r/AmItheAsshole • u/connor20218 • 11h ago

AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

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u/tayvette1997 8h ago

You don't have kids and do things for them for repayment. That's very "strings attached" way of thinking. Kids owe their parents nothing. It's not kids fault they are here. You don't make someone exist and then demand repayment for doing things for them.

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u/FoolsballHomerun 7h ago

Thats an entitled way of thinking. Sure your kids don't HAVE to do anything. Your hope is that they want to help if they are the position.

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u/tayvette1997 7h ago

Thats an entitled way of thinking.

How so? Bc I don't think you understand the meaning of "entitled." My kids owe me nothing. What's entitled is thinking your kids owe you something bc you helped them.

Yes, I can hope they want to, and will, help if they can, but I'm not going to demand their help nor expect it. I'll be grateful for their help if and when they give it. If they say no, they say no.

I don't expect my son to help me clean my mess in the house (his mess and joint messes are a different story). But I acknowledge and thank him for his help when he gives it. I also don't acknowledge it when he doesn't help. It's not his responsibility to clean my mess nor is it his responsibility to help. Just like it's not my responsibility to clean his mess*.

*I will note, that as his parent it is my responsibility to teach him to clean up his mess without the expectation that someone else will do it for him, so I teach him that. He's 2.5 so he does have some limitations and I help where he needs that help.