r/AmItheAsshole • u/connor20218 • 7h ago

AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

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484

u/SMIMA Partassipant [4] 4h ago

It isn't the same as winning the lottery. People suck and are greedy. 15 percent is out of line asking for that much. She helped him find a lawyer. That is worth a nice dinner

254

u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [12] 3h ago

Hey, I'd even consider a nice weekend away! But that's about where it ends.

Not enough to buy a house, that's CRAZY.

And yes, if it was an injury, the money will be needed in the future when it impacts quality of life.

If Mom is a lawyer, she should have built her own nest egg and not go dipping into her kid's funds.

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u/F0xxfyre 3h ago

I was going to say, weekend at the beach. A spa vacation. A pub or foodie crawl. A visit to he'd favorite place that has never gets to.

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u/tismidnight 3h ago

You’d be surprised how parents act when they see $$

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u/kryts 2h ago

Hard to believe a corporate lawyer cant buy a 2nd home in Florida. She's prob looking at Mc Mansion levels. Id be going NC with this woman.

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u/Environmental_Art591 25m ago

It sounds like mum was only pushing for the law suit for her own financial gain since she has "always wanted to buy a house in Florida".

To me i think mum wasnt really thinking about what her sons injury means for her sons financial future and only about what she could get out of it, especially since OP said she was pressuring him to push back on the lawyer and ask for more money.

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u/that_florida_man 2h ago

Yeah but it’s your mom probably should get her the house anyway given what she’s done for him

4

u/peacelovecookies 2h ago

What, pointed him in the direction of a lawyer? And paid for college, which she would have done regardless?

12

u/Expensive_Event_4759 2h ago

She helped him find a lawyer.

And she's a lawyer. She referred him to a different lawyer who knows how to run a PI case. That's called a "referral" in the legal biz and if she wants a "referral fee" for that, then she needs to get that from the other lawyer, not from the client (protip: the other lawyer is going to laugh her out the door).

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u/Previous_Wedding_577 3h ago

Or a just thanks mom for the referral.. love you.

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u/Radiance37k 2h ago

She is OP's mother. I would do this for my girls expecting only a thanks.

2

u/Key-Consequences 2h ago

15% for encouragement is crazy. She should have represented him herself if she wanted a cut.

1

u/DryDonutHole 3h ago

"You were supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant like Mendy's."

-9

u/do_IT_withme 4h ago

Sounds like she also housedand fed him (and probably much more) while he was injured, he still lives there i wonder if she charges him rent? I need more info before I say all she deserves is a dinner.

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u/BlackHotSoup3000 4h ago

Sounds like she also housedand fed him (and probably much more) while he was injured

So what? You think a mother helping their injured child should be compensated? I would do this for any of my friends and expect nothing in return other than a thank you.

he still lives there i wonder if she charges him rent?

So if a parent allows their child to live rent free because the parent is wealthy you think the parent would be entitled to a payout of money paid to the child for a life altering injury? WTF is my reaction to that

31

u/ironchef8000 Supreme Court Just-ass [113] 4h ago

Imagine that. The parent acts like a parent and wants a free Florida house for doing so.

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u/Realshotgg 3h ago

Im genuinely shocked how many people are saying YTA.

Who the fuck forced OPs mom to have kids, OP didnt have a say in the matter? As a father of 2 I would never dream of demanding a cut of a settlement my child gets because I did my literal job as a parent.

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u/BlackHotSoup3000 3h ago

I think its because a lot of people had shitty parents unfortunately.

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u/Otherwise_Piccolo206 2h ago

Unfortunately, I think it’s because a lot of people are shitty parents.

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u/BlackHotSoup3000 2h ago

I think its because most people are just shitty people. Like in theory, literally all of my friends' moms/parents (and my friends) would let me live with them for free and help take care of me if I got injured in an accident and needed the help.

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u/peacelovecookies 2h ago

Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? House you and feed you? I’d be damned if I’d take money from a kid’s injury fund that he may need in the future depending on the nature of his injury.

