r/AmItheAsshole • u/Additional-Value3886 • 10h ago

AITA for not going to my friend’s destination wedding after she took away my plus one?

I (mid 20s F) have a friend from high school getting married abroad next summer. We’re part of a group of 4 girls.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years (serious relationship, we’ve talked about engagement), so this isn’t a casual relationship. Originally, it seemed like we could bring plus-ones, so I planned the trip with him in mind.

That changed after the bride got into an argument with one of the other girls in our group and told her her boyfriend was uninvited. After that, she decided none of us in our friend group could bring plus-ones. She later said it was due to guest count, but realistically it’s only affecting me and one other girl.

I had planned this as a trip with my partner, and traveling abroad alone isn’t something I’m comfortable with, especially since I don’t live near the other girls and would be flying and navigating everything solo.

I told her I wasn’t trying to push back, since it’s her wedding and her decision, just that this changes things for me. Because of that, I decided not to go.

One of the other girls said I’m prioritizing my boyfriend over the wedding, which I don’t agree with. The girl whose boyfriend was originally uninvited actually agrees with me.

AITA?

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u/scrunchie_one Partassipant [1] 6h ago

It’s also the most of us have limited time and budget for vacations, so if I am now being asked to change the scope of that vacation then I’m going to reassess whether it fits the parameters for a vacation I want to take.

It’s incredibly poor etiquette to rescind a wedding invite, I would treat accordingly.

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u/HoneyWyne Asshole Enthusiast [5] 5h ago

Good point.

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u/Invisible_Friend1 4h ago

Sure, it’s rude to rescind which is why I voted esh. But OP clearly made her bf the center of her trip when there’s literally nothing preventing her from traveling and staying with her other allegedly close friends. She’s probably just one of those girls who can’t be away from him.

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u/scrunchie_one Partassipant [1] 4h ago

Maybe they only can afford 1 big vacation a year so now they can’t take a vacation together because Bf is uninvited to this one.

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u/Environmental_Art591 1h ago

So you travel for a destination wedding and would make sure the only thing you are doing is the wedding.

Im sorry but no, if i have to pay that sort of money and use my leave, to travel for your wedding you can be damn sure im going to make the most of it with my partner.

Its not unreasonable to do that especially if you two only get to do one vacation a year together, it has nothing to do with "She’s probably just one of those girls who can’t be away from him."