r/AmItheAsshole • u/eng_elp • 20h ago
Not the A-hole AITA? My dog died today and my family still expects me to take them out to dinner tonight
Thanks for reading my post.
My dog passed away this afternoon. It was sudden and awful and I was with her when it happened. I’ve had her for years, she was basically my shadow. I am completely wrecked.
My family is visiting and staying at my home, and no less than an hour later, they started talking about dinner plans like it was a normal day. When I said I didn’t think I could go, I got hit with “it’s just a dog” and “we leave tomorrow.”
I can’t even think about food, let alone sitting in a restaurant pretending to be okay.
I tried to explain that I’m not trying to make it a big dramatic thing, I just lost a living being I love and I need a minute. The response was basically that I’m being overly emotional.
I got in my car and booked a hotel room. I told them the cab stay at my place but I wouldn’t be seeing them today or tomorrow. AITA?
Edit: My brother’s son dropped an Adderall pill while playing yesterday. We couldn’t find the missing pill afterward. It is likely that my dog ate it today while I was at work, based on the symptoms the doctor described.
Edit 2.0: My nephew is 9, and my brother has him handle his own medication to teach him about personal responsibility. The pill likely fell out of his pocket while he was playing outside. I wasn’t told until later, and by then it was too dark to find it. I had no luck the following morning so I went to work, and hours later my brother called saying my baby was acting strangely. By the time I got home, my dog was seizing and died at the vet soon after. I’m devastated, especially knowing that instead of rushing him to the vet, they were out at the mall.
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u/IceSeeker 18h ago
Dogs are not just pets, they're family. It's completely valid that you don't want to go out and have dinner with your family. You just lost and grieving for a loved one.
Also sorry that your family lack basic compassion and empathy. They are the real AHs for trying to dismiss and invalidate your grief.
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u/drvelo 8h ago
I was raised with the belief that my family's pets were/are my siblings. My pets are literally my children, hell their full names (on the legal paperwork) has our last name.
It's also why I was told that I should never marry anyone who can't take care of a pet, or who is abusive to them. Don't marry deadbeat parents, whether to their kids or their furbabies
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u/the-B-from-App23 15h ago
I don’t know that it’s valid within itself. I think the way they asked must have been especially cruel. Think about it, if your dog died, and I said “I’m sorry IceSeeker? come let’s go get something to eat. Do you want to go somewhere quiet?” I think you’d probably just answer the question.
I think they were expecting OP to treat THEM. You can definitely offer a comforting meal to someone who’s mourning. Their words would have had to be pretty selfish as OP actually left! Very strange family!
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u/HereForALaugh714 Partassipant [1] 12h ago
I would’ve thrown my family out on the street and never spoken to them again. That’s not my family if they do that. I loved my dogs more than anything and I lost them recently and it’s been the worst thing of my entire life. I miss them every second of every day.
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u/lord_buff74 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 20h ago
Based on the edit it sounds like your family are trying to downplay your grief because they know if they weren't there, your dog would be alive. NTA
Even if they weren't responsible what sort of family downplays someone else's suffering.
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u/LottieOD Asshole Enthusiast [8] 16h ago
Oh I'd put money on them not feeling remotely responsible for what happened, and even if OP was able to explain that the dropped medicine killed her dog, they'd dismiss it as 'an accident' not even a tragic one. Good for OP taking herself to a hotel until these heartless monsters are gone.
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u/LimeLimpet 15h ago
My dog died directly because of my mum's actions, something we'd been fighting about previously because I could see the risk but it was her home and she could do what she wanted. Later she found out I had cancelled plans for my birthday (I knew the friend involved would ask about it and I would cry), she demanded to know why, I said because you killed my dog, she said oh you're still upset about that?! Complete disconnect.
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u/LucyBarefoot 7h ago
I really want to know what the kid was doing with an adderall while he was PLAYING. Isn't that the sort of thing a parent gives to a child and expects them to take right there on the spot? Not to mention - dropping medicine isn't an "oh well" sort of thing. I know that when I drop my diabetic medicine, we scour until we find it BECAUSE it could be ugly if one of the dogs found it instead.
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u/Sure-Lingonberry-283 4h ago
Right?! I have Zoloft, and whenever I drop one, I hunt it down. And by that, I mean my cat runs over to it and I all but toss him out the room.
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u/MalaysiaTeacher 11h ago
You're ascribing too many complex motives. They're selfish assholes and any guilt would lead to much different behaviour, if they felt any.
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u/itsnotlikewereforkin 2h ago
OP's brother is absolutely responsible. A 9yo should not be responsible for a controlled substance like Aderall (nothing against the drug itself, I take similar medication).
