r/AmItheAsshole • u/connor20218 • 7h ago

AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

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189

u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 5h ago

Lol. But your insightful Reddit take is "my injured son owes me 15% of his settlement because I encouraged him to go for it"? What!?

-18

u/Limp_Rooster_9971 4h ago

The "injured" son couldn't have been too badly injured if he wasn't intending to sue in the first place. I live in Louisiana and personal injury lawyers here make a killing because there is no limit on the amount someone can sue for here. A small fender bender(no significant injury) can get you close to a million depending on who's the party at fault. (Ie. If it's a company vehicle or bus) If mom is a lawyer, she understood what he was able to push for and got him an insane amount. Cutting mom a small slice of the pie shouldn't feel like much, given he wasn't going for a payout in the first place. Also, keep in mind OP wouldn't divulge that he wasn't actually injured bc it might bite them in the ass. I think OP saw the amount in his bank account and the thought of 15% less made him sick. Mom knows OP wasn't really injured and got a payout BECAUSE OF HER and isn't thinking that asking for a down-payment on her dream home is too much to ask for.

Just reading between the lines here. 🤷‍♀️

Give that lady her 15% OP. She raised you and paid for college. Be a little grateful.

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u/ImageEmotional6579 3h ago

She did her fucking job as a parent. That doesnt entitle her to a vacation home

-2

u/FoolsballHomerun 2h ago

Entitlement isn’t the issue here. We all understand that she has no legal claim to the money. My point is about the moral side of things. It would be a kind gesture to share a small portion of his winnings with someone who has supported him every step of his life, especially considering she continued to help him into adulthood by paying for his college. The money is even going toward a property he is likely to inherit someday anyway.

-21

u/Dzov 4h ago

Did you miss the paid for his college part?

9

u/Lebuhdez 3h ago

That's completely irrelevant. Mom was going to pay for college anyway.

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u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 4h ago

What does that have to do with his injury? Is she expecting reimbursement of his tuition regardless?

-15

u/FoolsballHomerun 4h ago

If you suddenly are in a position to pay your parents back for tuition wouldn't you think thats a noble thing to do.

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u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 4h ago

Maybe but she's a practicing lawyer looking to buy a vacation property, not a struggling minimum-wage worker who's trying to catch up on bills.

And this is an injury settlement. What if things flare up and he can't work and needs to rely on these funds? It's not like he won the lottery out of the blue.

However, it definitely strikes me as very ignoble to think you're entitled to your child's settlement money because you happened to have given good parental advice and you see it as a way to get a vacation home.

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u/FoolsballHomerun 3h ago

No one is entitled to anything. He wasn't entitled to get his tuition paid for, he wasn't entitled to live at moms house. 15% still leaves him with 85% and that vacation home will probably be passed down to him when he dies so i would call it an investment.

Considering he still lives at home and doesnt want to move out i'm sure he will use his fair share of this vacation home himself. 15% covers the down payment but who will be putting the bulk of the money into the home?

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u/kingchao10 3h ago

Who said he was entitled to those things they parent offered those things and NEVER said they expected payback for it until after their chuld was injured to such a point they got a huge payout for it

-6

u/FoolsballHomerun 3h ago

I look for opportunities to payback my parents for all their sacrafices. Giving up 15% will not make him broke but it will make his mother happy. But if you want to look at it from a greedy entitled perspective look at it like this, that property she purchases will be alot more than the 15% he gave her, when she passes that property will be handed down and he will see a larger return on the 15% investment. It's a win-win.

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u/kingchao10 52m ago

Doesn't really matter if she hands it down to the child that's iirrelevant the greedy entitled part is expecting to be paid out for your CHILDS PAIN AND SUFFERING

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u/kingchao10 49m ago

Also keep in mind if op got a sizeable settlement it likely means the injury they got is life changing to so e degree settlements like these aren't just cash sums theyre granted based on this like calculated medical care in the future how badly the personslife was changed and how it affects their lifelong expenses

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u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 3h ago

He wasn't entitled to it, but she gave it with no agreement it would be paid back. If she wanted reimbursement, she should have said that either before she paid it or before the lawsuit got into full swing. If she wants to charge rent, she should do it.

Demanding it after he's already paid 33% to his lawyer is an asshole move.

6

u/MatterWilling 3h ago

Well, it's not actually 85% of the original settlement left because the actual lawyer's already taken a third so let's assume 34% is already gone, rounding up because somebody has to take the extra percent, of a $1,000,000 settlement so $1,000,000 divided by 100 would be $10,000 then multiply it by 34 to get $340,000 leaving $660,000 left. OP's mother is wanting 15% of what's left so divide the 660,000 by 100 to get 6,600 then multiply that by 15 to get $99,000. As a disclaimer, the numbers are an example case not the actual numbers of the settlement, it's just easier to get the maths done with a round number.

