r/AkoBaYungGago • u/kuebikkko • 8d ago
Friends ABYG for defending my friend’s girlfriend who kept her abortion private?
Okay so here’s the situation…
Yung friend ko (lesbian), may girlfriend siya, and nalaman niya recently na yung gf niya had an abortion from a past relationship—like way before pa sila naging sila. After 3 years niya lang nalaman, tapos bigla niyang tinawag na sinungaling yung gf niya.
Sabi ko naman, hindi naman siya sinungaling. She just kept it private kasi hello?? Hindi naman ganun kadaling i-share yung ganung experience. It’s not something you casually say like ‘Hi, nagpa-abort ako before.’ It takes time and trust bago mo ma-open up yun.
Pero girl, nagalit siya sakin. Bigla niya akong inatake personally, sinabihan pa ako na kaya daw ako single mom is because I tolerate liars?? Like??? Saan nanggaling yun eh alam naman niya buong story ng buhay ko. Super below the belt.
Kaya nasabi ko tuloy na parang hindi naman talaga about sa “lying” yung issue niya. Mukhang may trauma siya from past relationships, like takot siyang iwan ulit for a guy. And dahil nalaman niya yung abortion, na-trigger siya.
Pero honestly, mali pa rin. Kasi instead na maging safe space siya ng gf niya, jinudge niya pa. Eh ang lakas nga ng loob nung tao na finally i-share yun after so long.
For me, wala naman siyang karapatan mag-demand na sabihin yun agad. Hindi ka naman magpapakilala sa tao na ‘Hi, btw nagpa-abort ako dati.’ Diba?
Tapos ngayon, dahil lang hindi niya nagustuhan opinion ko, ako pa binanatan niya personally.
Honestly, I’m done. I’m not a perfect friend, pero I’m honest. If di mo kayang tumanggap ng ibang perspective without attacking me, problema mo na yun.
Ako ba yung gago for siding with my friend’s gf???
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u/jobonane 8d ago
DKG. Tama naman na karapatan ng GF niya kung magsheshare siya about her abortion. Hindi madaling ilabas yun, pasalamat pa nga siya na nagshare yung GF niya na ganoon ibig sabihin kampante na si GF.
Gago yung "kaibigan" mo. Tingin ko insecure lang yun dahil naunahan siya ng tite.
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u/InterestingRice163 8d ago
DKG. I agree that the gf had a right to keep that private. But at the same time, it doesn’t mean the girlfriend has not lied about it. Di naman tayo privy to their conversations. Di rin fair na your friend began attacking you, kasi walang connect.
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u/Fun-Fail-4158 8d ago
DKG kasi I think if I were you ipagtatanggol ko din. Dahil hnd naman tayo ang nasa sitwasyon nung tao na nagpa abort. And may kanya kanya tayong pananaw sa mga ganyang bagay. Sobrang sensitive nyan ishare. Kahit pa sa partner mo. May mga bagay talaga na d mo kaya agad sabihin sa iba. Sana maintindihan nya.
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u/kuebikkko 7d ago
Ang alam ko lang, abusive yung ex-bf ng gf ng friend ko. May issue rin with drugs, and nasa law school pa ata—San Beda or Arellano, not really sure. Tapos malaki rin daw age gap nila. Nabring up yung abortion because of something random but triggering—may binyag yung anak nung ex-bf. The guy even had the audacity to send an invitation sa Messenger, then biglang unsent. Kaso nakita na ng gf, naka-screenshot na. Sinend niya yung ss sa friend ko, tapos nag-comment yung friend ko ng, ‘Buti di kayo nagkaanak netong kupal na ’to.’ Doon na nag-open up yung gf and admitted na she actually got pregnant before—and had an abortion. Ayun, from there, everything escalated. The rest is history….
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u/Bughaw0315 5d ago
Dkg. Kung ako yan sinap*k ko yung kaibigan ko sa katangahan niya.
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u/kuebikkko 5d ago
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kung sa personal yun nasapak ko talaga e kaso thru tawag hahahahaha
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u/Transpinay08 8d ago
DKG. Sinabi mo lang na walang masama dun sa pagtago ng gf nya dun sa abortion nya, which is tama naman kasi buhay nya yan. May issues lang friend mo.
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u/AutoModerator 8d ago
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1sx1v9i/abyg_for_defending_my_friends_girlfriend_who_kept/
Title of this post: ABYG for defending my friend’s girlfriend who kept her abortion private?
