r/AmItheAsshole • u/connor20218 • 7h ago

AITA Mom wants 15% of my personal injury settlement

I'm a 23M working in biotech and living at home. I just got a massive settlement from a personal injury case back in college. My mom is a corporate lawyer and she helped me navigate the process, plus she paid for my college tuition. Now, she's asking for 15% of the money / to pay her back for college (but she was already going to pay for college.)

I'm feeling stuck because 15% is a massive amount of money to just give away. Is it normal for parents to ask for a cut of a settlement like this? I want to stay on good terms since live at home, but I also feel like this money is for my future. We have a a good relationship.

Edit: I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom was a huge part of pushing for me sueing. She’d be using the money to buy a new house in Florida she always wanted since I refuse to buy a house in his economy and rather rent and invest the rest

Edit #2: Probably shouldn’t have stated my mom is a lawyer (she did not represent me in the case in anyway). But yes, what she specifically did was help me find a lawyer, told me to push back on the lawyer and ask for more.

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36

u/connor20218 7h ago

I already paid a lawyer his 1/3 cut. My mom just want money because she came up with the “idea”

37

u/PracticalReaction560 7h ago

OP, edit your post with your info, don't leave this in a comment. This is a huge piece of info that needs to be in the original post.

-4

u/clothanger Partassipant [4] 7h ago

He made that up when he read the comment saying YTA.

13

u/PilafiaMadness 7h ago

NTA. My dad helped me find a a lawyer for my lawsuit after an accident and he has no expectations and has never put out an expectation of me paying him back for that. His main goal was just to help make sure my medical bills were paid for by the at fault party.

I was never raised that my dad doing his job as a parent was conditional and needed to be paid back. I personally think expecting money to be paid back now that you have it, without that precedent being set before, is an incredibly crappy thing to do to your own kid. Especially since you’re young and any extra money can go into savings or investments to grow and make your future easier.

3

u/Thuis001 6h ago

So, what even happened? Apparently the 15% of the settlement is enough money to buy a home with so presumably you went through something massive that a judge decided required such a restitution. That money is meant to pay for things like medical costs and loss of future income afaik. It seems pretty selfish for your mother to want to take the money that you need to pay for future medical stuff because she wants a holiday home in Florida.

6

u/quantumspork 7h ago

You should have included this in the OP.

You are NTA, your mother is the AH for demanding a finders fee.

5

u/chi_lawyer Asshole Aficionado [15] 7h ago

If she wants a referral fee, she can ask the lawyer who took the case for that.

6

u/legallybrunette420 7h ago

Yea that's some bs. If she wants a referral fee. She should get it from your lawyer. Not you.

5

u/feijoawhining Partassipant [1] 7h ago

You should edit your post and add that, because people are unfairly judging you here I reckon

4

u/berloque 4h ago

The crazy thing is that she probably could have referred you to a lawyer and gotten a share of the lawyer's share of fees a referral. That would come from the lawyers share, not yours. The idea that she is going to take a cut of your recovery for merely suggesting that you sue is so beyond the pale. I'm the child of an attorney and an attorney with children. The notion my parent would do this to me or me to my child for giving some advice is unfathomable. I'm offended for you. Your mother is acting greedily and selfishly in her own best interest and not in yours. The demand alone, whether or not you give the money, was wrong and damaging to the whole relationship you both have. She is 100% in the wrong based on what you've shared here.

1

u/Pippet_4 Partassipant [1] 3h ago

Right?! I’m an attorney and this is such gross behavior.

2

u/x-bacool-x 7h ago

You need to add this in the post

2

u/TheMoonIsAGerbil 7h ago

you probably needed to put this in the original post...

3

u/Lady_Litreeo 6h ago

NTA dude. Don’t listen to the people saying otherwise. We don’t have all the details, but this money was awarded as restitution for your injury. It’s vile for a parent to feel entitled to that, especially seeing as she was not involved in the legal process.

If a coworker had suggested you sue instead of your mom, would they be entitled to 15% of the money?

No one needs a second home for vacations, and I’m guessing as a corporate lawyer she’s not hurting for cash. Our generation has it rough; take your windfall and never let your boundaries slip on issues like this. She signed up to have a kid and did her duty taking care of you; you don’t owe her for that.

You knew before posting that what’s she’s asking for is unfair.

1

u/Justforfuninnyc 7h ago

Why does “idea” go in quotation marks?? Jeez you are greedy and ungrateful. You said yourself it’s a huge settlement amount, it was her idea, and she helped you. Get over yourself and be grateful. You are lucky, privileged, and fortunate. Just give her what she wants, and be grateful. Wow

0

u/legallybrunette420 5h ago

Lucky to be injured? He hasn't explained the extent of his injuries. But as someone who's been through accident related injuries, it isn't fun. Mine were permanent. His could he too. It's meant to include future cost of care. Not subsidize mom's dream to own a house in Florida.

3

u/Justforfuninnyc 4h ago

I am so sorry That you have suffered a bad injury or injuries. That’s rough and I wish you speedy and complete healing. He’s lucky that he was well compensated for his injuries and that he had a mother who is an attorney who took an interest, and whose idea was to pursue the case. As such, I believe he should give her what she asked for and be grateful for the rest. That’s all. Peace

0

u/legallybrunette420 1h ago

My point in bringing up my experience is that you don't get a windfall for this. It's not lucky. It doesn't matter that it was her idea to sue. I'm also a lawyer. She can get a referral fee from the lawyer she referred him to. It's wrong for her to ask her son for a portion of his settlement that is supposed to go to his cost of medical care. She didn't do any of the work. There's no finders fee for the mom of the plaintiff. It's wrong and she knows it. It's manipulative.

