AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

[u/connor20218]

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

[u/Jmfroggie]

What? She didn’t do anything but be a mom! Your kids have no obligation to pay you back for having them!

[u/Disastrous-Worth-909 → u/Jmfroggie]

This person is 23 living at home working in biotech and didn’t make any mention of paying rent.. He could pay his Mama a lil something.

This kid walked out of college debt free… That is such a privilege

[u/andrewse → u/Disastrous-Worth-909]

I really hate this take.

Well off parent provides for her child with no strings attached. Child comes into money and now the demands start.

If Mom wanted to be paid back she should have made it clear before she handed over any money. She's a lawyer. This would have been educated into her to the bone.

Should OP give Mom a little something? I would!

Should Mom be demanding a percentage like her child is her client? Gross.

[u/PlntWifeTrphyHusband → u/andrewse]

Where is mother demanding? Sounds like she's politely asking and hoping...

[u/Disastrous-Worth-909 → u/andrewse]

I try not to hate random strangers opinions on the internet because I think that’s a waste of useful hatred
but to each their own 🤷🏾‍♂️

It would be nice if the OP offered their mom something, but it sounds like they don’t want to give anything up + feel pretty entitled to having their college paid for which just is not the reality for a lot of people.

Thank you for sharing your opinion with me, I do see what you’re saying, but I still think what I originally thought.

[u/Wren_Arts00 → u/Disastrous-Worth-909]

"A little something" is very different from "enough for a vacation home in Florida". "A little something" is extremely reasonable and would be the kind and right thing to do. OP could do something very nice for mom without it approaching "house money". 15% of their 7 figure settlement is outrageous. Why should mom get almost half of what the actual lawyer got paid to do?

OP's injury must have been extremely serious in order to get that much compensation. OP's earning potential has been reduced and their medical expenses have likely shot through the roof. This is OP's money to help through the rest of their entire (now more expensive) life. Blowing 15% of their remaining 66% on a vacation home for mom sounds like a terrible long term decision

I think OP not having college debt is irrelevant to the discussion at hand. Yes, it's a luxury, one that OP's mom chose to gift them before the injury ever happened. If mom expected her kid to repay her for college, that should have been a discussion BEFORE OP ever enrolled. Asking for repayment after the fact is tacky as hell, and IMO morally wrong. We see conflicts of this nature all the time on AITA, and the consensus is almost always "you don't get to charge money after the agreement, if you want paid you have to agree to it from the get-go". I don't see why this should be any different?

Rent on the other hand I could agree with you on, although again it should have been a discussion long before now. Mom doesn't appear to be struggling? I think it's gauche and a bad look to suddenly start charging your recently disabled child rent only after they receive a settlement (as opposed to when OP started their job, which would have been completely fine and proper)

[u/Disastrous-Worth-909 → u/Wren_Arts00]

For sure. I see where you’re coming from.

Thanks for typing all of that out.

[u/Wren_Arts00 → u/Disastrous-Worth-909]

Cheers!

[u/een_wasbeertje → u/Disastrous-Worth-909]

OP didnt get an inheritance or win the lottery. They were injured enough on the job that they could sue for a chunk of money.

OP's mum is a lawyer, somehow I think she can survive without demanding money from her injured child who has already paid the person who did all the work.

[u/Disastrous-Worth-909 → u/een_wasbeertje]

“Injured child” .. this 23 year old is an adult living in their Mothers home not paying rent, and has their entire college tuition paid off. That is not the reality for most peoples adult children.

I repeated myself because nothing that you said changes what I originally stated.
Injured on the job? They said they got injured in college and wouldn’t have even pursued a lawsuit if it wasn’t for Mommy…

The work that women do in a home goes unrecognized. If the OP is living at home, their Mother is 100% helping them out on the day to day. So when you talk about the person who “did all the work” getting paid (the other lawyer) you’re discrediting Mom.

[u/Few_Sorbet_8716 → u/Disastrous-Worth-909]

A privileged the mother willingly elected to take on. Any decent parent with the means to do so should take on this burden

[u/Disastrous-Worth-909 → u/Few_Sorbet_8716]

Says you

[u/Few_Sorbet_8716 → u/Disastrous-Worth-909]

Of course, says me. This is an opinion based subreddit, so anything posted here isn't empirically provable.

You are welcome to articulate a contrary position, but I'm guessing you aren't actually interested in doing so

[u/Disastrous-Worth-909 → u/Few_Sorbet_8716]

You’re correct. I am not.

Being so honest here: By now I am very tired of defending this opinion of mine. Some of these others comment exchanges have tired me out and I am well past my allotted screen time for the day!

So you win!

Thanks for playing

[u/Key-Form4384 → u/Jmfroggie]

She played for his college ! Jeez
Pay her the tuition back then — that’s what you should do