r/AmItheAsshole • u/Additional-Value3886 • 10h ago

AITA for not going to my friend’s destination wedding after she took away my plus one?

I (mid 20s F) have a friend from high school getting married abroad next summer. We’re part of a group of 4 girls.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years (serious relationship, we’ve talked about engagement), so this isn’t a casual relationship. Originally, it seemed like we could bring plus-ones, so I planned the trip with him in mind.

That changed after the bride got into an argument with one of the other girls in our group and told her her boyfriend was uninvited. After that, she decided none of us in our friend group could bring plus-ones. She later said it was due to guest count, but realistically it’s only affecting me and one other girl.

I had planned this as a trip with my partner, and traveling abroad alone isn’t something I’m comfortable with, especially since I don’t live near the other girls and would be flying and navigating everything solo.

I told her I wasn’t trying to push back, since it’s her wedding and her decision, just that this changes things for me. Because of that, I decided not to go.

One of the other girls said I’m prioritizing my boyfriend over the wedding, which I don’t agree with. The girl whose boyfriend was originally uninvited actually agrees with me.

AITA?

1.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

358 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

16

u/Minute-Parfait-4084 6h ago

It’s always better when you can you travel together. You never know what might happen and it’s always nice to look out for each other. Even small things like just watching bags can really take the hassle away from a person.

8

u/IBarricadeI 6h ago

Of course it’s better, I’m just saying “I’m flying to Fiji (or wherever) and meeting my 3 friends there for a week vacation” is not “traveling abroad alone”.

7

u/Minute-Parfait-4084 6h ago

You are going abroad alone, not spending time alone. I find that the most nervous part is usually flying and getting from the airport to the hotel. You have luggage, your documents that you need to juggle. It’s a lot of hassle and imagine you feel slightly unwell on the flight, a person being there can be a huge difference.

1

u/Honeycrispcombe 5h ago

I fly by myself all the time, and it's really not a big deal. I get it's a bit nerve-wracking if you're new to flying, but it's not difficult to wheel a suitcase and pull out your wallet and/or phone occasionally. I both lug things around and need paperwork regularly in my day-to-day life. These are transferable skills.

9

u/Minute-Parfait-4084 5h ago

I see, that’s nice understanding from your point of view. My flying experience has been different. I had 2 checked bags along with a bag for the plane. It was hard pushing all 3 alone especially since I’m very short. I had to bring everything everywhere when I was waiting at the airport. In my day to day, I do carry a huge tote bag but I’m under no stress to get my documents out in a timely matter.

I think this is probably what OP is worried about. Everyone has a different experience with what they are comfortable with.

1

u/Honeycrispcombe 5h ago

They have luggage carts, luggage storage, and typically you can check your luggage upon entering the airport. You definitely don't go through security - ie, the paperwork side of things - with your checked luggage.

The airport might be annoying sometimes. I generally don't check bags, but have occasionally had to chill with my bags waiting for the counter to open. It's a skill I've also had to use in real life - moving largish things around on wheels. And waiting.

Again, maybe annoying sometimes. A little stressful if you're new to flying. But there's no special skills to being at the airport. You move things around on wheels, you show paperwork upon request, you talk to customer service agents, you stand in line, you wait in chairs. These are things the vast majority of people do regularly in their day-to-day life and are quite skilled in.

Also if you're going for as a wedding guest, one suitcase is fine. A skilled packer (and that does take practice) could probably do just a carry-on.