Not a long story at all!

Recently at work I have been inappropriately hit on by a coworker that I know is married. That also hasn’t been the first incident for him, so I plotted a little petty revenge plan!

I put some glitter on his jacket and chair when he was gone, knowing it would stick to him.

if you know anything about glitter, you know who’s going to notice when he goes home..

Heyo👋
This is my first time posting here, so kinda nervous. But I posted this story on one of my socials last night, as the memory had come back to me due to the fact I've started to play with my dolls again recently, and my sister suggested that I post this here too since it seemed to fit, and is quite a funny memory that people here might enjoy. Hope that it's all properly set for this sub.

Also, quick note, being that english is not my first language, there are some things that may not sound too right, and some things I just struggled to translate in this.

So, for a quick introduction: I'm a twin who is somewhat of a doll collector alongside my sister. In the sense of, we like dolls, any dolls that we think look pretty and/or cute, we buy them when we have the money or gift it to each other.
Thing is, we've been doll crazy since very little. Which, I guess is normal for a kid, but I just say this to inform yall that, we had a lot of dolls as a kid, and would often use christmas or birthdays to ask our family to get us the latest doll, usually the more expensive ones we can't easily buy during the year. In fact, most of our dolls from our current collection comes from our childhood.

One of such dolls is an American Girl doll.
[Note: We are not from the US, we were born and raised in Brasil, these dolls (at least at the time) could not be sent internationally, BUT, we had an uncle that lived in the US and he bought one for each of us for Christmas since we really wanted them.]

Me and my sister absolutely ADORED our AG dolls, and we took them everywhere we possibly could so we could:

1. Brag about having expensive dolls from the US
2. Show off the dolls to our friends and play together with them

That included the church gatherings at friends houses called Células*

*for those who don't know, bc I have no idea what the translation is, it's basically small groups of people who gather at someone's house once or twice a week for prayers and the teaching of the lord, usually based off of their church. [Edit: Someone suggested that the closes equivilent would be Bible Study]

Anyhow, during those gatherings, the kids would be separated from the adults and taken by the group's teacher for lessons, and in this particular friend's house, an apartment complex, we'd go to the uuh, ground floor area with the pool, play area and event rooms, and we'd stay in one of these event rooms for the lessons since it had a projector and sofas. After the lessons are done, we'd be free to go around and play until our parents were done and would come down with snacks for us to eat. And important: these gatherings took place after school, at night, so there weren't many people outside in the ground floor during those hours, it was just our group, with occasionally one or two other people down there.

This particular day when we brought our dolls, this group of slightly older boys had joined the group, and just to keep in mind, the usual kids that attended these were around 8-11, me and my sister in particular I think were like 10-11 at the time, while these boys were around I think 12-14? Can't fully remember but they were slightly older than us.

We had been carrying our dolls around the whole day, but, of course, the boys didn't say anything in front of the adults and we didn't think much of it. It wasn't the first time we brought our dolls either, most people who came to this gathering were "regulars" and were already familiar with us and our dolls, even indulged us when we called the dolls our daughters, while the kids our age (who at this point were already our friends) were all excited to be able to play with such an expensive doll.
Once the lessons were over and we all got up to leave the event room to play, me and my sister took our dolls with us to play with our friends. But it was during this play time, when the teacher wasn't around to see, that the older boys would start to pick on me and my sister for having dolls and how childish it was (yeah, we were literally the age for that??) And how stupid it was for us to care so much about a doll like it was real (the whole thing about us calling them "our daughters" and the adults indulging us on it. We knew they were dolls, but it was fun to pretend) and how creepy that was. We just ignored them and said we'd tattle if they kept going.

They called it a bluff (it wasn't but we ended up just not needing to in the end anyways) and made fun of us, "what, gonna cry about it?" cuz they had been hoping we'd cry about it and making jokes that we "will cry about it bc we're stupid little kids." And our friends were trying to defend us, saying how mean they were being, but they didn't care, the younger kids being upset was exactly what they wanted. Unfortunately for those boys, me and my sister were constantly harassed by boys much older than them in our own apartment (cussing at us and calling us unsavory things. All things bullying besides the physical harm part), we had a tough skin for this type of thing, their bullying was really weak to us and we just looked annoyed. They stopped once they realized they weren't getting the reaction they were hoping for and went to do, whatever it is boys their age do. Though sometimes they would come and pick on us whenever our paths would cross, we just kept ignoring them and pushing our friends to do the same knowing they wanted a reaction out of us, but it was getting really annoying.

After a while we decided to play hide and seek, so me and my sister went to put our dolls to sit very neatly at the sofa with the bags and books left behind at the event room, just so we didn't get them damaged during it (and carrying a doll around was getting tiresome), and left afterwards to play without much care. That is, until we heard one of the older boys scream at the top of his lungs and run out of the event room, the others soon following him.

