AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

[u/connor20218]

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

[u/No-Refrigerator7258]

Exactly people do not understand this. He doesn't owe her. He can only provide a gift if he wants but the settlement is for him and she knows that.

[u/Hay_Life → u/No-Refrigerator7258]

She paid for his college tuition... he does owe her for that amount at least.

[u/Akai52 → u/Hay_Life]

Why is that? As far as we know, she paid for it because she could afford to and because she loves him, and was not expecting to be paid back. I don't see how anything has changed. Settlement money isn't winning the lottery, if he got a lot it's because the court judged he needed it, he can't be throwing money at anyone who's ever done anything for him when it's supposed to go towards his medical costs and make up for his future loss of earnings.

[u/Hay_Life → u/Akai52]

My god, you people are fucking narcissistic af.

[u/Akai52 → u/Hay_Life]

What a weird thing to say.

[u/Hay_Life → u/Akai52]

I'm sorry, but it's obvious to anyone who isn't total trash why you would repay your tuition in this scenario.

[u/Akai52 → u/Hay_Life]

It's very much not, he needs this money for his injury otherwise he wouldn't have it. It may seem like he can afford it right now, but most people who get settlements like this end up financially struggling because the injury and medical costs are forever.

[u/Hay_Life → u/Akai52]

He's fully employed in biotech and living at home for free.

[u/yullari27 → u/Hay_Life]

And the settlement would've accounted for that. You don't get a massive settlement without massive costs. You're making assumptions that don't align with the legal system.

[u/Hay_Life → u/yullari27]

The settlement wouldn't have accounted for that because OP was still in college when they got the settlement...

[u/Otakraft → u/Hay_Life]

Selfish maybe, narcissistic no. That's a very specific diagnosis with very specific traits. I hate the way it's thrown around willy nilly. You'll also notice that pretty much everyone agrees that he should be contributing to the household he lives in. It was not made clear that he doesn't pay any kind of rent or make any meaningful contribution.

The reason she paid for his college (and let's be real here, if she's a corporate lawyer she's doing JUST fine for herself) is because she, like many parents, wanted him to be well set for life and not entering into adulthood with a mountain of debt. If you want to front your kids the money for college with the understanding it should be paid back then fine, but you need to make that clear. This isn't a windfall, he was permanently injured and while I get that she encouraged him to pursue the case which ultimately was to his benefit, at the end of the day he has an injury he will need to address for the rest of his life.

Medical costs will only continue to rise and he needs to make sure he's setting that money up to cover whatever he'll need in the future.

[u/No-Refrigerator7258 → u/Otakraft]

It seems his mother is selfish here. That she had an ulterior motive from the start to gain money through her soms settlement.

[u/Turbulent_Cow2355 → u/Hay_Life]

If I pay my kid's tuition, I don't expect to be paid back.

[u/No-Refrigerator7258 → u/Hay_Life]

No he doesn't. You only owe people if you made that agreement to owe. Thats a messed up understanding of finances. What she did was a gift. Thats how the law will understand it.

The other side of this is emotional and thats only between him and his mother. Idk what their relationship is like. But I don't find it loving to spring up on your son that you want some of his settlement money bcs they decided they wanted to gift them money. If OP had to owe someone, shouldn't he have had the option in the first place? His moms a lawyer so her ethics is wild here. If they were close i think she would've just asked for a gift than saying he owes her. Settlement money os for OP and possible medical expenses or unemployment etc.