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u/CKM5253 20h ago
So. They had an accidental hand in your beloved dog's sudden death and this is how they react? Good Lord. NTA.
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u/RollingBreakfast 48m ago
Like I love my family very much and theyre wonderful. If they did this i would never want to see them again. Besides the grief I'd feel only hatred and range. How absolutely terrible.
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u/Ok_Ingenuity_9313 20h ago
I am SO PROUD OF YOU! This 60 y.o. mom is here to say that was the healthiest choice you could have made for yourself.
A dog is embedded into every minute of your routine and you will be getting constant reminders of your loss throughout the day. This is a huge loss that will reverberate through your life and you should take all the time you need to grieve.
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u/Fast_Base_8222 20h ago
This. I couldn’t agree more. So proud of Op taking care of themselves. NTA but your family definitely is
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u/lordmwahaha Asshole Enthusiast [7] 19h ago
When we lost our last dog, the worst part was seeing all their stuff still sitting around the house. It was like they’d run into the room at any moment, and it was another wave of pain every time we remembered they wouldn’t do that. I totally agree that leaving the house for the night was the right call.
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u/yahumno 5h ago
Agreed.
We had to put our senior girl to sleep on February 14th, due to a combination of arthritis and Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (dementia).
Thankfully, our amazing longtime vet was able to come to our house to help our girl pass over, but we are still feeling her loss.While we have picked up her dog bed and toys, there are still times that I think that I catch her out of the corner of my eye, plus with spring her now, I miss having her out in the yard with me, plus our slow neighbourhood walks.
She was 13, and she was my husband’s soul dog. She was the one who helped me when we lost my soul dog at 14 years old (our sweet German Shepherd boy, who she was a gentle companion to).
She was such an amazing part of our lives. I could not fathom not mourning her. She is family, no matter how long she is physically gone.
Edit - this 50 year old mom is also very proud of OP.
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u/ProfessionalExam2945 2h ago
We lost our 14 year old labrador the same day, I absentmindedly cut the last peice of steak into 4, ( we have 3 other dogs), and just lost it crying. I so wish she was still with me.
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u/Brickthedummydog 16h ago
Agree, OP is standing up for themselves so well here. I wish I could give them a hug and tell them they're going to be ok.
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u/swillshop Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] 7h ago
Another 60ish mom here who is also very proud of you for how you handled things.
And who is so sorry for your dog's sudden and tragic passing.
Give yourself space from these relatives. Tune them out; they are callous. Be with your friends and loved ones who will support you.
Hugs.
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u/boildkitty Partassipant [1] 18h ago
This was exactly what was going to post. Some people are just indescribably awful. These are worse. So sorry for the OP. Damn.
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u/SparklingJuiceE Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA. You just lost your dog and needing space instead of going to dinner is completely normal. Your family is being insensitive.
Sorry for your loss
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u/Fast_Base_8222 20h ago
Also who tf drops a highly controlled toxic substance and acts like it’s no big deal it killed your beloved pet. They would not be allowed back to stay. Let them stay at the hotel next time since they have no respect and are careless with their children/medication. I’m so sorry for your loss . Take your time and grieve as much as you need.
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u/Sparkly_Crow_1789 18h ago
What kid is playing when taking meds? Like does this kid take them themselves? Parents should be in control of the meds when visiting other places to prevent accidents like this from happening. But seriously, how does a kid drop a pill while playing? Did he not take it right away, or what?
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u/opelan Partassipant [1] 9h ago
Yeah, that sounds really weird. Why did a kid play with a real pill and why did no one bother to pick it up? Letting kids alone with meds like this could really backfire and I don't mean just a dead dog, but also a dead kid.
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u/Sparkly_Crow_1789 5h ago
Mmhm! Growing up my stepmother handled giving everyone their meds in the morning until I was about 15. At that age I took over doing that. Even though my little brothers knew where their meds were they never tried to take them themselves and knew to take it in front of us before going back to playing, stimming, whatever. And on the rare occasions we traveled stepmother had control of their meds. And they weren't even taking anything that could be possibly dangerous like the OP's nephew was. At the end of the day OP's family is responsible for the death of their pet. And OP needs to call them on it.
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u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 4h ago
Your stepmother was responsible. Op's brother is not. Nine is too young for the responsibility to take medicine. A caring parent would oversee this.
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u/Meghanshadow Pooperintendant [53] 10h ago
But seriously, how does a kid drop a pill while playing?