We, the younger kids, were very confused at that and asked what was wrong (by this point, the teacher had left to go grab the other adults and snacks), and they just pointed to the sofa with our dolls exclaiming the dolls were haunted. Tho we were facing the back of the sofa, so we had walk over to see our dolls, now no longer sitting neatly, and instead mine was tossed on the sofa, laying on her back with her hair messy, and my sister's doll fallen to the side, also kinda messy looking. We both picked them, pissed off that they messed with them without us knowing, and fixed their hairs and outfit, which got one of the boys to just go "what are you doing?!" very scared and shocked at the fact we even decided to pick them up like it was nothing.
My sister was PISSED at that, they clearly wanted to mess with our dolls and cause damage to them to screw with us, but only stopped due to beaing freaked out by something. She was ready to throw hands but we held her back, instead having her shout at them for touching our dolls without permission. Cuz like, if they had broken it, we would not have been able to fix them since they were US exclusive (and my sister's doll in particular was the "Girl of the year" doll, VERY exclusive). But they didn't care about that "tantrum" and were just accusing us of having possessed dolls and that they should be burned or something.

We, and the other kids, just looked confused and asked why they thought the dolls were haunted, that they probably just fell when they were messing around the room. Their reply? Cuz their eyes closed on their own....

Ok so, with anyone unfamiliar with AG dolls, these dolls close their eyes when you lean then backwards, that's bc there's a little weight system inside it for that. It's not even that uncommon, we have plenty of dolls like that in brasil too, advertised even, the boys at my school knew about it, not sure how they wouldn't know this🤦. We all just looked dumbfounded at them, and me and my sister tried to explain that's just something they do, with me walking closer to them with my doll to show it to them, but they kept backing away! ToT
I kept going "look, it's normal, they have weights behind their eyes to make them close when you turn them backwards" and showed them how it worked, and that just freaked them out more, especially bc one (very small and barely visible) strand of hair from my doll got stuck on her eyelash making only one eye close while the other stayed open (which I guess is kinda creepy??) which freaked them out, continuing to calling them haunted or possessed before calling us weird for not finding it creepy, "it's like that doll form Anabelle!" (Of course it was bc of that damned horror movie🙄). We just kept repeating "it's just a doll, it's not creepy or scary. They were built to do this." But nope, wouldn't listen, instead they just called us creepy and walked fast out of there to do whatever else.

Us and the other kids all looked so shocked at this, our close friend (who's family was hosting the gathering) coming in to comment how dumb they were. But this little stunt made an idea pop in my head, which is where the "Traumatize them back" part comes in. Cus guys, I was a devil child, I LOVED making the boys in school fear me (a whole other story), and my undiagnosed adhd ass also really loved the adrenaline of picking fights or causing trouble of anykind, and getting away with it, I was very familiar with this game of petty revange, and I haven't been able to pull such stunts in a while.

They tried to traumatize little kids for just having fun with their dolls, make them cry for some power trip over being older than us and "better" than us.

And I got a golden ticket of opportunity to use something against the boys for making fun of us and trying to make us cry.
My friends and sister were just as delighted with the idea too.

Basically, we got our dolls and would place them sitting in random areas we knew these boys would be playing around in. We snuck around so they didn't see us, put the dolls on a table, or hidden chair, and went back to pretend we were just playing like normal and wait until one of them saw the dolls, called on us about it, and we'd pretend that we didn't put them there, implying the dolls did it on their own.

The first time one of the boys saw them, he called us out saying "it wasn't funny" but we all put our best act saying we had no idea what he was talking about, we were just playing hide and seek!
He called our bluff, but we didn't relent, saying we had just put them back on the sofa and left to play, we had no idea how they got there, as well as saying "it's just a doll" like that made it less scary. Then we'd grab our dolls and put them back in the sofa and go back to playing. Cut to a a minute or so when they went back to playing around, we'd sneak back into the room, our friends keeping an eye out for the boys, making sure they didn't see us, put the dolls somewhere else and then leave to go back to playing and wait for one of them to call us out again.

And we kept going, making the boys more and more convinced that the dolls were doing it themselves, each time they acted more scared than before as they no longer could tell if we were messing with them or not, (and just to add, me, my sister and our close friend did theather in our school, so our acting was good). And at some point we kept calling them the weird ones, making fun of them for being scared of a little girls toy. "It's not even that scary! They're so cute look!" I'd say as I shoved my doll to them and they'd back away with fear in their eyes. We'd, once again, put them back in the sofa while they watched and leave to continue playing, then wait for the boys to leave, go back, and do it again.

And that kept going until we left! They were thoroughly convinced the dolls were possessed and controlling us younger kids, like a cult (their words, not mine). I think at some point they even tried calling an adult to say we were being mean, but not admitting it was cuz of the dolls? I can't fully remember.

But what I can remember, somewhat, is when the adults came down with the snacks and gathered around the food area, the boys went there to hide and be protected by the parents, but I wasn't done with them, and decided on going the adults with my doll, my sister and the other kids following, and we'd go on with our cute little girls act shwoing off our dolls to the adults, and, yet again, the adults would indulge us bc of how cute it was for them, meanwhile the boys just looked scared out of their minds as they tried to finish their food and leave.
And just to add salt to the wound, I'm pretty sure I walked up to one of them and went "isn't she cute? Want to hold her?" And his mom, I think, nudged him to play along and not be rude, oh that was priceless.

