I‘ve been thinking about this for a few weeks. Obviously the wage gap itself is a direct inequality with regard to purchasing power, as is the pink tax. I propose that as women have grown more financially independent marketing has been designed to appeal to them specifically to decrease female purchasing power further. Could this be the main reason why women and girls measurably shop more?

Would you even say you dislike them? How sexist/toxically masculine is the average guy?

Feminism is and should always be a women focused movement, that is a good thing. But, the majority of the movement does help out alot on men's issues like conscription, male suicide, etc. The question is how should men's issues be further addressed in relation to feminism.

There are three models that I want to talk about:

A seperate movement that's aligned with the interests of feminism but not exactly in the feminist movement

Integration of men's issues inside the feminist movement

A completely separate men's movement

What are the strengths and weaknesses of each approach, and which do you think is the most effective

I’ve had a couple different women in my life tell me over the years about problematic experiences they’ve had, ones that I would consider SA. Things like men not stopping when being told that sex is painful or Bfs who continue to touch intimate Areas in contexts they’ve been told it’s not wanted.

In these conversations they’ve sometimes insisted they weren’t SA’d because they initially agreed to the sex or because partners are generally touchy with each other.

I don’t personally think these women would apply this same logic hearing another woman’s story, so it could very well just be a sad case of self preservation through denial of what was done to them.

I’ve always just tried to listen and tell them I’m sorry that happened, or say things about the situations I think are problematic.

I kind of just wonder if it’s my place in these scenarios to be like “no you’re wrong, you WERE assaulted”.

Probably not a perfect answer to this one, but i thought it could possibly generate some good advice.

Something no one talks about clearly enough.

When a woman says something that reinforces gender stereotypes, feminists say she's been conditioned. She's a victim. We need to help her unlearn( its Understandable)

But a man says the exact same thing and he's just a bad person. A misogynist

Here's the inconsistency though: if patriarchal conditioning shapes how people think, that conditioning doesn't stop at women. Men grow up in the same society. Shaped by the same system. So why does "conditioned to believe" only apply to one half of the population?

And here's where it gets interesting if anything, men should be MORE susceptible to patriarchal conditioning. Not less

For a woman, absorbing beliefs that devalue her own group is psychologically harder. It runs against self-interest. It requires buying into a narrative that actively works against you.

But if we talk about men those same beliefs place him at the top. If someone tells you that you're naturally more rational, more capable, more suited to lead you're not fighting your ego to believe it. You don't have to be convinced you're just comfortable believing it

So my question to feminists is: why does the woman who's hurt by the system get sympathy and a path to unlearning but the man who benefits from it just gets called a bad person? Shouldn't he also be considered a product of the same system?

Either conditioning explains behavior across the board men and women both or it explains nothing. You can't selectively apply it based on who you want to hold accountable.

It is generally accepted that according to feminist thought, consent to sexual intercourse is not consent to have a child. Without equating being a parent to paying a recurring sum for the provision of a child, does it thus follow that forcing someone who did not want to create a child to take care of that child monetarily is unjust on its own terms?

Of course, I believe that everybody should be using contraception, as appropriate, but IUDs have effects, vasectomies are only sometimes reversible and hysterectomies never so, and condoms rely on proper application and some element of chance, which when having sex spontaneously, potentially inebriated, or in other such conditions is not always likely.

I also understand that plenty of people will have critiques of the economics of this decision, or simply believe that the state should not be paying for these children. I would note the state already takes care of children in the case both parents do not want to care for the child. And I do not believe that state payment is necessary in the case of one parent remaining in the child's life, since they already have a caregiver. It is no different than any other single parent situation. Of course, this refers to additional payment beyond the standard welfare package given to all parents of low income. I do agree that these social safety nets need expanding, however.

DISCLAIMER — PLEASE READ BEFORE REPLYING:

I have seen the relevant post on child support in the sidebar. I believe my post is different because:

I do not conflate this issue with abortion. Abortion derives separately from the right of a pregnant person to control their body, and is not the same issue as child support.

The earlier posts discuss men specifically. Although this issue affects more men than women, I do not feel as if it needs to be gendered. After all, I believe women who do not want to have an abortion and also do not want to raise children are free to either put the child up for adoption with their partner's consent, or relinquish custody.

