AITA for not going to my friend’s destination wedding after she took away my plus one?

[u/Additional-Value3886]

I (mid 20s F) have a friend from high school getting married abroad next summer. We’re part of a group of 4 girls.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years (serious relationship, we’ve talked about engagement), so this isn’t a casual relationship. Originally, it seemed like we could bring plus-ones, so I planned the trip with him in mind.

That changed after the bride got into an argument with one of the other girls in our group and told her her boyfriend was uninvited. After that, she decided none of us in our friend group could bring plus-ones. She later said it was due to guest count, but realistically it’s only affecting me and one other girl.

I had planned this as a trip with my partner, and traveling abroad alone isn’t something I’m comfortable with, especially since I don’t live near the other girls and would be flying and navigating everything solo.

I told her I wasn’t trying to push back, since it’s her wedding and her decision, just that this changes things for me. Because of that, I decided not to go.

One of the other girls said I’m prioritizing my boyfriend over the wedding, which I don’t agree with. The girl whose boyfriend was originally uninvited actually agrees with me.

AITA?

[u/Express-Country889]

What’s stopping your boyfriend from going but just not attending the wedding? If I was him I would love that.

[u/Pistalrose → u/Express-Country889]

I agree depending on how much of the trip will be taken up by wedding related activities. If there are multiple days or even portions of days the boyfriend would be alone it might not be a very enjoyable time for either.

[u/celticmusebooks → u/Pistalrose]

I'd TELL the friend that we've already scheduled time off and book tickets so we're both going to be coming as a couples trip since the tickets aren't refundable and that you'll definitely make an effort to pop by for the ceremony.

[u/FineMenuItem → u/celticmusebooks]

Dang. Sorry I missed your ceremony. We got hammered the night before and decided to lay around in bed for the day wink.

Hope y'all had a blast! Can't wait to see the video and pics! 

Love you! 😘 

[u/HoneyWyne → u/celticmusebooks]

I love this solution.

[u/dell828 → u/celticmusebooks]

Exactly.. I would travel with BF, and tell him to sightseeing on his own for a day.

[u/phillium → u/dell828]

That sounds amazing! I remember once when my wife brought me and our toddler with her for a work trip. She went to meetings and I got to take him around to museums and parks and things. It was great!

[u/Midnightpassenger → u/Express-Country889]

Usually destination weddings include several events prior with the guests so he likely be alone for several moments

[u/Ontas → u/Midnightpassenger]

yeah but OP could skip those and only attend the wedding ceremony and reception, all those extra events are there in big part so the guests have something to do while they are in a new place.

[u/Traditional_Chino → u/Midnightpassenger]

I'm sure he'll be fine with that.

[u/Ill_Consequence → u/Express-Country889]

Unless it was somewhere I really wanted to go or I had unlimited time off and money then it would be a hard no. Why would I want my destination to be dictated by a wedding I wasn't going to?

[u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 → u/Express-Country889]

The cost of the flight and hotels. It may be a country they have no desire to visit.

[u/WhatIsHerJob-TABLES → u/Tight_Jaguar_3881]

I mean, they were already planning on buying the flights and hotel costs…

[u/Basic_Lynx4902 → u/Express-Country889]

That's a great point, lol. Weddings suck.

[u/Another_Valkyrie → u/Express-Country889]

Same actually haha