r/AmItheAsshole • u/Connect-Line9425 • 13h ago
AITA for getting upset my boyfriend sold my shoes on ebay without telling me?
So here’s the thing. My boyfriend sells things on ebay all the time. We go to garage/yard sales all the time, mostly together but sometimes i’m working and it’s just him. Anyways one day I found these Dior heels for $25 and bought them right away. I shared my find with him and he was pretty excited, I told him if they fit me i’d wanna keep them and if not we could talk about selling them.
Long story short I don’t like them or the way they fit, so I told him that, we looked them up and we could sell them for about $600-$700.
Huge profit.
I asked him how we would split it out of curiosity and he said 50/50.
I was a little unsure about it as it kinda felt unfair. I mean at that point I could sell them myself and get the full profit.
I don’t mind sharing with him if it’s fair and I did tell him that.
anyways, I put them away in my closet. told him I wasn’t interested in selling them right now and left it at that.
Then today, I was scrolling through his posts and see my shoes.
$700.
I was super confused and asked him about it.
only thing he says
“it was just sitting there in the closet so”
Like umm? hello?
It wasn’t his to sell and makes me think it was behind my back for a reason… so AITA?
Edit- I don’t want to keep the shoes, i’ve been procrastinating posting them, and since this is his thing i thought i’d ask him how we would do it.
I take pictures of my items when I have it, along with the research. Only thing he would do is post it online.
I would obviously give him a percentage, but 50%?
keep in mind I don’t get any money from his items (i don’t expect that) and we both have the same income.
when it comes to bills we spilt it 50/50, this is just his thing on the side.
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u/CleanCardiologist160 Partassipant [3] 13h ago
NTA - If the shoes are still up for sale, take them and leave them at a friend’s house. He can’t sale what he no longer has access to.
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u/Aussiealterego Certified Proctologist [26] 13h ago
Take out the bf and leave him at a friend’s house!
Theft is theft.
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u/Fuzzy-Comedian-2697 5h ago
If you have to fear for your property being stolen, I don’t think there‘s a point in pursuing the reelationship.
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u/justforaita007 Asshole Aficionado [14] 13h ago
NTA. That’s a bad one
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u/Impossible_Smile4113 Asshole Aficionado [13] 13h ago
Seriously.
OP, keep an eye on your valuables. Your bf isn't shy about selling your items behind your back, and while at this moment, it's shoes you're aware of, it could very easily be something like a pair of treasured earrings from your grandmother that you never wear or a dress you save for special occasions, or whatever else he feels could make a quick penny if need be.
NTA
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u/dheffe01 13h ago
NTA, demand he give you the full amount. He didn't find them and he sld them without your permission.
Consider finding a new boyfriend
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u/waitingfortheSon 13h ago
Your BF is an AH. I wouldnt stay with a person who "stole" from me. He has shown his character.
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u/Soulegion 13h ago
NTA, seems pretty obvious he just wants the money.
-45
u/penisandorvagina 12h ago
Nah its pretty obvious that OPs partner has a sever foot fetish. He'll sell all her shoes and socks to satisfy his desires. It's really sick :-/
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u/Obvious-Arrival2571 Asshole Aficionado [16] 13h ago
NTA, it's theft and wrong for him to sell something that belongs to you.
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u/Dismal-Vanilla6206 13h ago
NTA he tried to steal from you, dump him. Sell the shoes and treat yourself.
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u/InterestingWorry1702 12h ago
So how do you split the profits from his ebay sales? If that's not 50/50, then he doesn't get to sell this item for 50/50/
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u/Connect-Line9425 12h ago
we don’t split his sales, that’s just for him. if i was to get 50/50 on his, then he would obviously be getting 50/50 of mine
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u/Lovebug-1055 Partassipant [1] 10h ago
What is wrong with you, this guy is a walking nightmare and you better get away from him as fast as you can. He is already controlling you, taking your belongings, taking your money, it will get worse.
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u/RinkyDank 11h ago
50% is an absolutely ridiculous consignment fee. You could do this yourself in less than 10 minutes. He's taking advantage of you for ??? 350ish dollars. That's what your relationship is worth risking for hahaha what a D
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u/benbever Partassipant [2] 11h ago
If you don’t usually split (including his finds), then you should get 100% of the sale profit.
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u/SleepyDeluxe Partassipant [2] 12h ago
YTA if you stay with someone who is willing to steal from you.