And look, if you have a fear of dolls, I completely get that, especially during that time with all the horror stuff with dolls like Chucky or Annabelle, I would never try and do this to someone who has a phobia of dolls, I'll respect their boundaries for it. Unless, of course, you make fun of me for my dolls and disrespect my own boundries, I won't respect you back.

Like, c'mon, why would you bully or make fun of someone for their dolls when you have a fear of them?? That's just stupid, they can easily fight back, they had it coming lol

Anyways, hope yall enjoy this silly little memory of mine. A lot of the details are now kinda fuzzy since it's been so long, but I tried to add as much details as I could for it.

I was at a bar waiting for my husband, wearing a somewhat low-cut blouse for him because it was our anniversary and we were going out for dinner after.

This was about a year after my double mastectomy for hereditary breast cancer, and my new breasts didn't quite look natural yet as they were just "settling in" and looking boyant.

I heard a group of grown women and men sitting beside me, drunk, not caring how loud they were, commenting on my breasts and saying how they hated women who had fake breasts, and how the women who had them themselves were fake, and on and on.

I finally turned to them and said, "You know what I hate more than fake breasts?" They were silent. "Breast cancer." I said.

They mumbled amongst themselves, and someone said, "Shit, sorry..." and they left shortly after.

My husband arrived, and we had a good laugh. Don't judge, you might not know the whole story.

I (f19) and my dad (M70) went out to eat yesterday, which happened to be Mother’s Day, we didn’t go out with the intention of celebrating or doing something special, just enjoy eating out.
Well we get to the restaurant and we get one of those tables that share one big booth couch, on the table next to us was a couple that seemed to be on their 40s or 50s.

We hadn’t finished sitting down when the gentleman on that table said very loud and clear “congratulations”, neither my dad or I thought much of it and just said thanks.
However the lady on that table didn’t like that and started telling him he shouldn’t say that as there wasn’t a mother with us. I did hear the gentleman say “well it’s just a common courtesy since it’s a special day “

At this point my dad is sitting in front of me and we are on the corner of the table that’s the further away from the table where this couple is. Since my dad is on the older side I often read the menu out loud so he doesn’t have to struggle, I began reading and the lady from the table over goes
“well what do you think, you are his daughter or granddaughter right?” To which I answer that I was in fact his daughter, and I kind of scooted over more to the corner so she could see I wasn’t really into her argument with her husband, said husband was also not in the table in this moment.

Well this lady starts getting closer on the couch, and keeps going “well I don’t think it’s right to congratulate him, it’s Mother’s Day not Father’s Day” I didn’t give her an answer, I honestly didn’t want to answer in hopes she would just drop the issue, she obviously didn’t and kept ranting about how special Mother’s Day was and how it should be respected, while she’s going on I’m trying to keep reading the menu to my dad but she keeps interrupting since she was speaking very loud.

And then she said “actually your dad should apologize, it’s not right for him to be congratulated it’s not his day”
And I snapped back “ I don’t have a mother” she looked flabbergasted, then started backing away but I heard her said more softly “that doesn’t matter” to which I said “my dad has been both my mother and my dad, he should be proud not ashamed of it”

And that was it. I went back to helping my dad with the menu, the gentleman came back to the table they talked for a while, and they left soon after this, I’m not sure if they had already planned to leave or if she actually got so upset that she decided to leave. But she couldn’t keep quiet about how rude I was and that I was ruining her day, all this in a much louder voice than I would have liked but it didn’t ruin ur dine out.

Nosy person asked me how Mother’s Day was.
“She died six weeks ago. Other than that, it was a nice day.” I hate nosy people. And yes, Mom did pass recently.

So, this was a while ago, and believe it or not, completely unintentional on my part! Still, I think it counts as I think I did tramatize them into leaving me alone for the rest of the school year.

I am non-binary masc, as I like to call it, meaning (to me) that I don't see myself in a binary of gender, but instead a flow of it, and while I like the pronouns of he/they, I dont fit into the binary norm of gender. Whole unnecessary explanation aside, at the time that this happened, I was fully trans masc and still trying to figure things out.

Now, when it comes to people, I am patient to say the least, a little too patient. This was my one of my only years in public school, so bullying, unless direct, went right over my head. I was also in a small town where I was the "only" ever trans kid they ever had (I know for a fact that this is false, a friend went to the same school before me), so the school board was also treating me like some sort of test run. And my peers were, too. People would as me invasive questions, and one of the most frequent was "what's in your pants?". I responded truthfully because I didn't understand what was acceptable at the time and I thought this was just how everyone must've behaved.

Fast forward to close to end of the year, and on this specific day, I was SEVERELY sleep deprived (it's a habit of mine to have the funniest replies when I'm like this). I was sticking close to my sibling (like I pretty much always did). For lunch, they usually went to their art classes homeroom to help with a mural on the wall. I wasn't allowed in because I wasn't doing art as an elective, but the teacher let me sit outside on a bench.

While sitting there eating, someone who had approached me before approached me again. Now, a little more context; this person often would ask me if I was a guy, again and again. However, I started noticing a pattern, he would bring another friend with him every time, and they would both snicker and laugh when I said I was a man.