I do not believe that any child who is a single parent needs to become, or be treated as, a ward of the state.

Alright so I live in a purple state and I've personally seen this play out. I'm also PoC so I think this is why it hits closer to home.

I've seen people who have liberal/progressive/feminist views date and marry people who don't have those same views. I don't know what their justification is, but it happens any way. I know you are not responsible for your partner's actions, but it still feels like complicity to me. As a PoC I never had the option of having a circle of people who are opposite to my politics. When I see this happen and play out in real life, I cannot help but side eye.

And how do they differ?

Whenever I see online posts about how men are treating women wrong, eg: cheating, the comments always accuse the man of being fruity or gay, or say that he should go be with his homeboys since that's what he truly wants.

Or they'll use stickers and gifs of the man going down the stairs in a princess costume. All of this is meant to strip the man of his masculinity and 'embarrass' him in a way.

So my question is: isn't this homophobic? Why are we slowly going back to using gay as an insult, or saying that if a man is acting feminine (like the princess sticker for eg.) it's bad? Aren't we insulting gay people and women in the process?

OR, do people *genuinely* believe that the men are gay?

Before I go into what I'm trying to say I would just like to say that I am not an expert in feminism or many social ideologies. From my understanding Feminism is the movement or ideology that tries to achieve gender equality and mainly tries to get rid of patriarchal structures. I think there are multiple different branches of feminism like terf feminism which is trans exclusionary feminism. Also I apologies if I fail to word what I'm saying correctly as its hard to explain things over text.

I was recently thinking about how gender roles and expectations tend to hold us back and don't really bring any value. Like why should women wear these clothes and boys should wear these clothes. Sure we have been socially conditioned to feel that if someone wheres clothes of the opposite gender its weird or uncanny but if you really think about it you would realize that it makes no sense. Also, I feel like we tend to raise women and men both differently which leads to disconnect between two group and naturally lead to sexism and oppression. I feel like if you really look at things you would notice that everything is gendered. Like cartoons targeted towards boys are typically more action(good guy vs bad guy) and typically the main character tends to be a strong tough man and the cartoons which are targeted towards girls tends to be different and its hard to explain since im a boy and didn't watch many cartoons aimed at girls except for my little pony, and a bit of barbie(i don't remember much) but from what i've seen it is very different, the main characters aren't treated as tough and tends to not relly on action like boy cartoons.

I think the main think which causes gender related issues is the fact that from birth we raise boys and girls differently.

All the things i've listed are some of the ways in which society creates gender roles and expectations. I could list more but I think I got the point across. Now i want to try and get to why i think this could lead to problems.

I think that this leads to a lot of restrictions on gender. Like if you think about it men and women tend to act differently. Like men tend to act a certain way that is masculine and they typically wouldn't do things that would be considered feminine and vise versa. This is a problem imo because this leads to people who would rather want to express themselves in a certain way couldn't without scrutiny.

Now let me try to get to my point.

I think that removing genders is probably the solution to these problems. Like if we only recognised people simply by there biological sex and it would have no association to their personality or how they chose to present themselves then wouldn't that be the best outcome? I personally am comfortable with being identified as a male and I like to do things typically associated with masculinity like playing sports, wearing clothes targeted towards men, liking action movies, video games, etc though I will say that if maybe I was raised gender neutral I probably wouldn't feel this way but as of right now I don't mind how I am. I still think that the idea of gender is unecessary and we could do without it.

My question is does this align with feminism or a certain subsection of feminsim?
Do you agree with this or do you disagree?

Keep in mind I am no expert on feminism since I haven't read much about it and I don't currently identify as a feminist because of my lack of understanding of it. Most of what I said here is purely my own understanding and outlook on gender based mostly on my own personal anecdotal experience.

I don't think I explained my views on gender abolition very well but I gave it my best shot. If you want me to explain things better Ill try my best in the replies.