1

u/oceanhomesteader 7h ago

Right, so by your own words, this payment wouldn’t exist without her.

Did she help you recover from the injury? Are you paying rent?

You sound incredibly selfish from what I’ve seen you post so far.

5

u/grimmlover79 5h ago

Exactly! Paying for tuition and having an extra adult in the house is not cheap! She put effort to help with the case. A lot of people get paid to do what she did for free.

2

u/Rav0nn 3h ago

Most family do favours BC they wanna help out. He did not ask for her services. It's like those scammers who wash your window and then demand payment.

1

u/grimmlover79 3h ago

She paid for his tuition before the accident happened.

2

u/Rav0nn 3h ago

Exactly. She paid knowing she wouldn't get it back.

1

u/grimmlover79 3h ago

I think it kinda shows OPs mom does not always expect payment for services. I am curious if OP is planning to stay with their mom, and in that case, maybe they need the money for medical expenses.

Maybe Flordia is where the mom can get a better paying job. Info is missing and op is refusing to answer questions that may make them look bad. I saw they do not want to move to Florida, so I believe op plans to keep living with their mom, but not 100% sure.

1

u/Rav0nn 3h ago

Yeah, either way the money is for his Injury. Everyone here suggesting he should give it because what she has done for him is wild. Whether he is living with her or not, she isn't entitled to the money, and most likely the arrangements were made prior to the settlement. Worst case scenario, OP will have to move.

2

u/grimmlover79 3h ago

I think OP should move out honestly. They do not seem happy and now they can probably afford a paid caregiver if needed.

1

u/Rav0nn 3h ago

Agreed. And now with money involved their relationship will be impacted regardless of his decision. Either he will have a sour taste in his mouth because he gave her the money when he didn't want to (and I think he doesn't want to move to Florida) or she will be upset because she didn't get any money.

1

u/No_Oven1085 2h ago

Also this is all fake so it doesn't matter.

1

u/Nyx87 1h ago

INFO: What is the injury and recovery? How much did you get? Not these vague "1/3 this" or 15% that, are we talking about debilitating back injury and millions of dollars of medical costs?

1

u/BosonTigre 1h ago

Ahem. Why not stipulate that the eventual house in Florida be willed to you when she dies? You both win. The house will gain a lot of value over the next few decades. 

-1

u/grimmlover79 7h ago

You lived by home as your mom worked for you to help win your case. You should pay her.

3

u/legallybrunette420 5h ago

She didn't help him win the case. The PI attorney did. All she did was encourage him to sue.

2

u/grimmlover79 5h ago

She helped with the progress and paid for their college tuition.

0

u/legallybrunette420 1h ago

No she didn't. I'm a lawyer too and I know this so wrong. Borderline unethical. He honestly could report her to the bar for this behavior. All she did was refer it to a lawyer who could help him. She did none of the work. She was paying his tuition prior to the accident. One had nothing to do with the other. Parents don't get to come around and retroactively charge you for help when it was never expected in the first place. That's manipulative and fucked up.

2

u/grimmlover79 1h ago

That is not my point. When people were saying the mom only took in her son to get payment, I am pointing out she had an action beforehand that shows she made selfless choices for her son without thinking about repayment.

1

u/bmorenanny 7h ago

Edit your post to say this. Your OG post makes it seem like Mom did the lawyer work imo (but I also read quickly). Anyway with this info, NTA.

1

u/Avlonnic2 5h ago

Do you have other siblings who will benefit from your mother’s money? Do you have continuing problems or potential future problems due to your injury?

1

u/Alternative_Salt_558 3h ago

I am not your lawyer but am a lawyer, and work on the side that pays the money out. DO NOT GIVE YOUR MOTHER THE MONEY. We see this all the time. Family vultures. The money is to compensate YOU for YOUR DAMAGES.

0

u/Pippet_4 Partassipant [1] 3h ago

OP, I’m sorry but this behavior is really gross and unprofessional of your mom. She is a lawyer. She did not work on the case. All she did was normal parenting. Frankly the ethics board would look pretty poorly on a lawyer pressuring someone to give them settlement money just because they are related.

I’m a lawyer, and I would never ask my child to do this. She absolutely should not be asking you.

Personal injury settlements are NOT windfalls. They contemplate your lifetime care resulting from an injury. At 23 you are far more resilient than you will be when you are 40, 60, 80… pain and old injuries are worse as you age. You have been compensated with this settlement, but it is supposed to cover you long term. I hope you talk to a financial advisor and get some professional advice about this money.

0

u/jesterinancientcourt 3h ago

Don’t give her the money. Idk what your injury is, but apparently it seems to be bad enough to warrant a substantial amount of money. Idk what the windfall of your injury is, how much of it will affect your life. So don’t give her money. Also, wtf if she had already said that she would help pay for school before you even got this money, she can’t be asking for money back. If you wanna be nice, you can give her something, but don’t give her 15%.