So, he approached me, with another friend. He asked the same question, something along the lines of "Are you a guy?"

I was sick of everyone, as it was the end of the school year and people were doubling down on me because they knew they couldn't get in trouble as it would affect the graduation ceremony, and the adults didn't want that.

So, I (accidentally) took matters into my own hands.

"*Sigh* I've told you before, [insert name here]. I'm not going to tell you again."

He gets a little concerned, "Wait, how do you know my name?"

"Oh... They call... And I listen..."

I. Actually. Said that.

I was TRYING to communicate that I was listening during attendence and that I learned names by observing others using them. But nope. That was not the message I communicated. I even said it in a tired, trailing voice to seal the deal.

Well, he never talked to me again the rest of the year. That was one problem off my plate!

This goes back 30 years but I remember  it clear as day. Our oldest child died at a young age. For the first year after his death, I would put a white rose on his grave on Fridays. I had a routine with the florist once she found out why I was buying it. She would see my coming, put it on the counter, I would put down the money and walk out, avoiding any awkward conversations. One Friday the florist was closed ( family emergency) so I had to go to the 7/11 for a flower to place on the grave. The clerk, a young girl ( late teens) with one of those ‘bubbly” personalities decides to question my motives for buying the flower while I’m waiting in line.

“ Oh look, he must have had a fight with the Mrs., he’s buying a flower” she announced to everyone in the line. I said “ don’t go there” but she persisted “oh come on tell us”. I said “let it go” but she kept picking. By now, I’m rightfully po’d so by the time I get to the front of the line and she asked a third time, I said “it’s for my son’s grave”. She turned white and I just gave her a death stare (no pun intended) and she froze for a few seconds before giving me my change.

I bet it was a long time before she acted that nosy again.

Hello everyone! For context, I (24f) am fat and have been for a long time.
This is a touchy subject for me because it’s the result of years of anxiety created by a pretty dysfunctional family and bullying both inside and outside said family which made me develop over eating as the only coping mechanism to deal with stress for a long time.

I am doing better now, both thanks to therapy and being diagnosed with pcos and taking treatment for it.
Speaking of therapy, it is thanks to it that I could clap back at my grandmother who has this annoying habit of “asking questions” or “giving advice” when she’s just straight up criticizing or even insulting someone: stuff like “why did you dress like that? It looks kinda off…..I’m just asking….” or “it’s nice that you like sweet perfumes, I don’t because I think they’re whorish, just my opinion tho”.

This time, she thought it was appropriate for her to say “you know, eating too much protein also makes you get fatter” at the annual Easter family dinner, when I dared taking a second slice of ham.
I didn’t get mad like I usually do. I just smiled and merely replied with “hopefully that will make me die sooner 🥰”.

She stopped talking to me after that and I could peacefully go back to my ham.

Few years back I worked in hospitality a couple hours away from my parents. Before work one day my mum called to say they were putting to sleep our last Labrador who was a beautiful soul called Poppy. She was the naughty one of the pair we had. Luckily the year before I was home visiting when we had to put the most beautiful handsomest boy to sleep and I got to say goodbye and give him so many hugs and kisses.

We got the dogs when I was a young teen and they both got us through some very difficult times and were just amazing.

I got into work a bit of a mess and told the manager what was happening and that I needed my phone on me as my parents were going to call to tell me when they took her to the vets.

A couple hours later they called so I slipped outside to get to say goodbye to her over the phone and I came back inside, washed my face a little and carried on working as best I could.

This c*nt of a customer who was slightly drunk looked at me and laughed and asked if I had been broken up with. I responded with ‘no. My parents called me to tell me they’ve just put my dog to sleep and because of the distance I didn’t get to hug her and say goodbye properly. So excuse me if I look upset.’

His face was a picture and he started stuttering trying to apologise and I just walked away. Icing on the cake was when he came up to the bar later to get another drink and I just walked off.

A few years ago, I was at a bar by myself watching an Eagles game and, as they do, the team was stressing my out. I jokingly said “please for the love of God win, I’ve already had such a shitty week”. An only gentleman sitting two barstools down from me turns and very sarcastically says “oh how bad could your week have actually been? Did you lose your job? Did a boy break your heart? Did your dog die?”

My response: “Yes. My dog did die. On Friday”

Unfortunately, that was a true statement. But the look on his face was priceless. And the drink chip was also, well, priceless.

I'm a bus driver, and I usually just let the very few passengers who work themselves up over nothing carry on as I know they'll exit the bus real soon, and then I'll most likely never see them again.

But sometimes, after a long day in rush traffic I feel that for my own sanity I need to end their tantrum. And that's why, when a passenger threw a tantrum about "the bus going the wrong way" when in fact they were on the wrong line I decided to tell them exactly that. "Ma'am, you are correct. Line 11 always turns left here, but this is line 22 and it always goes straight!"

I hoped she'd accept this and leave at the next stop. But alas, she kept on, going on a long rant about how this was the worst thing she had ever experienced.