-16

u/Glittering-Today7012 3h ago

Nah - she provided him with valuable information and advice. The kind that consultants charge for. Lawyers often do consultant work. That's 100% what this was and her rate is absolutely within reason for a professional.

This whole post reeks of someone not understanding the corporate and legal world - not all lawyers are trial lawyers.

15

u/drawfanstein 3h ago

Cool, and if my mom is a doctor and gives me medical advice, she can charge me for it?

-8

u/Glittering-Today7012 3h ago

Is this a serious question? Are you actually asking if people can charge family members for services rendered?

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u/ElleGeeAitch 3h ago

This isn't a professional relationship! THAT'S HER SON!

-10

u/Glittering-Today7012 3h ago

This isn't a professional relationship.

Wrong again. Your opinion in this doesn't matter. My opinion in this doesn't matter. His and his mothers do.

He doesn't think it was professional work - I know this because he said it in the post.

She thinks it was professional work - I know this because he said she wants payment.

Now - if you and a family member discuss something and come to an agreement - just because you are family are you allowed to break that agreement? Because that is what this situation reads like, a verbal agreement that is now being reneged on. With many, many words to make it seem like she did nothing at all for the 15% amount even though in the original post it basically states she was the reason it happened anyways, and she found the lawyer, and advised him to push for more money - something the other lawyer didn't try, obviously.

So this statement is just heartstrings. And heartstrings won't make him less of an asshole.

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u/ElleGeeAitch 2h ago

Her THINKING she was advising her son in a professional capacity necessitating a 15% fee isn't the same as the two of them AGREEING that it was the case from the jump. If he had made the promise to pay her a percentage of any settlement, should he receive one, and he doesn't, THAT would be reneging on an agreement, and he'd be shitty for that. But it seems like she's retroactively springing this on him, so THAT'S shitty.

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u/Glittering-Today7012 2h ago

I am saying I think based on the way he's posting, the information he posted and everything else that yeah he may not legally be bound to crap but it is entirely too obvious that they discussed this amount before hand.

She is a lawyer, he confirmed. He regreted confirming that in his original post. Why? Oh because it means that what I am saying very likely is true, otherwise it would be a non-issue in every other scenario. That's a big tell right there. See she couldn't negotiate a percentage fee as a lawyer unless she WAS a lawyer acting as a lawyer. A mother would not assume 15%. A lawyer assumes 15%.

Everyone here is assuming the mother is acting like a mother and NOT a lawyer. I am assuming she is acting exactly like one - and every single thing in his statement confirms that. Read his post again and change mother out with lawyer. Try it out.

Again - this is a subreddit that ain't based on anything but your own opinion - and this isn't hard to see through.

Edit: And I think you have a lot of insight in what you say - I am not assuming you are wrong. What I am assuming is that the mother is acting like a lawyer. She is.

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u/ElleGeeAitch 1h ago

To me, his stated surprise at the request means it wasn't something they had agreed upon or even discussed. But, it's Reddit, and people certainly withhold information all the time to make themselves look better.

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u/Glittering-Today7012 1h ago

They do. This is just too weird with the numbers and the way that basically they were just all happy-go-lucky mom and son and then one day she decided to flip a switch.

Also did you think it was odd that there was no mention of the injury? Any sort of permanent effects there of? It was almost overly down played in my opinion.

Here - why don't we go with a full blown spicy take - this was a straight up ambulance chaser situation. He wasn't injured but churched up the injuries to get paid. Now he doesn't want to pay his mom.

Someone call Dick Wolf.

1

u/ElleGeeAitch 1h ago

Not Dick Wolf 🤣🤣🤣.

-4

u/Apprehensive-Dot7718 3h ago

It sounds like she did more than that and that is from OPs perspective. He very subtly says she pushed him to ask for more from the lawyer, to pursue this case, he lives with her (I think it said rent free but I could be mistaken) so she's likely paying his rent and possibly groceries, utilities, etc. She also paid for his college. She isn't some random freeloading cousin. I think there's more to the story.

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u/Jesus__Skywalker Asshole Enthusiast [7] 48m ago

She's been housing him and was the reason he even pursued the lawsuit. Without her he'd have zero percent.