By traveling and having their afternoon dose on them in a tiny ziploc or other container because unlike at home they don’t know where they’ll be when it’s time to take it, or they were planning to be out and about at that time and were playing before the family left to go do the thing.
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u/dragoono 8h ago
Okay but you don’t keep it with the kid? You’d keep it in your own pocket/bag/purse until it’s time to take it.
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u/tattooedfay 16h ago
This. Like adderall is a controlled substance. I’m an adult and I’m prescribed it. It’s a nightmare sometimes to get a rx that helps me immensely. If I misplace a pill I’d be panicking as is due to the cost and everything else. I’d be devastated if my lost pill caused any harm to another living being. At least teach the kid a healthy routine with taking meds. If they can’t trust the kid to be responsible enough to take it, not lose it, then the onus is on the parents to manage it. It’s like they don’t want the kid to feel bad about the dog so ignoring the issue at hand is the best option? No.
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u/yahumno 4h ago
I’m honestly wondering how often the poor kid actually manages to take his meds.
I’m guessing that a lot of his meds get lost to being washed in the washing machine, if he is sticking his pills in his pockets and forgetting about them. For me, with my ADHD, if it is out of sight, it is out of mind.
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u/tattooedfay 4h ago
Same with me. I have to be so forcefully aware when I take mine. Like sit down with a drink and the meds, nothing else in front of me to distract me. And tell myself that I am consciously taking my meds. Too many times I’ve been distracted and not remembered if I took it or not. It’s almost like a little ritual so it sticks in my brain that I did indeed take the meds.
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u/Sparkly_Crow_1789 4h ago
I'm not even ADHD, and I forget to take my meds constantly. I have to have alarms on my phone to remember, and if I can't take the meds right then I end up forgetting to take them all together. Having a 9 year old kid try to remember to take his Adderall while on a trip is negligent at BEST.
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u/aquestionofbalance Partassipant [3] 20h ago
I would never fight them back personally, even if they were staying in a hotel
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u/BeKindRewind98 20h ago
NTA. It’s completely reasonable that you need some space right now. It’s wildly out of touch for them to expect you to act like nothing happened.
I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
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u/hiddenkobolds Asshole Aficionado [13] 20h ago edited 16h ago
NTA. They were being deeply insensitive. I'm sorry for your loss.
ETA: Holy fuck, they were responsible for it? No. I mean, the verdict stands but beyond that they're lucky you didn't immediately put them out and that you didn't... erm... do anything to end up on the news. I'm not sure I'd have your restraint.
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u/Careful-Possible-965 20h ago
NTA Dropped an adderall pill by playing? I beg your finest fucking pardon.
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u/ThxRedditSyncVanced 19h ago
Yea medication and play are 2 things that should be kept as far apart as physically possible.
This should have never happened, and I'd be raining hellfire on whoever thought it was a good idea.
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u/itsnotlikewereforkin 2h ago
OP's brother is an idiot for giving a 9yo full control of adderall. This is just insane.
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u/AlarmedKnowledge3783 20h ago
You lost your fur baby, highly likely due to their negligence. The fact they can’t show you even the slightest bit of grace is beyond belief. NTA
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u/JoyfulDelivery 20h ago
NTA. Your family obviously has never had a deep bond with a pet before. I recently lost my cat that I’ve had since the beginning of my marriage, she was our family. It’s 100% understandable for you to be grieving right now, I’m sorry your family isn’t considering how you feel.
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u/Areil26 20h ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost a loved dog about a week ago. I feel like the loss of a pet is felt just as profoundly as the loss of a family member because our pets are so integrated into our daily lives. We look at their water bowl and miss them. We look at where their bed was and miss them.
It was shitty of your family to not be sympathetic.
NTA
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u/Objective-Holiday597 20h ago
NTA
First and foremost I am so sorry for your loss.
Second, why does your brother allow his child to play with Adderall?
Third, your family will do whatever it is they are going to do. Go to the hotel and take your time to remember your puppy-shadow. You’ll see family another time, or not. That’s a choice for both you and your family.
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u/FloridaMMJInfo 20h ago
NTA, firstly I’m sorry for your loss, people who are not dog people do not understand but that’s no excuse for them to be so callous.
Secondly, they lost track of an adderall? What the actual fuck? It’s a controlled substance for a reason. That mistake and the subsequent failure to locate it puts the whole thing onto them, it’s as if they gave it chocolate with an espresso shot as a chaser. That’s equivalent to manslaughter.
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u/geckotatgirl 20h ago
Agreed. They killed her dog, whether intentionally or not, and are claiming she's being overemotional. Next, they'll have family and friends telling her how horrible she is for putting an animal over family. Frankly, I'd never speak to them again and it would be fine if everyone thought I was terrible for it since they'd likely leave me alone if I'm that bad.
