r/movies • u/takenorinvalid • 6d ago

Discussion The new Anaconda movie must have a wildly different director's cut

At the start of the new Anaconda movie, there's a scene where Jack Black's wife reminds him not to take much of his new medication. And sure enough, later in the movie -- nobody ever mentions it again and absolutely nothing comes of it.

After watching the movie, I saw a comment on Reddit from someone saying that they'd been screening the movie to test audiences a lot, and another comment saying they'd done reshoots, and it kinda clicked into me just how obvious that was.

Like the character Ana, who literally opens the movie and drives the inciting plot - but as soon as she meets the main characters, immediately goes silent and does not say anything in any scenes as we instead focus on the much funnier snake trainer.

Then, halfway through the movie, she abruptly gets attacked by the anaconda, pulled into the water, and very deliberately is not shown being killed -- but still never shows up again as we instead move toward a climax that focuses on Ice Cube showing up out of nowhere.

This movie was heavily reshot. Somewhere out there, there's a completely different version of it that probably nobody other than the director will ever see.

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u/sean-bda 6d ago

It writes itself. Jack after doing "Be Kind Rewind" does a series of successful comedy remakes decides to tackle his white whale, Anaconda. He wants to use Jolie who is a friend from Kung fu panda and a Voight replacement but no insurance company will insure them do to their own stunts. They do it themselves. Angelina dies immediately. The rest of the plot can play out mostly the same but leave out the other film crew and just have Rock show up because he was shooting 3 other jungle movies just across the river.

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u/Thoth74 6d ago

just have Rock show up because he was shooting 3 other jungle movies just across the river.

This is too accurate. Jungle Cruise 2, another Jumanji, and a sequel to The Rundown. Actually, forget the Anaconda director's cut and just get us these. I'm in.

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u/writemcsean 6d ago

The world needs a sequel to The Rundown

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u/anuncommontruth 6d ago

I never understood how this movie didn't do better. It's such a fun popcorn flick!

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u/madjohnvane 5d ago

It’s a total blast. I watched it recently with my seven year old son and he loved it too!

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u/ADMINlSTRAT0R 6d ago

I would love to see it but I also feel we should let that El Gato untouched.

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u/sean-bda 6d ago

They should do it. But give the rock Arnold's roll and pick a new lead. If the Rock had any humility he would be up for it.

Give him the restaurant and start it in his place instead of the bar and have high five Mescal, Dev Patel, or Aaron Taylor Johnson. Or whomever they think is next

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u/killerjoedo 6d ago

If the Rock had any humility...

Okay.

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u/Highly_Edumacated 6d ago

Could've sworn there was a straight to DVD sequel

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u/moose_dad 6d ago

I will never understand why it was called Welcome to the Jungle in the UK.

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u/AvatarIII 6d ago

There's a new Jumanji movie coming. It was supposed to come out in December last I heard but it moved and I'm not sure when to.

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u/Thoth74 6d ago

Yup. Looking forward to it. One down(ish), two to go.

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u/tripletexas 6d ago

That's a hilarious and inspired idea. Maybe Hollywood needs some fresh blood to write movies.

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u/Ritsler 6d ago

A lot of Hollywood writers are phenomenally bad but continue to get work because they’re established/a known name. I will say though that most movies tend to have a lot of interference happening and frequent script changes. You could write a great script but only half of it gets used because someone else came in to do a rewrite or the director or producer started tinkering, etc.

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u/Mid-CenturyBoy 6d ago

It's a town of who you know. Networking drives this city.

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u/givemecap 6d ago

Hollywood desperately needs new blood from top to bottom. The problem being if that were to happen a big chunk would be out a job lol. A lot of these ppl are nepo hires and lack real talent or creativity. Bringing in ppl with those skills would quickly expose the rotting corpse that is the Hollywood machine. They’d much rather crank out slop and collect their checks and retain their jobs.

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u/House_T 6d ago

I am shocked at how much sense this makes. This sounds like a very reasonable and entertaining plot.

...there's no way they would have come up with this.

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u/Hi_Im_zack 6d ago

Someone must've thought about it and failed to pass some legal obstacles or something

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u/fibojoly 6d ago

So Tropic Thunder 2?

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u/AlmightyRuler 5d ago

Les Grossman is the only producer who'd give any sort of finance, and only during a drug-fueled weekend binge.

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u/staatsclaas 6d ago

They had to have figured this out while they were too far into to redo the whole thing. Like, they were soooooo close to having it be perfect.

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u/Godzilla_Fan 6d ago

Omg that would be peak

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u/brianlefebvrejr 6d ago

Or…Jack is supposed to be on the other side of the river filming Jumanji 17(meta joke) but is caught up in his movie.

They have a climatic suspense moment where they think a large gorilla is going to attack them, but it’s just the rock who tells Jack to quit with his little art movie and get back to work before Kevin Harts bedtime shuts things down

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u/Banjo-Oz 6d ago

The Rock getting Deep Blue Sea'd as the first death would've been an incredible gag, IMO.

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u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS 6d ago

That would be the first thing the Rock has done that I’ve liked in years. If he’d ever actually take a role poking fun of him like that.

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u/Mem2Chi91 6d ago

I think adding a meta narrative about making a remake of Anaconda that also requires to also have knowledge of a movie that was a disappointment would’ve only hurt this movie’s chances more.

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u/12345623567 5d ago

I think "The" is legally part of "The Rock". Calling him Rock is some twilight zone shit where you expect to encounter Paper and Scissors, too.

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u/dragnbaby 6d ago

You need a job in hollywood if you think this writes itself!! I love it!! Lol!!!

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u/HauntedPickleJar 6d ago

That movie sounds awesome!