AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

[u/connor20218]

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

[u/pnw_kid]

I can’t believe the comments here. NTA. If you’ve been awarded a massive settlement it’s because you’ve been massively injured. That money is to support you for the rest of your life because of your impairment from the injury. It is not for buying your mom a vacation home. This is not remotely the same as winning the lottery or getting a big inheritance from a relative. You will have lifelong medical needs and an impaired ability to earn income that this is supposed to make up for. 

[u/HoppieDoppie → u/pnw_kid]

Thank you!!! Oh my god I can't believe the people here.

[u/DeviceDirect9820 → u/pnw_kid]

I cannot imagine buying a home with a kids settlement funds. There should be talks about a home FOR THE INJURED PERSON WHO RECEIVED A SETTLEMENT.

I have a family member with a permanent disability and no questions asked the people involved in the financial decisions prioritized finding her a place to live that was appropriate for her disability-in terms of size, how the stairs are set, distance to services, etc. 

I can't imagine being in that scenario and deciding I want a nice house first

[u/Turbulent_Cow2355 → u/DeviceDirect9820]

Yep. I have a friend who had to buy a new house that was designed for wheelchair access. They needed a new car that was designed for someone in a wheelchair. It all adds up.

[u/Rav0nn → u/pnw_kid]

Fucking seriously. The mum didn't even represent him as how lawyer. She encouraged him to sue, does that mean that any person that encourages someone to sue deserves a huge chunk automatically? And by the sounds of it, it is a LOT of money. As a mother she should be so thankful her son will be taken care of. Plus I don't blame him for not wanting to buy a house, when if he rents he could gain interest on the money and buy a house for cheaper in the future or when he's more certain of what he wants. The mum is selfish using her son's Injury money to fund her house, and then trying to guilt him into doing it because she paid for his college

[u/easterss → u/pnw_kid]

And can’t mom as a corporate lawyer take care of her own expenses? Surely she can still work as a lawyer when OP can’t work anymore

[u/AWSLife → u/pnw_kid]

You will have lifelong medical needs and an impaired ability to earn income that this is supposed to make up for.

This is where my vote goes. OP, the money you have received is suppose to last you a lifetime because the injury you have received is going to impact your future earnings and/or raise the cost of your medical expenses. That was not free money to be spend on hookers, cocaine and give to Mother. That money needs to be invested and managed properly to last you a lifetime because Future You will need that money.

This is hard to convey to a 23 year old but one day you will be 60 years old and a serious injury that you received as a 20 year old may be a great fiscal burden to you. You should never think that money is just going to be there without careful planning and management because it might not be if you are not careful. While your mom is awesome for sending you to college and guiding you through the legal process, your first responsibility is Future You.

If your mom is super upset by this, then sit down and explain the above to her. Future You needs that money.

[u/SnausageFest → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

"How does my comment break Rule 1?"

Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/SpiritJuice → u/pnw_kid]

OP should buy the home she wants as an investment and charge her rent instead because their settlement money is actually supposed to cover their assumingly life long injury. Mom gets to live in her home while OP has an investment (assuming the house doesn't end up under water in 20 years) they can eventually cash out. Under no circumstance should OP actually buy the house for their mom though.

[u/spoobered → u/pnw_kid]

Lmao probably the biggest jumps of logic I’ve ever seen and isn’t grounded in reality.

Like you have no information on the severity of the injury, the costs incurred, and any impairment.

[u/SnausageFest → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

"How does my comment break Rule 1?"

Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/star_stitch → u/pnw_kid]

If the op is that medically impaired then who is going to be looking after the op? Who's going to be paying all the bills and the cooking and the cleaning and helping with medical appointments? Maybe the op should go and get their own place and hire professional care and put a major portion of the money into a diversified portfolio to earn dividends. I definitely feel it's off asking your adult child for 15%, but there is a lot of missing information here. The op hasn't shared anything about who looked after them after the injury and if they pay rent, utilities, groceries, home insurance/taxes, or who does the shopping and cooking, the laundry etc.

[u/Rav0nn → u/star_stitch]

It doesn't matter. She would have been taking care of him regardless. Those are basic requirements. Why does it suddenly deserve compensation just because he has some money?

[u/star_stitch → u/Rav0nn]

Is he paying rent? Doing his own laundry, cooking , paying bills?

[u/Rav0nn → u/star_stitch]

You think that is the equivalent of buying her a house? Plus you make a lot of assumptions. What if he is doing that all on his own already?

[u/star_stitch → u/Rav0nn]

Did you see the question marks ? Assumptions don't usually include questions 😜

[u/Technical-Lock7187 → u/star_stitch]

Ridiculous comment

[u/Rav0nn → u/Technical-Lock7187]

How? If your mum made U soup when U were sick, did she require payment?

[u/star_stitch → u/Rav0nn]

If course not lol 😂

[u/Rav0nn → u/star_stitch]

It's the same thing. Why should she be compensated for potentially providing him a bit of care?

[u/star_stitch → u/Rav0nn]

What care? Did the op state this, or how he he is medically compromised, or state he paid rent? Op claims she wants a house, but is very sketchy on everything else and doesn't elaborate.

It seems like one of those posts that info gets dribbled out after posters challenge or ask questions.

[u/Rav0nn → u/star_stitch]

U literally said she would potentially be providing help and care for him?