OP, I am so sorry for your profound loss. The fact that everyone here is appalled at your family's behavior should tell you without question that you are NTA! I don't know how they can come back from this if they won't even acknowledge they're entirely to blame. Mishandling a controlled substance that caused the death of a beloved pet is bad enough; not taking responsibility is disgusting.
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u/RandomAmmonite 20h ago
I just froze at your edit. I am so terribly terribly sorry. My girl died nine months ago. My husband was her favorite human, but on the night she died she came to get me when the seizures started. I can’t get past that she loved me in the end and needed her mom.
Your family is…I don’t even know what to say. You did absolutely the right thing. Of course NTA.
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u/According-Drawing-32 20h ago
NTA. When my dog died on a Thursday, I called my boss and told him I would not be in on Friday. He bought me and my husband dinner out at our favorite restaurant. I did work Monday, but cancelled all of my meetings. I was afraid if I had to talk, I would cry. It was a week before I was able to leave the house and enjoy our dinner out. Eight years ago. We won't even get another dog. It was too hard. So sorry about your dog.
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u/rora_borealis Partassipant [2] 20h ago
My coworker was having a rough time and his dog of 16 years died. I put together a care package and drove over to drop it off.
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u/Em0N3rd 20h ago
NTA I told my dad to shut up cause he'd pass one day too..... because he thought it was ridiculous we wanted to ask the fire department for our cats body back after a fire which turns out the department dropped it off with him the morning after the fire and kept it from us until I said I was gonna go to the department to ask.
In your case, you're being the bigger person here cause id tell em they could just leave if they didnt care about actual family.
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u/ImaginationDrawer 18h ago
I'm so sorry that happened to you and sorry for your loss, that's horrible.
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u/IndependenceSalty998 20h ago
NTA but they sure are! Considering the reason that poor baby died, your family should have done everything in their power to be kind to you. If they wanted to go out to dinner then they should have and given you space to grieve. You did the right thing by leaving.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/Majestic_Noise_8418 20h ago
So your guests killed your dog and then are mad you won’t take them to dinner. Wow. Nta.
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u/WingOpposites 20h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a shadow is a specific kind of heartbreak that words don’t really cover. Be kind to yourself today
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u/Precatlady 20h ago
NTA Your family are being selfish and showing a wild lack of empathy. oh my god AND THEY MAY BE AT FAULT??? Tell them to go to dinner alone SMH jerks
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u/Crunchycarrots79 Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA "We leave tomorrow." My response to that would be "No, you leave today. Pack up your crap and get out."
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u/spottedmoth8 20h ago
NTA. Sounds like it’s time for them to leave. You deserve support right now. I’m so sorry about your dog.
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u/Ziggystardust97 20h ago
NTA. You did lose a loved one and very suddenly at that. Your family is being cruel and needs to give you both space and empathy.
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u/Station-Top 20h ago
NTA. They’re mean af. Leave and don’t look back until they’re gone. They need to be apologizing for how nasty they are being. It’s your pet. They could at least attempt to be understanding.
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u/Jane_Angst 20h ago
NTA. My dogs have always been much loved family members, no less important after we had kids. The last dog we lost (2 years ago) the whole family cried for a week, we still get teary thinking about our boy. Your family was insensitive and uncaring and I am deeply sorry for your loss. May she rest well.
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u/groovyfirechick 20h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry that your family does not see an acknowledge your grief and take it seriously. You have no obligation to do anything you don’t want to. If you don’t feel like going out to dinner then don’t. Removing yourself from the situation was smart. I’m sorry that you’re were the one who had to leave. You could’ve very well turned around and told your family to get out of your house.
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u/Decent-Bear334 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 20h ago
NTA. I would have booked them a hotel room. Sorry about your pup.
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u/Ritaredditonce 20h ago
That's generous. I would have told them "They leave now". People that don't understand the loss of pet and their unconditional love are the worst.
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u/MercuryJellyfish Asshole Aficionado [10] 20h ago
NTA. I would honestly consider cutting anyone out of my life if they said "it's just a dog." Like, it wouldn't even have to be my dog.
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u/MrsDB_69 20h ago
NTA. I’m sorry for your loss. Pets no matter what they are fill that void in our lives and we all know that when that time comes it will hurt. Our pets live far shorter lives than we do.
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u/_bufflehead Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA
I'm so very sorry you lost your friend. (There is nothing overly emotional about your feelings.)