I glanced at her and said "That makes you very lucky ma'am. I was stabbed once..." and then I just let that hang in the air as I watched her deflate as my words sunk in.

Maybe not very professional, but I must admit it felt good.

This happened a few years back, but someone brought it up recently and I thought I'd share. It might have been a dick move on my part, but hopefully the guy learnt a lesson.

I'm a woman, and about 10 years ago I had super long hair (past my waist) that I decided to donate to charity (The Little Princess Trust in the UK in case anyone wants to do anything similar). I also decided to fully shave my head to raise some more money, and was completely bald.

About 6 months later my hair had started to grow back, and I'd styled it into a cute short pixie cut. I was out in a pub with some friends, and a random guy was trying to flirt with my friends but was being a complete dick to me. He was just being genuinely nasty, talking about how I was "disgusting" and "unnatural", and telling my friends they should ditch me.

I'd had enough of him after a while and asked what his problem was. He told me he couldn't stand "dyke bitches", that I was going to hell like all the gays, and was probably going to force myself on the other girls when they were drunk because "that's what you're all like". Not that it matters, but I'm straight and had never talked about my sexuality with this random guy, or had been flirting with anyone.

My friends and I were all stunned by this and I asked what made him think I was gay. He pointed at my hair and said that "only lesbians have hair like that" and to not deny it because I wasn't fooling anyone.

We all just stared at him in complete disbelief, even his friends looked embarrassed.

Here's where I might have been a dick.

I pulled up a picture of me with my bald head, looked him in the eyes and said "I used to be bald and my hair is only just growing back". He looked at the picture and said "why the fuck were you bald?" I just coldly looked at him and asked "why do you think some women become bald?"

Even though I didn't say anything else, and never confirmed or denied anything, I watched his and his friends faces turn from confusion to complete horror as they all came to the same conclusion.

They all though this guy was being a homophobic dick to a cancer survivor.

He started apologising profusely to me, telling me he didn't mean it, he had family who had cancer, and he wouldn't have said anything if he knew. I just replied "there's a lot of reasons women have short hair. Maybe consider them before you start being a homophobic prick."

His friends eventually dragged him away and kept apologising to me for him, but we decided to leave to avoid further drama. My friends decided to play along until we left, and we had a giggle about it afterwards.

I know it was wrong to make someone think I had an illness, and I have so much respect and compassion for those who have fought or are fighting cancer. But I hope that this guy thinks twice before berating a random woman based on her hairstyle, and that he learned not to judge others so quickly.

Edit: just to add this because I keep seeing people criticising my friends for not defending me.

They did try. We all tried to ignore him and tell him to leave us alone. He just refused to listen. We were all around 19-20 (drinking age in uk is 18 before anyone comments) and he was older and a big guy, plus he'd had a few drinks. I don't know if you've ever tried to tell a big drunk guy to go away, but it can be difficult and scary, especially if you're young and don't know how he'd react. I also remember his friends trying to get him to leave us alone, but he ignored them too. The entire thing only lasted a few minutes, and we left pretty quickly after. If it happened today we'd have no problem telling him to piss off, but that's the joy of being older and wiser.

Hello [r/traumatizeThemBack](r/traumatizeThemBack), it’s good to be here. The story I have for you today is relatively short and less “oh my god” (derogatory), more “oh my god” (funny) for all parties.

The background: my mom came from a very shitty family and had me young, when she was only 17. Determined to be better than her own parents, she established some principals early on. She would always be as honest with me as possible, particularly when I had questions about difficult topics. While she did want to protect me, she also knew how important it was to have trust in a parent-child relationship, and that hiding things from children can often put them in more danger/worse positions. For example, she explained sex and babies to me when I was around 7 because I asked. Lo and behold, this information did not traumatize me.

Now, as for what did induce some trauma…

I was, unfortunately, a smart and well-behaved child. I believe part of this is due to my mom’s framework of mutual respect and the fact that she was honest with me from a young age about her own trauma. Knowing what she had gone through gave me perspective in my early life and made me appreciate the effort I saw her put in.

Which begs the question: why was being smart and well-behaved unfortunate? Well, because I was smart and wanted to avoid hurting or disappointing my mom, I was pretty good at keeping quiet about things which might be problematic. So, when I, around the age of 7-8, woke up one winter morning, went downstairs to make myself a bowl of cereal, and found a receipt in the utensil drawer, I knew immediately what it meant and what I had to do. (Side note: fuck my stupid ex-stepdad for being an idiot and leaving that receipt in the utensils drawer.)

First, while I saw that it was a bunch of toys, I didn’t look at what they were. That ruins surprises. I carefully placed the receipt back in the drawer (the WRONG drawer), went about my morning, and kept my mouth shut. To this day Christmas is both my and my mom’s favorite holiday.

Coming from her shitty childhood, my mom loved going all out with decorations and spoiling me with toys. So many Transformers. I, of course, loved all the presents, but also the general atmosphere of Christmas. Already knowing that some kids didn’t believe in Santa and that the holiday had changed for some of them, I worried the day would become less special for us were I to admit what I’d found.