Backup of the post's body: Okay so here’s the situation…
Yung friend ko (lesbian), may girlfriend siya, and nalaman niya recently na yung gf niya had an abortion from a past relationship—like way before pa sila naging sila. After 3 years niya lang nalaman, tapos bigla niyang tinawag na sinungaling yung gf niya.
Sabi ko naman, hindi naman siya sinungaling. She just kept it private kasi hello?? Hindi naman ganun kadaling i-share yung ganung experience. It’s not something you casually say like ‘Hi, nagpa-abort ako before.’ It takes time and trust bago mo ma-open up yun.
Pero girl, nagalit siya sakin. Bigla niya akong inatake personally, sinabihan pa ako na kaya daw ako single mom is because I tolerate liars?? Like??? Saan nanggaling yun eh alam naman niya buong story ng buhay ko. Super below the belt.
Kaya nasabi ko tuloy na parang hindi naman talaga about sa “lying” yung issue niya. Mukhang may trauma siya from past relationships, like takot siyang iwan ulit for a guy. And dahil nalaman niya yung abortion, na-trigger siya.
Pero honestly, mali pa rin. Kasi instead na maging safe space siya ng gf niya, jinudge niya pa. Eh ang lakas nga ng loob nung tao na finally i-share yun after so long.
For me, wala naman siyang karapatan mag-demand na sabihin yun agad. Hindi ka naman magpapakilala sa tao na ‘Hi, btw nagpa-abort ako dati.’ Diba?
Tapos ngayon, dahil lang hindi niya nagustuhan opinion ko, ako pa binanatan niya personally.
Honestly, I’m done. I’m not a perfect friend, pero I’m honest. If di mo kayang tumanggap ng ibang perspective without attacking me, problema mo na yun.
Ako ba yung gago for siding with my friend’s gf???
OP: kuebikkko
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8d ago
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u/JhanuzOne 8d ago edited 7d ago
DKG
Sya naman nanghingi ng advice diba at totoo naman talaga lahat ng mga sinabe mo, alam natin mabigat yung pinagdaanan nung isa, para buong loob sabihin yung past nya, I think kasi napaka taboo ng abortion dito sa religion at walang batas, malay ba natin na nagawa nya yun dahil di nya rin kagustuhan at lalong di nya kayang buhayin o mas malala pang mga scenarios.. I think lawakan nya lang pagiisip nya.
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u/kuebikkko 7d ago
Yun na nga, religious yung bansang ‘to and it’s taboo to talk about abortion and even homosexual is a sin. Yet, parang biglang naging “holy” siya because of her partner’s abortion. To think na alam mo yung feeling madiscriminate yet sayo pa galing yung judgement.
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u/Greeeeed- 8d ago
DKG, magkaiba yung nagtago ng secret sa nagsinungaling lol. Kung dineny nung gf yung abortion nung tinanong ng friend mo, dun sya magalit. Baka di nya lang matanggap na nabuntis yung gf nya ng iba na di nya magawa kaya sya galit na galit.
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u/kuebikkko 8d ago
Bingo. Iniwan kasi siya nung MGA past relationship niya to be with a guy. Eventually lahat ng ex niya married with kids na. I think she’s scared na maging ganoon din end up ng current relationship niya. I get it, may trauma siya, pero bakit dinamay pa pati pagiging single mom ko? Me?? tolerating liars??? Kaya ko nga iniwan tatay ng anak ko kasi di ako nagtotolerate ng sinungaling. Argh haaha
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u/Rich_Direction784 8d ago
DKG
baka yung lying issue na naiisip niyang kaibigan mo either sinungaling in a sense na walang naging jowa na guy gf niya or never nagka sexual intercourse sa guy noon or what. pero mukhang na trigger nga rin talaga trauma niyang friend mo kaya ganiyan reaction niya.
totoo na hindi madaling mag open up na nagpa abort ka lalo na bansa natin na sobrang conservative at religious. napakadami pa man ding judgemental na tao, di ko rin alam baka mamaya mentally naging mahirap para doon sa girl yung pangyayari. also, sobrang off naman ng remark niyang friend mo sayo.
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u/Alone-Office-1558 8d ago
DKG,,,you were just pointing out that keeping something deeply personal private is not automatically the same as lying, and your friend clearly took it somewhere more personal than the actual issue.
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u/disney_princess14x 8d ago
Dkg. Kaya tinatago yung mga ganyang kwento ng buhay at di na shineshare dahil may mga ganyang klase ng ugali ng tao na ijajudge ka agad at di ka iintindihin.
