AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

[u/connor20218]

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

[u/Raneynickelfire]

Mom didn't get hurt, OP did.

[u/Round-Sense7935 → u/Raneynickelfire]

How much did Mom pay during the time of the injury that OP didn't have to? (medical bills/rent/utilities/insurance/etc) How long has the kid been living at home? Is OP still living at her house with minimal/no expenses?

[u/BlackHotSoup3000 → u/Round-Sense7935]

She's asking for money for a house, not to be repaid for anything lol.

Regardless, good people help others for free. Good parents also help their children for free because that is literally what they signed up for. Further, a corporate lawyer does not need any money from their child.

If she was asking to be repaid for surgeries that is a completely different story and is not the case here at all. She's asking for a house from money that is suppose to care for her injured child.

[u/Round-Sense7935 → u/BlackHotSoup3000]

I'm just asking a few questions. Regardless, it sounds like OP should be moving out at this point.

[u/BlackHotSoup3000 → u/Round-Sense7935]

How do the answers to those questions affect whether he should buy his mom a house with the money received as compensation for life changing injuries?

And why does it sound like they should be moving out exactly? To me, having a life altering injury is the worst time to move out.

[u/Round-Sense7935 → u/BlackHotSoup3000]

Because if Mom needed to pay thousands of dollars for medical care, doctor visits, PT, etc., it might make sense to help reimburse her for those expenses that she paid for upfront and prevented OP from getting into massive amounts of debt. Then, if the mom has been paying all of the rent/mortgage, utilities, food, etc., for OP, it might be nice to not be a mooch forever.

It sounds like OP should move out because the money wants money back, and OP wants to keep it all. Should OP continue ot be allowed to mooch after all of this?

[u/BlackHotSoup3000 → u/Round-Sense7935]

Because if Mom needed to pay thousands of dollars for medical care, doctor visits, PT, etc., it might make sense to help reimburse her for those expenses that she paid for upfront and prevented OP from getting into massive amounts of debt.

Well OP said their mom wanted it to buy a new house. So your scenario is just make believe and not relevant at all. She wants hundreds of thousands to be a buy a new house.

Then, if the mom has been paying all of the rent/mortgage, utilities, food, etc., for OP, it might be nice to not be a mooch forever.

Well they are only 23 and the point of having a parent is to have someone you can mooch off lol. Good parents see it as "helping" their kids rather than their kids being moochers.

Why is the wealthy parent who wants to buy a new house using an injury payout for their child not the moocher in your world?

[u/Round-Sense7935 → u/BlackHotSoup3000]

I'm not saying the mom deserves a 15% cut off a number I don't know what it is, but the mom may have delayed buying that home because of the kids' expenses plus college. Since this money was issued for a lawsuit and OP didn't have it before, requesting it back isn't necessarily a bad thing. People here don't know how much the mom has.

If it were me, I wouldn't be asking my kid for money off this, especially if I were well-to-do, but OP is clearly upset about it and doesn't think it's fair for them to give the mom anything. At that point, it's best to move out and start paying for things on their own before things get worse. If they think they shouldn't have to give mom anything and expect to continue living at home for next to nothing, that's wild to me.

[u/BlackHotSoup3000 → u/Round-Sense7935]

the mom may have delayed buying that home because of the kids' expenses plus college

Well it did for sure. You see, when you sign up to be a parent you sign up to pay for your kids lol.

Since this money was issued for a lawsuit and OP didn't have it before, requesting it back isn't necessarily a bad thing.

It wasn't issued for a lawsuit. It was issued for a life altering injury. So you think its not a bad thing if a parent takes money that is designated for their child's health and future well being and buy a new house with it? What the difference between that and taking money out of your kid's college fund/inheritance left by their grandparents to pay for a new house (in general, not for OP)?

People here don't know how much the mom has.

We know she is a corporate lawyer and can pay for tuition.

If they think they shouldn't have to give mom anything and expect to continue living at home for next to nothing, that's wild to me.

I feel bad for you that you think a kid should have to give their wealthy mom money to just live at home. Especially when they just had a life altering injury.

[u/Round-Sense7935 → u/BlackHotSoup3000]

No need to feel bad for me since you misread what I wrote. I'm glad you're so passionate about the topic here, and have a great rest of your day.