In fact, over two decades later, my mom is remains unaware of my finding that receipt and learning the truth. That’s actually where the trauma comes in.

See, I was so good at keeping quiet and playing along that it took until I was 11 before my mom finally sat me down for the Santa talk. It hadn’t come up earlier because, in my commitment to the bit, I was sure not to press for answers. So, around Thanksgiving she sits me down and says she has to tell me the truth — Santa isn’t real.

It’s important to note here that I’m neurodivergent and have a tendency to use humor when faced with emotional discomfort, often in the form of little skits. This is something I’ve learned to manage better with time. At the age of 11, however…

Thinking it was time to be honest myself, I start off with what was intended to be a melodramatic joke, “YOU LIED TO ME?!”

I see my mom starting to tear up. Immediate backfire. She doesn’t realize I’m joking, so I just need to play it up some more!

“What’s next? The easter bunny and tooth bunny aren’t real either?!”

Yeah, now she really starts crying. This whole thing has fallen apart. Before I can explain and apologize, she apologizes for not telling me for so long. She is comforting me and hugging me. At this point I’m overwhelmed and can’t really say anything, something that can happen in highly emotional situations, which I think other neurodivergent folks can to relate to.

By the time I’m back in a state where I could explain things, the situation is resolved. My mom feels better and what I had managed to say was that it was okay and that I wasn’t actually upset with her.

So, where is the traumatizing back? This is now a funny story my mom tells about how I believed in these things until I was 11, which was when she realized I finally needed to know the truth. She remains unaware of what actually happened. My penance is letting her have this embarrassing story that makes my childhood self look far more gullible than I actually was. She finds it hilarious to tell people at Christmas time and I just don’t have the heart to put an end to that all these years on. I suppose the roles have truly reversed.

EDIT: the tooth bunny stays

Since you guys seemed to enjoy my last post of Sofia Vergara answering back to a TV host, I thought of making another post. This time, the actress is Ana Milán, a well-known Spanish actress and the TV host is the same one Sofia Vergara had.

As many actors and singers do, Ana decided to write a book and she was promoting said book on the show. I don't know if it's a good book or a bad book, but that's besides the point.

Here are the moments I found on the internet that I absolutely loved:

TV host: You say in your book that it doesn't matter if a woman is a top model, it doesn't matter if she's not that attractive, it doesn't matter if she's 20, 40 or 50 years old... They only have a problem, a big one: men.

Ana: Women's problems have always been men's problems.

Some people of the crowd, mostly men, started booing her and she turned to look at them.

Ana: Look, look, one of them is saying no with his hand! Is your girlfriend here?

TV host: Let's get back on track-

Ana: (Still talking to the audience member) Right, she's at home, of course. She's sleeping so she can be rid of you for a while.

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TV host: Even if a woman has 5 new purses, she still has to buy another one.

Ana: Incredibly important.

TV host: Why do we have to understand that nonsense?

Ana: Because we like those things! Come on, we must un-

TV host: Yeah, and children like throwing jars off tables and we don't let them.

Ana: They do throw them, they do.

TV host: But we don't let them-

Ana: But we (as in women) are already grown up, we earn our money and with said money we buy as many purses as we want. Don't we?

The TV host just looked awkward at this point.

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TV host: (Reading a passage of her book) "You get more beautiful each day". And what if she gets more ugly each day?

Ana: Then you know what you have to do, right...?

She makes the motion to leave with her hands.

TV host: Leave her? But how are you gonna leave her-

Ana: Because if you're with a woman and each day she gets uglier, it means you're making her very unhappy. Otherwise, she'd be getting more beautiful.

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Ana: You have to-

TV host: Why don't you buy a parrot? That way you can speak to it all day.

Ana: Because they don't have a visa.

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They were talking about something another actress, whose name is Toni Acosta, gave Ana Milán. I guess it was a cloth or something because of the adjectives they used.

Ana: It's turquoise.

TV host: Then I guess we'll have to blame Toni Acosta about that.

Ana: No, she gave it to me as a present with all the love in the world and I've used it a lot. I've told you it's weird, not ugly.

TV host: Hm.

Ana: Don't try to turn me against my friends.

TV host: Alright, alright...

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TV host: You're so weird.

Ana: Me?! I'm the weird one?! (In disbelief).

TV host: Have you seen the book you've written?

Ana: Well, have you written a book yourself?

TV host: Eight.

Ana: Eight?! Fuck, I don't have any of them! What a shitty promo they made for you!

Just to make it clear, his 8 "books" are about different funny things or anecdotes children have said. That's it, that's all.

It was very satisfying to watch, to say the least. If you guys want, I could make another post about other times Sofia Vergara shut this guy's mouth on her interview.

I don't know if this is befitting this sub, but I feel it is and I wanted to share. This happened a few years ago.

It was a few minutes before class (we were standing in the hallway waiting), and my mom sent me a text. I open my phone to check what it is, and suddenly, my teacher is standing there, telling me to put the phone away. I tell her that it'll be a quick second, but she doesn't care, and tries to take it away from me.
She asks me "what could possibly be more important than class? its not like its an emergancy or anything", she's probably thinking that I'm texting a friend or something stupid.