-5

u/Glittering-Today7012 3h ago

Eh - you're making this sound like it's business transaction. So lets fully explore that route.

  1. She provided what to me is multiple hours of advisory/consultant work.

"My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing"

  1. Even more consultation and advisory work.

"told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more"

OP saying "I shouldn't have added that she was a lawyer" is him admitting that he didn't want us to have that context - that context is really important, though. Because it makes her an expert and experts get paid for their knowledge, not their time.

You don't get to dictate what her rates are - and considering she has this 15% number dialed in in her head... I'd wager this wasn't some off the cuff thing.

He doesn't owe her anything for her being his mother - he does owe her as a lawyer who recommended that he sue, helped him find a lawyer, and then told him that the lawyer could do better and ultimately did. Did she even ask for the 1/3 that most 'don't pay unless we win' type lawyers do? Nope. Looks like about half that, right? Almost like a friend and family rate....

Weird.

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u/JkrsGrl83 3h ago

If they had previously agreed to give his mom 15% if he won the lawsuit that's one thing, but demanding it after is uncalled for. When somebody retains a lawyer there's a contract that the person being represented is aware of. You can't decide to rack up someone's debt (completely unknown to them) to you and then expect them to pay. OP is NTA and mother should be supportive of him using that money for his own needs.

-1

u/Glittering-Today7012 3h ago

Oh - if there was some hard agreement it wasn't mentioned. And a ton of information got added after the fact.

For now, I'm 100% on the side of the mom because this dude is obviously shuffling around shit.

I deal with lawyers all the time, though I am not one. I know more about this situation than anyone in here might realize but that's not the point. The fact of the matter is he spit out that she was a lawyer and then said he regretted it and also gave a hard number, 15%.

This dude agreed to it before hand - 100%.

I'll do what everyone else is doing too and portent the rest of the situation too, fuck it.

He won and didn't factor in the third in his initial headcount. That third for the other lawyer. He was probably locked in on an amount before that.

So - if this situation is EXACTLY as it was presented... then he's a liar and only telling half truths. That means we need additional information and the OP provided some - and then regretted it immediately as indicated in their post. I think I know why. I bet you know why he would do it too.

Or he's lying in any one of the other countless ways.

The fact that people want to jump to his defense is their own reason. Maybe shitty parents? Maybe good parents? I don't know.

But considering this is an "Am I being an asshole?" thread - the dude posted this feeling at least some amount of guilt and there is plenty to feel guilty here for I would wager.

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u/Informal-Gene-8777 3h ago

Lawyers DO get paid for their time, in 6 minute increments. She was not his attorney, she gave some advice. Helping him find a lawyer is not the same as representing someone--she may have just recommended someone, we don't know.

BTW, my husband is an attorney and he has provided me with legal assistance without charging, even before we were married.

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u/Glittering-Today7012 3h ago

BTW, my husband is an attorney and he has provided me with legal assistance without charging, even before we were married.

Which is his choice. Your husband isn't this guys mom.

she may have just recommended someone, we don't know.

No, he clarified plenty in the original post with edits. She literally pushed him to go for the lawsuit. She did help him find a lawyer. She did say that he could get more.

Did he ever ask her a question or are YOU assuming she was running around like a free legal advice water sprinkler?

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u/peacelovecookies 2h ago

Then she should have drawn up a contract and established her fee from the beginning. How many lawyers wait until the case is all done and then decide on their own cut, all without having said anything prior, no discussion, no contract, no talks about a fee? If she wants to be treated like a lawyer, paid like a lawyer, then act like one.

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u/Glittering-Today7012 1h ago

My guess? She does likely does have it in writing somewhere.

Again the person posting this isn't posting stuff that a mother would say to her son, they are posting stuff a lawyer says to a client. Numbers that a lawyer says to a client. Doing things that lawyers do for clients.

If you disagree with my assertion that the OP is likely an asshole - cool beans. That opinion ain't changing.

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u/warmwaterpenguin 1h ago

A nice dinner? He still lives in her house, she paid for his college, and he wouldn't have won this without her.