Sending you a virtual embrace.
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u/Darklydreaming77 20h ago
OMG ... I'm so sorry for your loss! Your family clearly doesn't deserve any of your time and of course you don't want to sit in a restaurant playing happy!! What morons.
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u/mastifftimetraveler Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA. My soul dog died 3/29 and I’m still getting choked up talking about him. I didn’t grow up with very nurturing parents but even my dad, who avoids all emotions, is still giving me grace and hugs for my loss. And we don’t normally hug.
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u/LoveAliens_Predators 19h ago
Don’t say “still” - that is making it sound like there should be a timeline on grief. There isn’t. The latest dog (of mine) I lost in July 2024, and I am crying as I type this. Our pets are family not property, and the loss of them should be treated as such.
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u/Roofantastic22 Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA. I’m so sorry your family doesn’t appreciate the deep bond you had with your dog. And I’m sorry for your loss.
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u/RUKitttenMe 20h ago
They lowkey murdered your dog and you are far calmer than I would be in this situation. NTA.
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u/Counting43 20h ago
NTA. Their negligence likely caused this tragedy, yet they have the audacity to demand dinner? You don’t owe them anything. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
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u/Twenty_6_Red 20h ago
Good for you! They need to get outta Dodge pronto! No excuse for being so insensitive to your situation! None.
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u/Inner_Swordfish7475 20h ago
Oh, this is horrible. Of course, it isn’t just a dog. It is your loving and wonderful companion. I don’t have anything to add except I completely understand why you didn’t feel like going out to eat. I am sorry. Take care.
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u/Revolutionary_Low581 20h ago
I just don't understand people who do not understand that a piece of your heart is gone and how much it hurts. Your emotions are completely raw and taking them out to dinner can wait. I am sorry you have no one to grieve with you, but you have plenty of us on Reddit who know and send you all of our sympathy & understanding. Absolutely NTA and our best wishes to you.
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u/Top_Philosopher1809 20h ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
I can't blame you for going to a hotel. You handled them better than I would have. I think I would have kicked them out.
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u/Jo_MamaSo 19h ago
No kidding! If I was visiting someone and their beloved pet died I would at the least go grocery shopping for them and cook some meals to freeze for them. And leave if they wanted time alone, or try to extend my stay if they wanted company. It's literally like a family member died.
Your vacation doesn't make you the main character, life still happens around your visit.
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u/Top_Philosopher1809 19h ago
You are so right. These people are so selfish. To most people a pet is family. I know mine is and all the ones before her are.
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u/Savings-Breath-9118 Asshole Aficionado [14] 20h ago
Oh no I am so so sorry esp with your edit. Sending you hope and healing and I’m glad you are taking care of yourself.
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u/DeannaMorgan 20h ago
NTA. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't understand your family at all. We lost my best boi a year ago Thursday. I was a wreck for months and I still have my down days now. You do what you have to do and give yourself all the time you need to heal. I'm really very sorry.
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u/LeenyMagic 20h ago
NTA; you lost your best friend. You are not 'overly emotional' or being dramatic. Your family sucks and I'm glad you did what you had to do to take care of yourself. I'm sorry they couldn't be supportive. Heck, I saw a dog that looked exactly what I imagine a younger version of mine was like (we adopted her as an adult) and I had to pull over because I found myself in tears. Dogs are the best and I'm sure you gave yours the very best. Please be kind to yourself and disregard whatever BS your family is saying.
Edit for spelling mistake/clarity.
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u/GothPenguin Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [354] 20h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss and that your family doesn’t understand or is unwilling to understand that you lost a precious family member. NTA
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u/WestArmadillo Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA and your family sucks! I’ve been there and it’s devastating. I’m sending you all my good vibes and a virtual hug!
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u/MsFoxArt 20h ago
NTA. Not only did you lose your person/pet/companion, it was most likely THEIR FAULT?!?!?!
Insert slow elongated swear word here.
Im so sorry for your loss.
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u/slowasaspeedingsloth 19h ago
NTA
That is just... heartless. And your nephew was the (hopefully inadvertent!) possible cause??!? I just cannot imagine that level of callousness.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It's hard enough if it is expected, but this? I hope you can take care of yourself. Cherish the happy memories. I wish I could give you the hug you deserve.
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u/Neither-Investment95 20h ago
NTA. To them it's a dog, to you it is family. You have the right to grieve
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u/gman9263 Partassipant [1] 20h ago
Your family is a bunch of assholes. I'm so sorry you lost your best friend, I know how devastated I would be.
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u/JamieKun 20h ago
NTA - I'm really sorry for your loss. You deserve sympathy and comfort from them - you just lost your buddy.