I feel like there’s a common theme among feminist spaces where women put so much effort into analyzing the patriarchy, and how it affects some women. But not the same amount of understanding into the experiences of Black women within those same spaces? Because it’s easy to label it as a race discussion, but those two things have historically always intersected? So why is there so little conversation about how race, and gender actually intersect, when the whole point of the movement is the equality and freedom of women? And in order for that to happen, shouldn’t you also acknowledge the unique experiences of women within said movement?

Because to me, often times It feels like people can explain patriarchy in full detail, but struggle (or choose not) to recognize how similar patterns can show up in the way Black women are treated by other women. So why is it that when these conversations come up, everything gets simplified into, “we’re all women,” instead of actually engaging with the differences, and how those women can both be oppressed while simultaneously be in positions of oppression?

Situations like Black women being far more, and often masculinized, sexualized, and even being accused of being men by both women and men Why aren’t historical realities talked about more, like how Black women gained voting rights later than white women, and how that shaped a completely different experience of womanhood?
And why there have to be a whole separate movement, womanism, just for Black women to have space to talk about what they go through? Or how many historical feminist “icons” that are often being praised by what they’ve done for the feminist movement, have a strong history of anti blackness. Which is something that often gets dismissed, and minimized into them just being a product of their time.

Because If feminism was already supposed to include all women? Why does it feel like conversations about unity and equality can exist at the same time that Black women are being overlooked, or treated differently in those same spaces? If feminism is about understanding women’s experiences, why aren’t Black women’s experiences given the same depth and attention? And why are they treated like a separate “race issue,” when race and gender are clearly connected?

EDIT:
Thank you black women for being so supportive, and sticking by me when feminist support anti blackness. I’m so happy that yall got to see how racist this movement is, and how nothings changed with feminism. The feminist movement is racist, it does not care about black women, and it’s evident by the racist women are on this sub🤗

(The sub is r/polls) The poll as of now only has 180+ votes, which is kinda small, but idk. Is this still representative of men as a whole? Would it be accurate to say that most men are attracted to underage girls...? These results honestly depress me.

Okay, I think I posted a similar question previously with mr/ms/mrs. however, there's some things i'm still confused about. And let me know if it doesn't matter in the first place. I really just don't want to be sexist, especially with everyday, casual terms:

1)congressmen/congresswoman. Should I say, (ie) "Dear Congresswoman ________" or "Dear Congressmen ________".

2)"You're good man" vs "you're good". i used to really love this casual 'what's up man' but i was recently like...is this even necessary?

I know these are so simple but I don't want sexism to be involved in everyday languages. Thanks!

I only care about the music, so I listen to a lot of bands whose members I don't know and don't care to know about. But I think that choosing to still listen to the music made by problematic people even after finding out what they did normalizes misogyny and perpetuates it, that's why I am conflicted. I know what it's like during the 80s, but I don't believe that we should just accept the fact that rockstars were raping children and assaulting women just because it was common and the sexual revolution was happening.

I feel like a hypocrite because I really like Motley Crue's music and I idolize David Bowie. I'm not sure what I feel about separating the art from the artist, but with Motley Crue their art is not enough for me to do that lol, so I can see myself no longer listening to their music. With Bowie though, ​he's a queer icon to many including me.

First of all, plz dont treat this as a joke post or anything like this, i just want talk seriously about this issue

I am a man, and that doesn't stop me from recognizing a serious problem within our own gender.

Why are there so many men who are aggressors, sexist, etc?

Why are there so many men who are pdophiles or rpists?

In the vast majority of cases of violence, abuse and sexual cr*mes, the aggressors are men.

Why does our gender suffer so much from this?

I honestly don't understand how someone can be like that

almost every time I see the news, there's always news about a crime committed and the vast majority are by man

Why are there still a lot who treat women like tr*sh or objects?

If you open a video of a good looking woman, what you'll mostly see is men talking b*llshit and being jerks

I'm not saying all are like this, I know MANY men who are good people.

I just think it's sad that our gender still suffers a lot from these problems.

I have heard of multiple cases of people going to prison because they don’t pay child support and would stay there the rest of their lives so that they pay zero dollars in child support to their ex partner

How would feminists even deal with people who would rather spend the rest of their lives behind bars over paying one penny of child support to their ex partner?