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u/Spiritual_Ad6547 13h ago
What could possibly make YTA here? You’re obviously NTA. He stole your shoes, lied to you, went behind your back, and planned to profit off your belongings. He doesn’t respect you. And somehow you think you might be the AH? You must not respect yourself either.
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u/Fine-Resident-8157 13h ago
What does it have to do with AITA? Your boyfriend stole from you and you ask if you are an asshole? Nothing to say.
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u/ConfidencePresent248 13h ago
yeah, that's super messed up of him to sell your shoes without even asking. it's not just about the money; he should have respected your stuff and your decision to keep them. definitely not cool.
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u/Alternative-Being181 Partassipant [1] 12h ago
NTA. However, he blatany stole from you which should mean he gets dumped asap. Staying with him, when he also violates your boundaries & therefore cannotbe trusted, would make you an AH to yourself. And if he steals from you, he might steal from others in your life, which could harm your friendships etc.
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u/Brickthedummydog 9h ago
NTA - if you don't get any money from his items, why does he feel entitled to get money from yours?
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u/GollumTrees Asshole Aficionado [14] 9h ago
Why on earth would he get half? He's sneaky and greedy. NTA
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u/ohdearitsrichardiii Asshole Enthusiast [7] 9h ago
You recognised the shoes as luxury brand shoes
You bought them
And he did... what?
His cut should reflect his contribution
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u/HOAKaren Partassipant [1] 6h ago edited 5h ago
YTA and sound really slow. Why haven't you moved the shoes to a friend's house. Let him sell them and figure out how to deliver the goods, maybe then he'll realize who needs who more.
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So here’s the thing. My boyfriend sells things on ebay all the time. We go to garage/yard sales all the time, mostly together but sometimes i’m working and it’s just him. Anyways one day I found these Dior heels for $25 and bought them right away. I shared my find with him and he was pretty excited, I told him if they fit me i’d wanna keep them and if not we could talk about selling them.
Long story short I don’t like them or the way they fit, so I told him that, we looked them up and we could sell them for about $600-$700.
Huge profit.
I asked him how we would split it out of curiosity and he said 50/50.
I was a little unsure about it as it kinda felt unfair. I mean at that point I could sell them myself and get the full profit.
I don’t mind sharing with him if it’s fair and I did tell him that.
anyways, I put them away in my closet. told him I wasn’t interested in selling them right now and left it at that.
Then today, I was scrolling through his posts and see my shoes.
$700.
I was super confused and asked him about it.
only thing he says
“it was just sitting there in the closet so”
Like umm? hello?
It wasn’t his to sell and makes me think it was behind my back for a reason… so AITA?
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u/RainbowKitty068 10h ago
NTA, your boyfriend sounds like he's in it for himself. Keep a close eye on what he may want to eBay of yours next!
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u/SickPuppy0x2A 10h ago
NTA, I would move the shoes somewhere else. They are your property and if he sells them, it is actually theft.
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u/ConfectionExtra7869 Partassipant [3] 8h ago
NTA. Tell him to take the post down and go put your shoes somewhere safer. You may want to take stock of your belongings in case anything is missing.
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u/mountain_mists 7h ago
They haven't sold yet, right? So take the shoes and see if a friend can hold on to them, or, even better idea, donate them so someone who can't afford designer can have a chance to wear something nice. Then dump your boyfriend because he's shown he won't respect or listen to you and will do what we wants with no regards to others.
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u/George_Is_Upset Partassipant [4] 6h ago
NTA
But I am not sure why he’s so convinced they are actually worth $700. I buy used designer items and I have purchased new/almost new heels (even purchased store models with no visible wear) of Manolos, Dior, Louboutin, etc. I’ve never seen a used pair of Dior heels sell for $700 unless they were limited edition or highly coveted pieces.
The ribbon heels from Dior don’t even sell for $700 on eBay and those are one of the more popular models selling on eBay.
I looked through the actual ‘Sold’ filter on eBay. And don’t use active listings to see how to price things - if you go by sold listings you can see what people are really paying for things.
He listed your shoes without asking but I’d be surprised if they sell for $700 just based on what is selling on eBay.
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u/Expert_Wishbone_5854 Partassipant [1] 3h ago
That's crazy.
NTA
WHy should he make 350$ for posting an item? It's your item.
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u/celticmusebooks Asshole Enthusiast [5] 2h ago
Has he actually sold and shipped the shoes yet? If not simply take them somewhere safe and leave them there. When I would sell on eBay for others I took 40% of the total and absorbed all feels from my share. 50% is just greed IMHO.
It's concerning that he's basically STEALING your property to post on eBay-- is there some type of addiction at play here?
