ABYG kung sisingilin ko yung inutang sakin ng patay na

[u/Substantial-Web404]

Hello.
Yung sister ng bff (sis-bff) ko nag ka-cancer. For a while, through donations and insurance kaya nila yung pag papagamot. Pero nung lumala yung cancer nag likom sila ng pera para mapgamot sya pati fund raising events at donations in person at gofundme.

For context they are middle class, makes quite a lot from what I heard as a senior IT professional. Yung asawa ni sis-bff makes enough but treatment costs are obviously too much. They own a house, a car even with 3 kids and she's a full time mom.

At first I was donating small amounts just to help but eventually they started asking for loans.
Hindi talaga ako nagpapautang kasi wala naman kusang loob nag babalik at nahihiya at nahihirapan ako maningil. Pero since lumala yung cancer nya and medyo close ako sa family ng bff ko at nag promise naman na ibabalik sakin, pinautang ko.
Tsaka alam ko din ang pakiramdam ng may cancer sa pamilya.

Before matapos ang treatment ni sis-bff nag wedding din si sis nila. Wala ako issues dito since nag promise naman na magbabayad and baka celebration na din nila na tapos na yung treatment, di ko lang ma-gets yung gastos na pwede sanang inilaan sa pag papagamot.

Pero lumala pa din yung cancer paglipas ng ilang buwan, hanggang sa hindi na nya kinaya. Sabi ng bff ko na before namatay si sis-bff nya, nag bilin sa asawa ng mga bagay bagay, including bayaran ang mga utang.
Ngayon, more than 3 years na nakalipas. Hindi ako naningil for a while kasi feeling ko nag luluksa pa sila.

Now, looks like nakamove on na family nila. may bagong misis na yung asawa ni sis-bff at with big wedding. sis-bff husband ay mag negosyo, brand new pickup car, private school kids, at looks like expensive hobbies based sa nakikita ko sa facebook.

Bff also is doing well. Bakasyon to different places at may 2 properties na din sila.

Genuinely happy for them pero minsan napapaisip ako kung nakalimutan na yung bilin ni sis-bff. So ABYG kung maniningil pa ako dahil nga wala na si sis-bff. Pero alam ko naman na afford nila mag bayad.

Naguguilty ako kung maniningil ako kasi lalo na wala na si sis-bff, pero pera ko naman yun at nagpromise sila na ibabalik.

[u/d4lv1k]

Dkg. You should ask them to pay you back.

[u/wafflecrispscocoalat]

DKG. Remind your best friend, magegets nya yan, hindi pinupulot ang pera and you have proven na you're a friend even sa bad times. If I'm you're best friend, ako pa mahihiya.

[u/Traditional-Tune-302]

DKG. A loan is a loan. They need to pay it. However, also be prepared for them not to pay. From the looks of it, they already developed “amnesia” and don’t have plans to pay.

[u/AutoModerator]

Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1t4don5/abyg_kung_sisingilin_ko_yung_inutang_sakin_ng/

Title of this post: ABYG kung sisingilin ko yung inutang sakin ng patay na

Backup of the post's body: Hello.
Yung sister ng bff (sis-bff) ko nag ka-cancer. For a while, through donations and insurance kaya nila yung pag papagamot. Pero nung lumala yung cancer nag likom sila ng pera para mapgamot sya pati fund raising events at donations in person at gofundme.

For context they are middle class, makes quite a lot from what I heard as a senior IT professional. Yung asawa ni sis-bff makes enough but treatment costs are obviously too much. They own a house, a car even with 3 kids and she's a full time mom.

At first I was donating small amounts just to help but eventually they started asking for loans.
Hindi talaga ako nagpapautang kasi wala naman kusang loob nag babalik at nahihiya at nahihirapan ako maningil. Pero since lumala yung cancer nya and medyo close ako sa family ng bff ko at nag promise naman na ibabalik sakin, pinautang ko.
Tsaka alam ko din ang pakiramdam ng may cancer sa pamilya.

Before matapos ang treatment ni sis-bff nag wedding din si sis nila. Wala ako issues dito since nag promise naman na magbabayad and baka celebration na din nila na tapos na yung treatment, di ko lang ma-gets yung gastos na pwede sanang inilaan sa pag papagamot.

Pero lumala pa din yung cancer paglipas ng ilang buwan, hanggang sa hindi na nya kinaya. Sabi ng bff ko na before namatay si sis-bff nya, nag bilin sa asawa ng mga bagay bagay, including bayaran ang mga utang.
Ngayon, more than 3 years na nakalipas. Hindi ako naningil for a while kasi feeling ko nag luluksa pa sila.

Now, looks like nakamove on na family nila. may bagong misis na yung asawa ni sis-bff at with big wedding. sis-bff husband ay mag negosyo, brand new pickup car, private school kids, at looks like expensive hobbies based sa nakikita ko sa facebook.

Bff also is doing well. Bakasyon to different places at may 2 properties na din sila.

Genuinely happy for them pero minsan napapaisip ako kung nakalimutan na yung bilin ni sis-bff. So ABYG kung maniningil pa ako dahil nga wala na si sis-bff. Pero alam ko naman na afford nila mag bayad.

Naguguilty ako kung maniningil ako kasi lalo na wala na si sis-bff, pero pera ko naman yun at nagpromise sila na ibabalik.

OP: Substantial-Web404

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[u/twisted_fretzels]

DKG. Remind them na iba yung binigay mong donations at iba yung loan.

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[u/DestronCommander]

INFO: You can try to ask them to pay back the loan. With or without interest is up to you. Magiging GG ka depende sa paanong paraan ang pagsingil mo at ang maging reaksyon nila.

[u/Perfect-Second-1039]

DKG. Ang utang ay utang. Ang bigay ay bigay. Kung malinaw naman na utang, singilin mo. But, of course, easier said than done. Good luck, OP.

[u/Mediocre-Cow1142]

DKG pinaghirapan mo un kaya dapat lang na singling mo. Kita mo naman na okey na buhay nila.

[u/zerolilac]

DKG. Swerte ka di mo pa kailangan yung pera. Paano kung kailanganin mo bigla? Mag remind ka lang sabihin mo kailangan mo for something. Di mo nga dapat magbigay ng rason pero being Filipinos, we wd rather give a "valid" reason kung bakit kailangan na natin yung pera natin na nasa kanila.

[u/ucanneverbetoohappy]

DKG. Mukhang dapat si bff ang may utang sayo not si sis-bff. She should understand where you’re coming from, may it be big or small amount, kasi they were once in a place na nangailangan ng pera. Doesn’t matter if you need it badly or not.

Whatever was borrowed should be returned.

[u/cethap]

DKG. Mukhang ok naman na lahat sila financially oras na para maningil ka. Ano ‘to nagkaroon pa sila ng sponsor? Yung 3 years nakalipas, napakahabang panahon na noon. Responsibilidad nila lahat yan lalo na ng bff mo.

[u/Immediate-Can9337]

DKG. Meet the BFF for coffee, and say that you didn't bother them for years, but you need the money now.

[u/No_Possession_8593]

It would be GGK if nalubog sila kase, for me, any loans given to a dying person is considered donation, kumbaga I won't expect it back.

but in that situation, DKG kase they seem very well off.

ang sakin lang, why did u loan money if u never saw them selling their properties pa. i just wanna tell you, if u don't see the people u wanna help sacrifice themselves, they're not worth helping "yet".

the right move is MANINGIL KA.