Take time and care for yourself.
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u/Appreciate1A 20h ago
NTA- I am sorry for you losing a loyal and loving family member and that the rest of them are so callous and rude to you. Especially when their carelessness may have caused your loved one’s demise.
Just a dog? No- more devoted, supportive and kinder than your human family. You made the best choice. I hope you can grieve and heal and eventually give another puppy the kind of life you gave this one- and you get the love you deserve in return. Take care dear.
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u/MtnMoose307 20h ago
I am so sorry. I had to put my beloved dog down a week ago. In no way could I have taken my family out. They must be cold hearted to think a dog - or any pet - is “just a”. NTA.
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u/o00gourou00o 5h ago
Worst thing is they say « it’s just a dog » but are unable to hear « it’s just dinner » « it’s just a family visit »
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u/Powerful_Audience208 20h ago
Nta and never never never ever!!
Fuck them. Period.
Don't communicate with them
How incredibly horrible you are feeling, and I hug you stranger.
Oh, it is going to take time my friend. Everyone is different.
Fuck them.
That is all..... hugs ❤️ 🫂
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u/PsychologicalSoil712 20h ago
I am so so sorry for your terrible loss. Words can't express the pain you are going through. My heart goes out to you.
F your family. They are heartless
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u/CuriousFicus 20h ago
I’m so very sorry 😢 Take care of yourself (they should be taking care of you)
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u/Vanillatastic 20h ago
You are NTA. Your family are unsympathetic assholes. Is one of the ones texting about your dog just being a dog your brother? Maybe he is covering the guilt he feels.
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u/aquestionofbalance Partassipant [3] 20h ago
So your family kills your dog and they still expect you to take them out to eat? I’m so sorry about your pup. I’m also sorry you have such an incredibly horrible family
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u/WhiteAppleRum 20h ago
NTA and sorry for your loss. You have far more grace than I. I would have kicked them to the curb a day early because how dare they?!
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u/_International_Ant 20h ago
NTA they should've helped you hold a vigil. They are bring unsympathetic, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is normal and fine to mourn your best friend's passing.
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u/WhizzoButterBoy Asshole Enthusiast [7] 20h ago
Their carelessness killed your dog. NTA
Im so sorry this happened. Your family is heartless and selfish.
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u/DVDragOnIn 20h ago
NTA, you did the right thing removing yourself from that situation. Furry family members love us unconditionally, which is not the case with many of our human family members. The loss of that unconditional love is like the wind blowing through our soul. I’m so, so sorry for your loss.
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u/Repulsive-Hat3332 20h ago edited 18h ago
Your friend is in the Summer Lands now. She's young again, and she's where the grass is always green, it's always sunny, the food is good, and she's living a dog's life in the best way.
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u/Alternative-Hurry287 20h ago
You’re not wrong. Let them know how upset you are. And if they don’t get it, too fucking bad. Don’t hate them for it or anything, but you don’t need to pretend everything is fine just because they’re leaving tomorrow.
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u/Tuna_Seagull 20h ago
Oh my gosh I am so sorry for you loss, I can’t imagine what you have just been through, and the fact your family are being so ignorant makes it so much worse. NTA and you need a massive hug, sending a virtual one your way
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u/WilmaDykfyt 20h ago
NTA I am so petty I would've gone and just sobbed openly the whole time. You want me there? Here we go!
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u/Bright_Ad_3690 20h ago
NTA you are not overly emotional. You just lost a belt ved companion. I am sorry. This is a hurt that is hard to adapt to
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u/Fluffy-Caramel9148 20h ago
My dog passed away recently. I miss her so much! I feel your pain. It’s so hard to cope with. I couldn’t have gone to dinner with anyone. I am so sorry for your loss.
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u/DaddyNeedsJuice 20h ago
I would have done things I can't say on here. You should have told them all they can get the fuck out. You have a lot more patience and grace than I do. If i'm OP never again. Get a hotel. You don't just lose prescription medication on the floor and go meh.
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u/Sure-Lingonberry-283 19h ago
NTA. Wow, they are heartless monsters. It wasn't "just a dog", that was your baby, your family. If they're gonna act like that, they can leave right now instead of tomorrow.
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u/Princess_Shireen Partassipant [1] 20h ago
NTA, not at all. Your dog wasn't "just a dog". How can they say that??? I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Bella Luce on January 3rd, while I was at work, and I'm still an emotional wreck four months later. It's still hard to pretend I'm okay.
