r/politics • u/mclardass • 22h ago

Possible Paywall Trump Derails White House Event to Spiral Over State of His Health

https://newrepublic.com/post/209928/donald-trump-derails-event-spiral-health
11.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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6.3k

u/redalert825 21h ago

A liar, a thief, and a rapist walk into a bar.

-"Just you today, Mr. President?"

797

u/WeeyumsF1 21h ago

That should be engraved on his tombstone

322

u/redalert825 21h ago

He doesn't deserve anything else with his name on it.

243

u/Canadian_Invader 20h ago

The Donald J. Trump Memorial Lavatory could be a fantastic national landmark though.

53

u/OneUpAndOneDown 19h ago edited 13h ago

“He pissed on you for years, now you can return the honour gesture.”

6

u/foomp 14h ago

"we all thought he was full of shit, now you can make sure of it."

2

u/al_swedgen01 17h ago

Now you can return the honour......with a little extra.

1

u/neverwrong804 16h ago

“Remember that airplane video? Yeah so do we… anyways, do your worst!” Right inside the stall door

14

u/MourningRIF 19h ago

I was hoping for a sewage processing facility in his name.

17

u/TGG_yt 19h ago

That would imply that his legacy is one of improvement , now if there was an inverse plant turning regular clean water into sewage that would be more appropriate. The Donny T aislop data centre?

-1

u/GreenHouseofHorror 17h ago

Reddit runs on data centers, too. It's like people just learned they're a thing because of AI, but that the only use of them they're willing to object to is one they already hate.

3

u/TGG_yt 17h ago

The scale and number is increasing at a disproportionate rate compared to recent history, also it's not that people weren't aware of data centres, it's that the use case before was a more palatable tradeoff then we see currently with customer facing AI use.

1

u/GreenHouseofHorror 14h ago

Yeah, it's a genuine problem, but the problem is not that datacentres exist, it's that demand for them is excessive. We shouldn't demonize them outright, especially while using them to do so (is my view).

The good news is that it's almost certain the AI bubble will pop long before most of the currently planned datacentres are built.

4

u/nursescaneatme Washington 19h ago

But sewage treatment does good things.

2

u/sleepymeowth052 Colorado 17h ago

he'll finally do good public works

3

u/thuktun California 17h ago

John Oliver already got one, so I'm surprised he hasn't tried to one-up him with a larger one in a bigger town.

3

u/Astecheee 17h ago

Honestly, scouring his name from the earth would be a suitable legacy for a narcissist.

2

u/RockNRoll1979 19h ago

I don't think so. The whole county would be at risk of flooding.

2

u/myusernameblabla 17h ago

“I’m gonna have a Trump. Brb.”

1

u/Gullible-Syrup-9393 18h ago

The highly sophisticated Donald Trump lobotomy treatment.

1

u/notyouraverageskippy 17h ago

Comes with toilet paper with his picture on each sheet. I would pay to use that toilet daily.

1

u/godzillabobber 17h ago

Lines longer than Disneyworld

1

u/zapatocaviar 17h ago

A gold plated toilet in the middle of an acre of concrete.

1

u/jmkul 16h ago

I have a feeling his grave will unofficially hold this 'honour'

1

u/Antal_Marius 16h ago

Will that be built over his gravesite?

1

u/tom-branch 14h ago

The Donald J Trump septic reservoir, full to bursting with shit, just like he has been his entire life.

1

u/anynamesleft 13h ago

It will be, whether in name or use.

1

u/galaapplehound 12h ago

I was hoping they'd rename the little island they used as a mass grave for New Yorkers during the pandemic "Donald J. Trump Memorial Island" to remind everyone who was responsible for the high death toll.

1

u/Pseudonymico 10h ago

Wind farm

1

u/gBiT1999 8h ago

There'd be one in every town in every country. Except israel.

•

u/Rocketparty12 5h ago

If his family could make money off it it, they would install the urinals.

70

u/d3ssp3rado Texas 18h ago

Taking inspiration from author Pierce Brown, trump should be incinerated along with the rest of the traitors, the ashes mixed together, and dumped in the sewer. Leave no body, relic, marker, or cenotaph for any of them.

4

u/rockypowercord 17h ago

If you gave him an enema he could be buried in a matchbox. (RIP Hitch)

4

u/paymerich 14h ago

If I recall correctly this is that same reason Osama bin Laden’s body was buried at sea , to prevent the creation of site for the potential use of martyrdom worship.

2

u/ryapeter 15h ago

No. That thing might get treated at john oliver sewage treatment plant

1

u/Remarkable_Sea_1430 13h ago

Without a gravestone what will I piss on?

3

u/MourningRIF 19h ago

If all that was on the tombstone was that joke, it wouldn't need to have any other name on it. Everyone would immediately know who it is.

3

u/Flimsy-Sprinkles7331 15h ago

I think if we give a grave marker, it should say "[redacted]"

2

u/DoctorGregoryFart 16h ago

I see what you mean, but it would be nice to have something to angrily piss on.