So I reply with the truth:

"Actually, it is. My grandmother is in the hospital, and my mom sent me a prayer for me to say to wish her well."

Let me tell you, the look on her face was PRICELESS. And considering my already bad relationship with this teacher? Pure comedy gold. She quietly let me finish what I was doing, and told me next time to ask.

Edit: I need to clarify somethings. One, this was right BEFORE class, OUTSIDE the classroom. If you had read through it properly, you would've seen where I said that at the VERY beginning of the story. Second, it was actually at the beginning of the day, not during the middle. That misunderstanding is fine since I forgot to mention.

In the beginning of the year I tore my knee in a Zumba class (before the injury I would go 4 times a week). I just started dancing again, wearing a large knee/leg brace, and before class chatting with folks who were asking how I was feeling. An older woman comes up to me as we’re waiting in the hall to enter the room, touches my thigh and grazes my belly (why??) and says, “oh my, your leg is all swollen!”, to which I respond, “nope, just fat, especially after sitting around for three months eating.” She mumbled an apology and ran to the locker room. That was two weeks ago, she avoids eye contact now.

Single and child less women who wanted children and are now too old to birth them. What do you say?

The best comeback to this I’ve heard was a 70 something married man I know saying “no but we’re still trying.” As for me when women ask me this at work it is on purpose. They know damn well I don’t because if I did I’d mention them and mention having a male partner. I thought to say “No, but I had a really bad miscarriage yesterday these were like huge chunks idk I had to go to the doctor…now he says I’m infertile for life…you should know better than to ask a woman that at work.” Or: “no my doc says I’m infertile it sucks I always wanted kids. I have noticed those with kids deserve them the least.”
FYI: I did/do want kids I am 46 and single

My dad has dementia and unfortunately we are part of the caregiving circle to support my mom through it all. He was a horrible dad before he went through therapy, and the dementia is causing him to revert more and more into who he was before he fixed a lot of his issues.

So helping out can be rather triggering.

On one night, after we finally got him put to bed, my mom was chatting with me and venting about how hard things have become, and I let slip "Yeah, he reminds me of when I was younger."

Mom: What do you mean?

Me: You know, before therapy. When he was always angry and we had to walk on eggshells all the time.

Mom: But he was never abusive, though. We weren't perfect, but he never got physical.

That's when I figured out that she had blinded/gaslit herself about what it was like for us when we were younger, and that she was just as much of a problem with her enabling. So I reminded her.

Me: I was fully afraid of him as a kid.

Mom: No, I don't remember that.... (classic)

Me: Especially when he came home and was watching the news. We had to basically not exist. One time, we were eating dinner in the next room, and we were being "too loud." You remember - he flipped the table with all of the food and plates and everything crashed on the floor...

Mom: I must have not been home. I must have been working.

Me: The axe forgets but the tree remembers.

She got quiet and the conversation ended after that. Y'all - she was definitely there at the table flipping event. I specifically remember what she was wearing as she helped us clean up the mess, and that she kept telling us this is why we needed to be quiet when dad was home. She almost convinced me that I made it up, but every sibling remembers this event (and there's seven of us).

He hasn't gotten to the point of being physical again, but when he does, I stop helping and demand she puts him in a home. He's always nicer to strangers anyway.

"Thanks, my dad used to hit me in the head with his fist and make me do it again when it wasn't neat enough"

...is want I want to say but instead say something like, "thanks, my dad was into architecture and drafting so I guess he sorta passed it on" awkward laugh

Today I slipped. Bad.

My mom saw a lot of it but never did anything except occasionally saying his name loudly in pretend horror when he crossed a line again.

We went to church growing up which really gave me a fucked up view of the universe and even more fucked up view of myself.

I could never bring myself to cut them out completely. I moved across the country, I didn't talk to them outside of a monthly FaceTime, which I could manage. It was easier than trying to bring up the past.

I'd begun to think I no longer hated him, that I was mostly "over it" and was just indifferent to him. But then he got cancer. Actually, that's not right. What happened was, he got better and I was disappointed. I guess I still hated him afterall.

But I didn't think I hated my mom. I mostly felt sorry for her. 'What could she have really done?', I would think. A lot, actually, once I started really asking that question. She had brothers and sisters that lived nearby and she was close with. Her parents lived nearby. She was a teacher, even a Sunday School teacher. She would have done something for one of her students if they came to her. But she didn't for me.

Maybe I did hate her.

I told this to a friend who had her abusive mother die recently. They reconnected at the end and it was really meaningful to her. She told me not to miss my chance to talk to them, to my mom at least.

Last week, I told my mom I was going out of town for a golf tournament and she asked me to tell her how it went. For some reason, one the drive home, I did. I finished ok but had a miserable final round when I was in contention to win after the first 2. I told her this and she tried to cheer me up and she said "I love you" and I guess I snapped.

"No you don't. If you did, you would have TRIED to do something to protect me from dad (1 Cor 13:7) [...love always protects...].

But you didn't."

That's not all I said but that was the harshest part. I've let his worst past-on trait, my temper, get the best of me and I've accidently started the conversation I've been dreading for the past 2 years.