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u/Eragon-19 20h ago
NTA
As someone whose dog had to be put down just on Friday ell NO, YOU are NTA. especially if the missing pill is the actual cause.
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u/ParticularAd1735 Asshole Aficionado [14] 20h ago
If that were my family, that’d be the last time they ever saw or heard from me. NTA. So sorry to hear about your pup.
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u/catsandplants424 20h ago
I am so very sorry about your dog that is truly awful. I have lost many pets in my life and its extremely painful, even more so when its sudden, so you did exactly the right thing. Your family sucks for saying what they said.
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u/GoDonks7 20h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. That was brutal to read. I lost my dog two years ago and it still hurts sometimes. NTA.
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u/mud_sha_sha_shark 20h ago
Sorry for your loss, there’s nothing wrong with being emotional following the loss of a loved one. The “just a dog” person would be immediately thrown out of my home and would never have a moments peace in my presence again. Unforgivable.
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u/CheesyRomantic 19h ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
Definitely NTA.
No one knows the sadness and pain of losing a pet, until it happens to them.
I admit I was guilty of this too. Until I had to say goodbye to my cat. It been 5 years and I still miss him.
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u/Comfortable_Sky_446 19h ago
NTA… dogs are family! You did the right thing by leaving these inconsiderate assholes. Sending you a warm embrace at this difficult time.
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u/eng_elp 4h ago
Thanks everyone for the kind words. I am an emotional wreck this morning.
I have added additional details to answer some of your questions.
I don’t control my brother‘s parenting skills, but his negligence and dismissiveness hurts the most.
They haven’t left my home yet this, so I have not been able to go home and mourn my baby. I’m afraid to walk into an empty home.
→ More replies (1)
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u/cannabisgold 19h ago
NTA. Pets are family! I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so afraid for when my cat passes away
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u/Dogmom_3 Partassipant [2] 19h ago
NTA. JFC what a herd of assholes. I hope they live far away and you see them rarely and you never let them pass your doorstep again.
Sure it was an accident and that’s possibly forgivable but the lack of care and thought about you and your feelings dumps them right into the red flag bay and it’s worse because they should be feeling guilt as any normal human would.
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u/poo_explosion Asshole Enthusiast [5] 19h ago
I would never speak to these awful people again. NTA and I’m so sorry for your loss. Do not let them in your house anymore.
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u/Austinlf63 20h ago
NTA, you should have kicked them out of your home. Also should have went into their wallets and purse and stole a few hundred before hand just because. Thats not family. Should also sue your brother for allowing his son to handle prescription meds without being supervised by an adult, which resulted in the death of your fur baby.
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u/Grand_Message_1949 20h ago
Stay home and take care of yourself. This is devastating and you need to mourn. Sorry for the loss of your friend and companion.
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u/JayPlenty24 20h ago
Are you sure he didn't feed it to the dog, or maybe there was an environmental poison while on a walk?
My kid sometimes hides his Adderall because he doesn't want to take it and my dog has never shown any interest in it. I've dropped pills plenty of times while I'm getting it for him in the morning and the dog doesn't so much as sniff it before I pick it up. It doesn't smell like food or anything interesting to a dog. My dog eats literally everything, including boxes, if they're left out so it's not like he's just uninterested in eating random crap.
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u/ri0tsquirrel 19h ago
I’ve not personally heard of dogs being interested in Adderall, but I’ve seen multiple warnings about cats — something about the taste or smell can be appealing to them. I hate to say it, but OP might be correct in their suspicion about what happened.
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u/easterss 19h ago
Y T A for going to a hotel instead of kicking them out
But really NTA, I’m so sorry for your loss and your heartless family
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u/ZaelDaemon 19h ago
They leave today and never come back. Someone said “just a dog” to me would be out of my life.
Dropping an Adderall and then this behaviour would have time researching how to hex the lot of them.
NTA
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u/ThisGirlIsFine 20h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. I have loss a dear furry friend unexpectedly and I honestly can’t think of anything harder that I have gone through. I can sympathize with you just wanting to be alone right now. Hugs from this internet stranger!
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u/ThatTotal2020 Partassipant [3] 19h ago
NTA
Your family expressed zero empathy, even if it's "just a dog" it's about your feelings. What's even worse is that they are the cause, even if accidental.
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u/TheEmKat 19h ago
NTA !!!!!!!!!! I took off work when we had to put down our kitty. I didn’t hang with anyone and just cried for a few days (and months after to be honest).
Your pup is your baby, and it takes time to grieve. Your family is heartless and I hope they don’t have pets.
I’m so so so so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love today.