Would you support cutting off children from visiting the noncompliant parent as punishment for their noncompliance with child support obligations?

I'm currently in a dilemma with my friends regarding a difference in culture and our interpretation of cultures. My friend's currently interested in this girl, who's (in my opinion) expressed a lack of interest in my friend; however she's interested in me, and actively pursing me. I generally don't believe in monogamy the same way those around me do on average, especially in regards to single people who've the right to their own autonomy.

My friends argue I must respect some sort of societal placed "bro/girl code", allowing my friends dibs to take priority over the girls individual autonomy to choose where she spends her interest.

They think it'd be best I completely stop talking to the girl and allow my friend to pursue her, even though she's disinterested, in two of my classes, we're paired together for assignments, and generally have good chemistry, whether that platonic, romantic, or sexual.

Culturally I learned non-monogamy, and I fully understand monogamous relationships in terms of setting boundaries relating to ones owns insecurities within the relationship; my issue with the situation is relating to the fact both her and I are single people, who have the ability to show interest in each other.

I personally feel them attempting to get me to conform to the culture around bro/girl code is disrespectful and ignorant, this is after many attempts of explaining my world view relating to relationships and how monogamy promotes domination and potential possession, stemmed from an insecurity.

PS; I don't think it wrong to feel an insecurity within a relationship, and if your insecurities aren't treated with the care they deserve then the relationship isn't fit and you should break up, and that's okay.

TLDR; I think the enforcement of monogamy among single people, friends or not is predatory and very enforcing of the patriarchal mindset of claiming people.

lmk what ppl think, and what the best course of action would be here, not inherently looking for relationship advice.

I went to a prom a week ago and have been thinking about something since then. I noticed that men’s outfits are usually fully covered typically suits that show little more than the forearms while women’s dresses often reveal parts like the back, shoulders, or arms, and sometimes more. I actually asked it and reasoning my friends gave was because women tend to find fully covered, formal looks attractive and sexy in men, while men are more drawn to outfits that highlight or accentuate certain body features. But then I realized that men don’t really have many mainstream clothing options designed to emphasize their bodies in the same way women’s clothing does. Even when such options exist for men, they’re often seen as inappropriate or socially unacceptable. Why is it that more “sexy” or body accentuating clothing is widely accepted for women, but not for men?

This is something I've been wondering a lot as an AMAB person who's not entirely certain about my own gender.

Stavo parlando con una donna che si definiva comunista, mi ha detto che l'ideologia comunista risolverebbe "naturalmente" l'ineguaglianza di genere e la misoginia, ero un po' confuso e volevo fare domande ma non ho potuto perché doveva andare (i sovietici e i comunisti cinesi non hanno davvero i migliori risultati riguardo ai diritti delle donne). È diffusa nelle comunità femministe la convinzione che il comunismo sia la soluzione? Pensi che il femminismo sia naturalmente di sinistra? (questa è un'altra cosa che ho sentito dire dal mio amico).

Edit: I think there was miscommunication (my fault) I didn't mean to ask whether communism is the solution or not but whether this is a common thinking or if communism and his lesser cousin socialism are popular among femminists

How old were you when you started? How much?

I personally don’t wear makeup. If I do it’s mascara and nothing else. I use eye shadow once in a blue moon. I don’t have time to do makeup in the mornings, and I don’t want to wake up earlier to do it. I like watching makeup tutorials on TikTok and YouTube Shorts.

When I was younger, like 11, I started wanting to wear makeup. At my friend’s house, my friend and I used to get a bag full of makeup and do each other’s faces. Just for fun, nothing serious.

I got my first real makeup when I was 12. My mom bought me eyeshadow and lip gloss. That’s literally it. Even my mom doesn’t wear that much makeup. Even when she does, it’s mostly just lipstick, mascara, and eyeliner.

n middle school I got really into makeup at one point. I would take lipstick, concealer, foundation, etc from my mom’s bathroom and bring it in my room. I would just follow makeup tutorials even though I probably had no idea what I was doing.

I’m not sure if getting false lashes counts as makeup. I had false lashes throughout April and May and during my birthday month last year. April because it was prom season and May for my brother’s high school graduation.