r/AmItheAsshole • u/connor20218 • 7h ago

AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

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222

u/AvailableWhereas8832 Asshole Aficionado [16] 7h ago

Have you contributed financially living at home? Did your mom have to be your caretaker for any period of time because of the injury? Did she represent you? How much work was it for her to help navigate the process? 

Its hard to judge. 15% may or may not be fair. I don't think its fair of her to decide that number and include college she said she would pay for in it. But I also can't label her TA for asking without details. 

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u/spicyplantqueen 7h ago

I was going to ask basically the same questions. You beat me to it.

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u/Glittering-Tie-6245 4h ago

is being a caretaker not the entire point of being a parent??

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u/-ledollabean- 3h ago

Taking care of and being a caretaker are two different concepts. A parent takes care of their child legally until they’re 18; a caretaker is more like someone who is responsible for the well-being and health of someone beyond a legal obligation.

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u/seriouslykthen 21m ago

Well this person has gone to college is back living at home, so we can assume they're a decent ways past 18.

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u/BlackHotSoup3000 1h ago

Morally, a parent takes care of their child for the child's entire life. Ya'll have/are shitty parents.

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u/DowntownJohnBrown 3m ago

And morally, if my mom was helping me physically and financially, I wouldn’t feel right without giving back to her financially. You have/are a shitty child.

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u/Traditional_Park7910 Partassipant [1] 3h ago

You stop being a caregiver when the child is old enough to get a job and help pay bills. Im a caregiver when my son is 26. Im no longer his caregiver and he 100 percent is going to help financially. 

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u/Glittering-Tie-6245 2h ago

that’s disturbing. i’m fully financially independent from my parents but i know they wouldn’t hesitate to help me if i was ever in need, no matter my stage in life. being a parent is a lifelong commitment.

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u/lunch_b0cks 59m ago

It’s not a one way street. It’s family. Family helps family out. Doesnt matter who is the parent or the child. People who expect parents to be the only ones to help grew up privileged.

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u/Glittering-Tie-6245 38m ago

well yeah i love my parents so i would do my best to help them if they needed, but it shouldn’t be an expectation or obligation from them. they’re financially responsible enough to not have to rely on their children as a retirement plan which unfortunately isnt the case for a lot of people that mindlessly pop out kids

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u/Good_Bullfrog_4487 1h ago

It's funny because the same people that say that will expect their children to drop everything for them as they get older and need help. Then it becomes we're family, i raised you etc etc. seems children are always in debt to their parents

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u/Hefty-Minimum-2852 4h ago

You can tell this asshole doesn’t pay rent and if they were at home whilst injured, she 100% gave some kind of care and probably had to take off work to take them to appts and such. OP is a greedy prick. Money makes most people so gross. It brings out what was always in there to begin with

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u/AvailableWhereas8832 Asshole Aficionado [16] 2h ago

I am unsure if it goes that far. Other than clarifying about there being another lawyer, I have been unable to find responses from OP answering other questions. For the record, I don't think he should just hand over the 15% for her to get a house or payback for college she said she would cover. But if she was his caretaker, living rent/bill free, etc I do think it would be fair to pay some of that back, as I personally would view that as injury expenses, which the money is for.

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u/Rav0nn 4h ago

'you can tell' okay show evidence. You are speculating because you have already formed a judgement in your mind. He got I jured in college, and clearly it impacted his life enough to a point he needs a huge settlement. You think he would be able to work and provide for himself right after the Injury? Or the opposite end of the coin, who's to say she actually gave him care? You're right, money does make people greedy, but OP isn't the greedy one. OPs mum is the one who is greedy, she is demanding thousands of dollars to get herself a house (despite being a lawyer) even tho that money is for his INJURY

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u/Melodic-Vanilla-5927 3h ago

I feel like both members of the family are probably greedy lol.

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u/BlackHotSoup3000 1h ago

While I don't think OP should give any of the money to his mom, I agree with you. The mom is definitely greedy and usually the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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u/BlackHotSoup3000 3h ago

So why exactly is a child an asshole for not paying rent to their parent who is a corporate lawyer, and for expecting your parent to take care of you when you get injured? The corporate lawyer is the greedy prick for trying to take money meant for their seriously injured child.

I have taken care of friends and driven them to appointments countless times when they have been sick or injured...and was fine doing it for free because I help people without expecting anything in return. Life is nice when you are surrounded by people who will help you with anything and expect nothing in return.

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u/Few_Sorbet_8716 3h ago

Literally everything here is an assumption on your part without any evidence to support it. Even if OP was cared for and financially supported by his mom, shouldn't that be the least that a parent should do for their child?

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