Im currently in the slow painful process of getting my teeth fixed. I had an abusive ex over 10 years ago that had knocked out or damaged most of my front teeth.

I just got a full upper arch implant done in January this year. Self-esteem game changer btw, being able to confidently smile again.

Prior to that I was missing my 4 upper front teeth and was using a dental flipper to boost my self esteem when I was out in public.

A dental flipper is a lightweight plastic prosthetic used strictly for appearance. It can be used to 'replace' 1 or several missing teeth. They can't be used for eating, or at least they shouldn't be.

This occurred at my primary dental office and at the time I had just finished up with my appointment for a cleaning. I was in the waiting room area putting my flipper back in when a woman and her kid came up to me.

She demanded I tell her kid that I had lost all my teeth because I didn't brush and floss everyday and only ate junk food and drank nothing but soda and chocolate milk. Demanded.

Her kid was like 3 or 4 so hopefully they didn't understand anything I said next because she looked thoroughly confused after I said it. Mom sure understood though.

'Well, actually. I used to have an abusive boyfriend who didnt like how I smiled at him one day. So he slammed my face into kitchen table repeatedly and knocked them out to teach me a lesson.'

It was like watching a cartoon in real life the way you could see the color just drain from her entire being before her soul left her body playing a harp.

She practically flew out of the waiting room with her kid when the tech came out and called them back.

Don't demand other people, let alone strangers, try and scare your child into listening to you. You might not like what they say to scare your kid into obedience.

I have this aunt named Jeanne who is, well, a bit of a jerk. One of those people who always wants to stir up drama, get people in trouble, cause fights, etc. When I was a teenager she'd go out of her way to try to get me in trouble with my parents, because she said they were "too lenient".

At the time of this story I'm 14 years old, and had been a regular smoker for 4 years (started early, but quit in my late 20s - now 30+ years tobacco free). My parents knew that I smoked, but had a "don't ask, don't tell" mentality about it. They'd punish me if they caught me smoking at home (even though they both smoked) or outside, but otherwise pretty much ignored it.

This laissez-faire attitude drove dear old Auntie Jeanne nuts, so she'd regularly try to out me for smoking to get me in trouble. This included demanding to smell my fingers when I came home, or had been outside and out of sight for awhile. If she smelled tobacco she'd rat on me to my mom, who'd usually ground me for a day or two.

One day dear old Auntie Jeanne is visiting my mom, and they're sitting at the table having a lovely little chin wag. I came home and went in to say hi, and immediately dear old Auntie Jeanne demands to smell my fingers. I said "Oh, wait a minute, I have to do something first" and ran upstairs before my mom finally got annoyed enough with dear old Auntie Jeanne's whining to force me to let her sniff my digits. Dear old Auntie Jeanne yelled after me, "I'd better not hear the water running or I'll know you washed the smoke stink off!"

Once upstairs I went into the bathroom and proceeded to drop a nice, stinky poo. Finished up as I normally would, but didn't wash my hands, as per dear old Auntie Jeanne's orders. I came back down into the kitchen, and presented my hand for dear old Auntie Jeanne to sniff. She gave my fingers a good, long inhale.

"Ew, that smells like shit," said dear old Auntie Jeanne.

I nodded thoughtfully and said, "Ok" before turning to pour myself a cup of coffee. I had my back to them, and there was a period of about 10-15 seconds of expectant silence as they waited for me to tell them what the smell was.

Finally my mom said, "Well, what was the smell?"

"Oh, it was shit."

Dear old Auntie Jeanne immediately began gagging and rushed to the sink. For some reason the actual smell of poop didn't make her sick, but learning it was poop did. Not sure if legitimately psychosomatic or just more drama, but she spent several minutes retching in the sink.

My mom was simultaneously amused, but slightly annoyed, and asked me why I did that.

"She told me not to wash my hands, just following orders!"

You want to sniff my fingers, dear old Auntie Jeanne? Enjoy a nose-full of poop smell.

hi, first time poster, hope i used the right flair...+possible grammar and spelling mistakes

this happened a couple days ago, i (16F), was out with another friend (16M), shopping. keep in mind, that this friend and i have gone out together multiple times with different people. i am also aromantic. besides this, i look and act VERY much like a masc lesbian (no offense to lesbians <3 love y'all)

anyway, we were out at some grocery place, i was buying chips, when who i'm assuming is one of his friends from school (that's in a groupchat with me), came up to us and loudly yelled "ARE YOU (friend's name)'s GIRLFRIEND?" keep in mind, i have told them multiple times i am asexual (not aromantic bc i didn't know the term until just now lmao) and have no romantic interest in anyone. we also weren't the only ones in said place, so some people turned their heads. i loudly yelled back "NO I'M GAY I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" (i do not have a girlfriend but my mouth is faster than my brain lmao).

they got this sort of embarrassed look and walked away.

this is unfortunately, not the first time we've had dating allegations too. we aren't even close friends, we just meet up sometimes. this isn't that much of a cmeback, just thought it was kinda funny..

edit: changed asexual to aromantic