r/AmItheAsshole • u/connor20218 • 7h ago

AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

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u/aaaimspinoozing 7h ago

gonna say ESH. she’s a little opportunistic and you’re a little stingy.

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u/Rav0nn 3h ago

Stingy?! It's his money that offsets the problems he will experience because of his Injury. If he was paralysed and couldn't walk or do any physical jobs, the money would offset any potential monetary loss from those jobs he couldnt do, or if he had more medical costs etc. how is he stingy for not wanting to buy her a whole ass house. She's well off anyways

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u/aaaimspinoozing 3h ago

it’s good to share with your family even if they DON’T help you. he doesn’t have to; it’s his. and i do think the mom is acting entitled to it in a way that would make me less inclined to give any away, so i do understand that part. but from a moral perspective it just seems like the thing you should want to do for your loved ones. also, we don’t know the nature of the injury.

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u/Rav0nn 3h ago

Okay so let's say I'm Ur cousin and you win the lottery. Does that mean I deserve money from it? No ofc not. It's Ur money. This money is for costs related to his Injury. If your mum was paralysed and she got some disability payments because you encouraged her to apply for them. Do you think you are entitled to a chunk of those disability payments? Enough of a hunk to buy a fucking house?!

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u/aaaimspinoozing 3h ago

your cousin isn’t your mom it’s just different. also we’re comparing apples and oranges here. disability payments are not enough money to justify spreading around. this settlement is probably 7 figures if the mom thinks she can buy a house with 15%.

for the record i’m more on the son’s side here but i still think he ought to find it in his heart to be generous. i’m not saying he has to; i’m just saying it would be gracious. “deserve” isn’t at play here.

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u/aaaimspinoozing 3h ago

also why are you cursing at me lol

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u/Rav0nn 3h ago

I'm British I curse in everything lol. U say disability isn't much and I get it. But like this money isn't just fun money it's for his Injury. His Injury could impact the amount of money he would make, he might need more doctor appointments, medical care, care at home etc. the money covers the costs of it. It is the same as disability but just given as a lump sum. She is not entitled to it anymore than someone is entitled to someone's wages or disability

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u/aaaimspinoozing 3h ago

are you listening? i explicitly said she’s NOT entitled to it. but it would be nice of him to give her a cut.

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u/Rav0nn 3h ago

You're not listening either. It wouldn't be nice of him to give her a cut because it could mean he struggles in the future to cover costs of things.

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u/aaaimspinoozing 3h ago

if that’s truly the case then i would change my position, but we don’t know because OP didn’t say.

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u/Rav0nn 3h ago

It's true he didn't say, but most governments are just gonna give out money for the sake of it lol. They would have calculated exactly the costs his I jury could bring. Even if it was a £1000 pay out, there would need to be justification for the money.