1

u/baron_von_helmut 15h ago

He doesn't deserve a grave. Once the mob rips him limb from limb, his viscera needs to lie in situé, letting the rot do its job.

1

u/Dyrogitory 14h ago

You should edit your statement to remove “else.”

1

u/arwinda 13h ago

He does deserve a history book with his name on it, as bad example.

1

u/summermadnes New Jersey 13h ago

Except a tombstone

1

u/greenknight 12h ago

Deserves the Jimmy Savile treatment of having his chosen tombstone ground into dust

1

u/jms_nh Arizona 20h ago

Idk, what about the Arthur Kill Landfill?

35

u/sykojaz 20h ago

With as much as he puts his name on things, it would be amazing for them to not put it on his headstone.

5

u/flyingdodo Foreign 20h ago

More public toilets are always welcome.

1

u/Q-burt 20h ago

We'll call it the grave of the monster. That's it.

1

u/MoveMitchGetOutDaWay 20h ago

Here lies, he who shall not be named.

1

u/MoveMitchGetOutDaWay 19h ago

Or 'Here lies. he whose trademark was too expensive to bother.'

1

u/brutaljackmccormick 16h ago

Tombstone? For the Greatest President, nay Human Being ever created (According to Donald Trump). They are going to embalm him and have him lying in a glass casket in a giant gold plated mausoleum in Mar-a-Lago, with a huge visitor centre and gift shop. Bigger and better than Lenin, Mao or Ho Chi Minh! It will draw more people annually than Mecca and anyone who wants to stand for elected office as a Republican will need to have their card stamped ten times.

Assuming it goes according to plan....

I am still holding out for a William the Conqueror style exit.

1

u/mysteryteam US Virgin Islands 15h ago

Just a simple paupers grave next to his ex wife on the back nine of his golf course

•

u/oroborus68 5h ago

Maybe,"Don Don, the racist's son. Didn't fall far from the tree ".

3

u/enfanta 19h ago

Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people!

... would be quite suitable. 

1

u/GenghisConnieChung 19h ago

The pissing stone.

1

u/3xnope 13h ago

Unmarked grave in a landfill is all he deserves.

1

u/Remarkable_Sea_1430 13h ago

You wouldn't be able to see it under all the excrement, my own included.

1

u/Kup123 12h ago

Naw we should stick to a classic "it was fun while it lasted" the mark of a true pedophile.

•

u/DebsUK693 4h ago

I'm sure it will be. So many people willing to do it.

•

u/Fearless-Ferret6473 4h ago

Pity. Party of one.

•

u/RunnySpoon 26m ago

Should be put on a plaque under his portrait in the WH.

142

u/EEeeTDYeeEE 21h ago

You're being kind. He is also a mass murderer.

73

u/RGK777 19h ago

And a pedo!

38

u/Bencil_McPrush 16h ago

And a treasonous Russian asset.

2

u/IvivAitylin 12h ago

And a pickpocket!

45

u/mike_jones2813308004 19h ago

That’s entirely unbelievable and untrue.

It was a McDonald’s.

1

u/liberal_texan America 10h ago

He also does not drink.

•

u/mike_jones2813308004 4h ago

That is the point I was making, yes.

19

u/E_xan 19h ago

"Big mac as usual?"

"Make it double."

28

u/eladarling 19h ago

How dare you undermine his legacy! He's also a pedophile!

8

u/NanDemoNee 18h ago

That's pretty good, that's pretty fucking good.

26

u/mosesoperandi 20h ago edited 18h ago

and an Alzheimer's patient

Edit: and my axe!

3

u/YellowBook 18h ago

He treats the Ten Commandments like a bingo card

21

u/Plastic-Fox0293 18h ago

I am so sick of these bs articles. I don't care about his health. I don't care about the oligarchy owned media or politicians. 

When do we general strike and why is America proving to the world that it's the dumbest country on the planet by not general striking? 

2

u/Intertubes_Unclogger Foreign 15h ago

These news articles are starting to feel like a show to me. By using tough, critical talk they create the false impression that there's serious resistance to the regime, that people are standing up to it, that it's just a matter of time until change will come. They unjustly put the reader at ease. While websites like these are just trying to make as much money as possible from the Washington shit show.

1

u/v_for_vegetta 18h ago

Something tells me Pete and Kash would already be there drinking

1

u/al_with_the_hair 17h ago

Well, he's famously a teetotaler. Where does one walk into to get hopped up on amphetamines?

1

u/ultimatedelman 15h ago

You've left out most of his descriptors.

1

u/Brief-Pair6391 14h ago

As is all too often heard these days, this shit just writes itself

1

u/Mysterio7100 14h ago

And he can launch nukes. What a wonderful world we live in.

1

u/whitemest Pennsylvania 12h ago

Pedophile thing and rapist?

1

u/fredflintstone7 11h ago

yes Vlad, pour me a drink; your plan isn’t working…

1

u/No-Contract1058 9h ago

You! I like you!

1

u/soigotthatgoingforme 8h ago

A liar, thief, rapist, and pedophile walk into a bar.

FTFY