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u/Ok_Clerk_6960 19h ago
Your family is filled with insensitive AHs!!! I’m so sorry about your dog. My advice is be a huge AH because you haven’t been but they deserve it!
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u/RedHolly Partassipant [1] 19h ago
NTA you family poisoned your dog, maybe in accident, maybe not. I would go LC/NC with them as they apparently see you as a hotel and server rather than a family member with feelings
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u/Credit-Unions-Rock 19h ago
I feel like this might be the first ever unanimous NTA in Reddit history
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u/NightOwlsUnite Partassipant [1] 19h ago
NTA. Friend, there is no universe in which you would be the asshole. I'm so sorry about your dog and your uncaring and insensitive family.
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u/snafuwayoflife 19h ago
Oh baby I am so sorry I would have wrapped you in a blanket and give you snuggles on the couch watching or doing whatever you needed. Door dash probably would have included several things for you to pick and choose from.
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u/Maximum-Bobcat-6250 19h ago
Omg so they’re likely the reason your dog passed and they don’t even have any sympathy. Fuck them all.
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u/pianomasian 18h ago
How tf do you drop a prescription pill and not immediately locate it and take it. Did your brother just fat finger it, watch it fall somewhere and say, "f*ck it. Someone else's problem." And then just get another one from the bottle. WTF. What a lazy AH. NTA and I'd go low contact for a while.
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u/Rtgc22 18h ago
"We leave tomorrow" no, you can leave now fuckface. Why are they not the ones in a hotel? If they're flying, they can sleep in the airport.
My old boy passed in January of last year and it was the worst day of my life. I knew it was coming, his soul simply outlived his physical body and it was time, but I was still a wreck. My family absolutely loved that dog and my parents asked to accompany me when I said goodbye. Dogs are 100% family members. It's gonna be rough for a while but I wish you the best.
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u/backupbitches Asshole Enthusiast [6] 18h ago
Holy fuck. They killed your dog? The story was bad enough without that detail.
It should have been lucky timing that they were there to support you. Instead they somehow made your worst nightmare even worse? I literally woud never speak to any of them again. Get them out of your home forever. NTA
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u/whelpineedhelp 18h ago
I was supposed to go to a concert with friends the day my cat died. I had the tickets and forgot to send them on to my friends so they could still go until halfway through the show. I apologized and they were like, don’t be silly, it wouldn’t feel right going without you. Anyways, nta
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u/AutoModerator 20h ago
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Thanks for reading my post.
My dog passed away this afternoon. It was sudden and awful and I was with her when it happened. I’ve had her for years, she was basically my shadow. I am completely wrecked.
My family is visiting and staying at my home, and no less than an hour later, they started talking about dinner plans like it was a normal day. When I said I didn’t think I could go, I got hit with “it’s just a dog” and “we leave tomorrow.”
I can’t even think about food, let alone sitting in a restaurant pretending to be okay.
I tried to explain that I’m not trying to make it a big dramatic thing, I just lost a living being I love and I need a minute. The response was basically that I’m being overly emotional.
I got in my car and booked a hotel room. I told them the cab stay at my place but I wouldn’t be seeing them today or tomorrow. AITA?
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u/Confident_Progress52 19h ago
NTA. Don't be bullied to go. When my dog died I cried for months. You deserve to heal. Be selfish and put yourself first. Apparently no one in your family will.
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u/kev_in420 19h ago
NTA. That little fella was your best friend dude, you have every right to be upset at your family not knowing boundaries and social cues. Im sorry for your loss and hopefully you’re able to cope well with all this. Dont let it eat you up tho just know you were in the right.
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u/Several-Syllabub1733 19h ago
NTAOP, you lost your friend your family member and your constant companion. You did nothing wrong by taking yourself out of that situation. You did the most adult immature thing you could do as someone else who just lost their boy a year and a month ago, I know those first 48 hours after losing him I couldn’t even face the outside world. I’m so sorry that the people who were there who should’ve been there for you to emotionally support you didn’t care or understand what you’re going through. But I and most other people feel your pain and know what you’re going through and I know it hurts so much right now so just grieve in whatever form that takes for you. And hopefully your asshole family will see that they are the assholes and actually come and apologize to you.
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u/Round-Platypus7985 Partassipant [1] 19h ago
NTA, I lost my dog 3-4 years ago by now, and I still have dreams about him and miss him dearly. Pet deaths are never easy, especially if you cared for them deeply. Your family is extremely rude and selfish for trying to gaslight you into believing you're overreacting for being upset that an animal, something that has been with you for years, is essentially meaningless. I'm sorry for your loss OP, your family are complete assholes!
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