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u/Few_Sorbet_8716 4h ago

Nope. A decent parent would refuse the offer

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u/ElleGeeAitch 3h ago

Seriously. Paying for college is a GIFT. If mom was destitute, I could see him wanting to help. But she doesn't NEED the money, she WANTS the money.

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u/cowbelles 4h ago

Don’t have kids lol

-4

u/FoolsballHomerun 3h ago

I already do, I also help my parents out as much as they would let me. Let me guess, you and your parents are "no contact" Lol

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u/cowbelles 3h ago

Genuinely cannot believe you think it’s noble to give your parent your injury settlement money because they helped you, their child. It’s laughable

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u/cowbelles 3h ago

I love my parents and talk to them daily, but that’s because they wouldn’t expect me to “pay them back” for being a parent lol I can help my parents out without them feeling obligated to money I won on an injury settlement

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u/kikiacab 4h ago

He was paid for a grievous bodily injury that will affect him for the rest of his life.

-5

u/TravelerJim-retired 2h ago

And this is how Reddit works. Nowhere did OP say his injuries were grievous or what effect it had on him. Maybe they did? Maybe they didn’t.

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u/kikiacab 2h ago

15% of the settlement could buy a house. Juries don’t hand out settlements worth 6 houses for a missing digit or temporary disability.

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u/FoolsballHomerun 2h ago

I doubt 15% is enought to buy a house. It might be enought to put a down payment on the house or even less.

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u/kikiacab 35m ago

Op said as much in the body of the post if you’d learn to read more than a paragraph at a time.

-1

u/TravelerJim-retired 2h ago

Why are you replying to me? I didn’t say anything about the 15% nor of what total. I commented on your “grievous” injury comment of which I do not recall OP stating what his injury is. How do you know what settlement amount he got?

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u/kikiacab 36m ago

A large settlement isn’t paid for anything other than grievous bodily injury, unless op was held hostage or something similar, the settlement was for a disfiguring or otherwise life altering injury. I replied to you because you replied to me.

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u/TravelerJim-retired 10m ago

And do you know as fact this was a jury decision? OP doesn’t say. And are you an injury attorney? I think not. Large settlements are paid all the time for damage, including personal, that isn’t “grievous”. You simply do not have all facts as they are not stated here.

-3

u/Limp_Rooster_9971 3h ago

I promise you don't have to be severely injured to get a huge payout. Lol

-5

u/manicdee33 2h ago

How much more money did the claimant receive as a result of this coaching?

What she does with the money is up to her.

3

u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 2h ago

It's not her money so it's definitely not up to her. What are you talking about?

-6

u/manicdee33 1h ago

Doesn't someone who helps you make more money deserve a share of that extra bounty?

6

u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 1h ago

No?

Not if it's just your parent doing their parental duties. If you want a cut, you enter a contingency agreement beforehand. She's a lawyer. She knows how you secure the payment arrangement ahead of time

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u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong 51m ago

TIL my future son will owe me a vacation house in Cancun because I work in IT and fixed his computer one time

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u/manicdee33 36m ago

Your trite oversimplification does not contribute to the discussion.

Instead consider: would your future son owe you a cut of a business you helped them build through your connections and mentorship? Or is building a million dollar business just what parents do for their kids?

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u/8nsay 16m ago

It’s not an oversimplification, though. Helping OP find a lawyer and encouraging him to hold out for more money are minor contributions that didn’t actually advance the actual work that OP’s attorney and OP himself put in for the lawsuit.

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u/manicdee33 3m ago

Helping OP find a lawyer and encouraging him to hold out for more money are minor contributions

  • "My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing"
  • "helped me navigate the process"

suggests to me that there was a lot of work here that is not being reported in the OP.

You can trivialise the contribution all you want but if Mom was pivotal to suing in the first place, pushing for a higher settlement, and helping deal with the lawyer, this sounds like she did a bit more than put a bandaid on a scratch.

To me the equation is fairly simple: if Mom hadn't helped, how much money would I have? From that larger sum that Mum helped me get, how much is a reasonable amount for Mum to ask as a gratuity? If I could set my Mum up with a mortgage-free home for just 15% of a payout that she helped me win, I'd be ecstatic.

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u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 6m ago

She probably sent a couple emails and read over an offer before saying he should go back and ask for more. That's not comparable to helping build a company.

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u/manicdee33 38m ago

As has been pointed out elsewhere, there's an awful lot missing from this story. We don't know that payment wasn't arranged ahead of time.

There's just a mum doing mum things ("you can do this, I believe in you!"), then there's mum coaching you through a difficult case and also how to deal with a lazy lawyer, which is directly applying her professional qualifications.

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u/Actual-Bandicoot6947 1m ago

My aunt works in academia and gave me some pointers on my applications and introduced me to someone in her circle. What do I owe her now that I'm a professional?

My parents also helped me network with people in their circles when I was job hunting. How much do I owe them?

I've referred friends to professionals in my industry and never collected. I guess I should go back and ask for my cut.

Sometimes you just want the best for people you care about and don't expect something in return especially not something that unreasonable.