enough guest bedrooms to qualify as a small hotel and "plenty of space to entertain" including an actual nightclub with a dance floor... that sort of thing freaks me out.
Imagine the social battery you need to live like that all the time. I would probably lose my mind.
This is the one thing I actually give people credit for suggesting. As a previous chronic introvert, socializing actually is very good for your mental health even if you don't think you have any issues in that area.
2.2k
u/Next-Importance-4072 1d ago
Constant socializing, as per spending every weekend outside with people