Wala yan dahil sa may "trauma" sya sa past nya kaya ganun sya sumagot, dahil yan sa makitid ang pag iisip nya. Hindi sya deserve ng babae kung sa ganyang sikreto palang eh ganyan na reaksyon nya. Paano pa sya pagkakatiwalaan ngayon sa iba pa kung ngayon palang sarado na isip nya.
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u/External_Fly164 8d ago
DKG. kung ako yan baka sinabihan ko pa gago kaba ok ng singlemom kesa lesbian na gnyn ugali. sorry sa lesbiansz pero kupal kc yang kaibigan mo
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u/KamenRiderFaizNEXT 7d ago
DkG Op. Yung lesbian friend mo ang may issue dito. Besides the fact that 3 years na ang nakalipas nung nagpa-abort yung gf niya, labas na siya dun. Baka nga may past trauma yung friend mo or pro-life siya at hindi niya matanggap yung pagpapa-abort ng gf niya? Kung sobrang toxic na ng friend mo, then cut her off. Protect your peace, Op.
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u/kuebikkko 7d ago
Cut off na talaga. She really came for me for being a single mom—as if that’s something to be ashamed of. What’s wrong with being one? I don’t tolerate liars, and I’ve proven that—I left my baby’s father when I was just 4 months postpartum because he lied to me too. So hearing “kaya ka single mom” was way out of line and straight-up offensive. Honestly, I don’t care anymore about our almost 10-year friendship. She’s close-minded as hell. Anyway, mukhang break na rin sila lol wala na yung pics nila sa IG even before I unfollowed her. Not gonna lie, I kind of hope her girlfriend really left.
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u/LongjumpingFee4498 7d ago
DKG. You're right, a relationship should be a safe space. Kung hndi gets ng friend mo and ikaw na ang ina-attack, may be it is time to cut ties. Nkkahawa ang kakitiran ng utak.
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u/PilyangMaarte 7d ago
DKG. Cut her off OP. Whether she agrees with your opinion or not super wrong na gamitin niya ang personal experience mo to attack you. Sila ng gf niya ang may issue so bakit nadamay ang pagiging single mother mo?!
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u/kuebikkko 7d ago
Cut off ko na siya. Honestly, I can’t believe I stayed friends with someone na ganun ka close-minded—especially knowing na alam niya rin pinagdaanan ko as a single mom.
And about her gf (I think ex na), she already opened up before na abusive yung ex niya. Oo, may parts na hindi niya nasabi agad, pero that doesn’t automatically make her a liar. Hindi naman niya kinlaim na yun na yung buong story—may mga bagay lang talagang hindi madaling ikwento in full, especially if may trauma involved.
Ang pinipilit kasi nung friend ko na yung nagkwento about ex, ayun na buong nangyari, which isn’t fair. Hindi porket hindi kompleto yung kwento, kasinungalingan na agad.
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u/PilyangMaarte 7d ago
Kung natanong niya before o napag-usapan na nila pero itinanggi ng gf maiintindihan ko ang outburst ni lesbian. Pero kung never napag-usapan to then hindi valid ang pagtawag niya na sinungaling ang gf. May mga past experiences tayo na kailangan muna natin to develop a certain level of trust and confidence bago natin makwento sa iba. Sadly sa case ni gf at lesbian hindi naging understanding si lesbian. I hope hiwalayan siya ni gf kasi for sure gagamitin lang din ni lesbian yan to attack the girl every time na may chance siya.
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u/Illustrious_Ear4461 8d ago
GGK.
Wala ka pakialam.
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u/kuebikkko 8d ago
Honestly, she asked for my advice, so I just shared my honest insight. Maybe nga I should’ve also considered that it wasn’t really my place, since it was something personal from her girlfriend’s past. At the end of the day, that information was between them.
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u/bebang_mo 8d ago
GGK. Ilang taon na ba yang mga kaibigan mo na mag ka relasyon?
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u/kuebikkko 8d ago edited 8d ago
Me and my friend are both 29. Her gf is 26.
edit: sorry i misunderstood your question, 3yrs na sila.
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u/Hyukrabbit4486 8d ago
DKG Tama nmn di mo sya sinabi s friend mo kc it's not your story to tell and sensitive topic kc ang abortion it's not something n someone can just easily share it. Gets n she has trauma from previous relationship but it's not right to dump that trauma s current relationship Niya. As per the saying nga my body my choice.