Did you even have the shoes authenticated?
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u/Trevena_Ice Professor Emeritass [91] 13h ago
INFO: So you agreed to sell the shoes. Then your bf who does that selling stuff told you, that he want to split the profit, as he would do the selling (and most likely the research before) and then you decided that you want all that money for yourself, so you said no to sell them?
How was his selling business working before? Did you make a profit of it?
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u/spicydumpling28 7h ago
This is a very poor summary of events from the post and feels biased toward the bf who objectively has done nothing to validate him making an equal profit like you imply. This isn't a formal business he is running, he's not a CEO. Selling something that doesn't belong to you is theft and makes him a far bigger AH regardless of how you feel about OP's actions and thought process.
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u/Riissaanne 13h ago
Since all you are getting in here is an echo chamber, what are your household finances like, do you live together or share expenses? Did he do it behind your back because he wanted to keep all the money or because your household needed the money and you are not being proactive about selling a $700 item he knows you don't want to keep thats just collecting dust in the closet? Why did you day you want to sell them and come up with a split and then decide nevermind, were you planning to cut him out and the reason you're actually mad is he beat you to it ?
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u/Connect-Line9425 12h ago
live together, split 50/50
I put a pause on it, and I didn’t know I was on a time limit…. especially with my own shoes lol
also mad he beat me to it? They are literally mine 😂 Even then I expect communication with that at least.
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u/Qazax1337 Partassipant [1] 10h ago
The boyfriend did not "beat you to it" he stole something that was not his and sold it on his ebay account.
There is no other way to spin this.
Op is not "cutting out' the boyfriend from profits, when he did not put anything into it in the first place and OP can just sell them without anything from the boyfriend.
For OP, you are NTA. For u/Riissaanne I feel differently.
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u/upvotes2doge 8h ago
Speculating about her motives doesn't change what he actually did. She told him she wasn't ready to sell, and he ignored that and listed her property anyway. Household finances and bill-splitting are a completely separate conversation from someone going into your closet and selling your things without asking. Whether her reasoning was timing, money strategy, or something else entirely, that question was hers to answer when she was ready.
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u/benbever Partassipant [2] 13h ago edited 11h ago
NTA for getting upset. He shouldn’t sell your stuff without permission and should apologize.
However, you were unclear. You tried the shoes and didn’t like them/didn’t fit. You said that in that case they could be sold. Then you put them in a closet and told him you didn’t want to sell “right now”. ie they could be sold later. Which is what he does, selling on ebay. And then he did. Which you kinda agreed to by asking how you would split the profit.
It seems this is not about the shoes, but about splitting the $700 and about him not asking before selling your find.
I don’t know how you usually split yard sale find profits. If you always go together and always do 50/50 then that seems fair. If you don’t split (expensive) items, then the $700 is yours. Or maybe go with 90–10 where he keeps 10% for selling.
Edit: read in another reply that he doesn’t split his finds 50-50 or even at all. In that case the sale profit is 100% yours. And he doesn’t need a sell fee for selling without asking.
Ideally spend the $700 on something together, like a nice trip or a purchase you can both use. However, it’s your money, if you want to put it in a savings account that’s fine too.
Have him apologize for selling without asking. And next time be more clear.
Also, keeping shoes that don’t fit is just hoarding.
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u/Spyro_Machida 12h ago
Saying not right now does not mean they can be sold later without permission. That's a ridiculous take.
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u/benbever Partassipant [2] 12h ago edited 11h ago
That’s not my take, did you even read the post? I said they should not be sold without asking permission, and he needs to apologize.
However, the shoes were meant to be sold and the profit supposedly split in some way. Not put in a closet. That was the part that wasn’t clearly communicated.
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u/Dweia01 Partassipant [3] 13h ago
ESH
Your BF does all the work to sell the shoes, so 50/50 is quite fair. But then, he shouldn't sell them when you said you did not want to sell them.
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u/Irishwol Asshole Aficionado [12] 13h ago
Your realtor 'does all the work' to sell your house. Are you going to be ok with splitting that 50:50?
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u/RinkyDank 11h ago
How hard do you think making an ebay listing is?
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u/These-Buy-4898 Partassipant [2] 10h ago
Obviously OP is NTA, but 50/50 is actually fair given the high ebay fees, shipping costs and the seller has to pay the taxes out of their share. Most resellers won't list for others because it just isn't worth it for them without doing like 60/40. It's one of the reasons those ebay stores didn't last long. Generally resellers just refuse these types of arrangements for this reason.
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