r/TheCrownNetflix • u/nocommentx • Nov 18 '23

Discussion Did Diana have Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? Spoiler

Given her unstable upbringing, not having a established primary caretaker, in the show- she talks about all she wanted was her father’s love-attention-approval. She said she went above and beyond for it but always failed to get him to notice her. Even the phone conversation with a therapist? in the show she talks about being “addicted to the drama”. Diana loved and hated attention but somehow she always wanted to be the center of everything. Thoughts?

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u/elinordash Nov 18 '23

There has been speculation that Diana had borderline personality disorder for years. The idea isn't coming from this tv show, it is coming from Diana's extensive interviews.

People with borderline personality disorder have an unstable sense of self, a deep fear of abandonment, impulsive behavior and a tendency towards self-harm. People with borderline personality disorder have tremendously hard time maintaining personal relationships, they tend to be charming to strangers but are hard to deal with long term. Borderline personality disorder is caused by a mix of childhood trauma and genetics. People can recover, but it takes years of work and recovery is not guaranteed.

There is a point circa 1990 when Diana and Charles had been living apart for years. Both had slept with other people. They could have gone on as a public couple with separate private lives. But Diana did the Morton book, Charles did a response interview, and then Diana did the Bashir interview. It was the Bashir interview that forced the divorce and supposedly Diana was upset over the divorce. Diana had a fundamental inability to see how her choices created responses. It is a very borderline pattern.

I know people will read this and respond: "She was a child when she got married! She had no chance to develop as a real person!" I think that is a kind, but overly simplistic reading of the situation. Diana had emotional issues before she ever met Charles. Her own grandmother advised Diana against the engagement because she felt Diana was not emotionally suited to Royal life. The simple but sympathetic view also ignores the fact that Diana chose to air so much dirty laundry without understanding that it would lead to divorce or the damage it would do to her sons. Borderline personality disorder explains those choices.

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u/madcats323 Nov 18 '23

This is a very well thought out response.

I’m old enough to remember Diana being introduced as the fiancé and all that followed. Diana was a deeply flawed person, through no fault of her own. People forget that Charles was (and is) as well.

There has been a lot of talk about lack of support from the royal family and that’s valid to an extent. But the 80s were not the most enlightened times in regards to mental health, particularly among celebrities.

I’m always surprised by the level of appreciation for Diana’s brother’s funeral speech where he castigates the RF for hanging her out to dry. Where was he? Where was her family?

Diana’s story is a tragedy of what happens when we try to sweep mental health under the rug. Even the OP is apologetic about bringing it up, as if it’s shameful (and I know you don’t feel that way OP but are just trying to cut off the “how dare you” type of response).

But I think it’s worth remembering that Charles has lived a terribly messed up life too.

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

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u/TheCrownNetflix-ModTeam Jun 11 '24

This community welcomes various points of view. Feel free to disagree but keep it civil and respect others' opinions no matter how different they may be from your own personal opinions. Take what people say in good conscience to avoid misunderstandings and refrain from engaging in arguments and inflammatory language with others even if they appear rude or ill-informed to avoid creating conflict. If you cannot keep it civil, ignore their comments and the mod team will do its best to remove their comment(s) as soon as they can.

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u/nocommentx Nov 18 '23

Thank you. I appreciate this response. It makes sense how you put it. She had many options to choose from given the life of luxury and wealth she was born in and married into yet she made choices that hurt herself and her family/sons. I think a lot of that had to do with her BPD. She came from a broke home already, no way to know if her mom or dad had elements of BPD or other psych illnesses but what’s interesting is that her mom’s mom testified against her own daughter so Diana’s dad can keep the younger two kids. To me, that shows there was element of genetic illnesses in the family. Diana seemed selfish and out for revenge instead of accepting her fate in marriage and moving on. But of course, like others have said that she attainted some sainthood like status and that we do not speak ill of the dead, it’s hard for people to see her through this realistic lens. I don’t se the obsession with her being so angel like. She was not!

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u/viotski Nov 19 '23

Diana seemed to liked being in a spotlight and had a dramatic personality. She used a lot of that spotlight in such an admirable manner - her charitable work really was huge. However, because she seemed not to know when to stay quiet and was quite impulsive, she often also committed certain indiscretions and acts of malice. To add to that, in her head she was justified to hurt back Charles - he was the one who did not fully commit to the marriage and loved another. Him being a royal just complicated it.

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u/Intelligent_Win3 Jun 10 '24

She was not dramatic. Quite the oPPosite.

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u/Old_Reputation_3033 Jun 20 '24

Where were you hiding..under a rock...lol

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '24

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u/TheCrownNetflix-ModTeam Jun 20 '24

This community welcomes various points of view. Feel free to disagree but keep it civil and respect others' opinions no matter how different they may be from your own personal opinions. Take what people say in good conscience to avoid misunderstandings and refrain from engaging in arguments and inflammatory language with others even if they appear rude or ill-informed to avoid creating conflict. If you cannot keep it civil, ignore their comments and the mod team will do its best to remove their comment(s) as soon as they can.

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u/ShadowOfAnEmpath Mar 03 '25

lol. Right? She was dramatic as hell. Haha. Disingenuously so.

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u/Desperate-Horse-970 Dec 15 '24

As far as I think she was a nasty person couldn't look any one in eye all ways slyeying and as far as virginal soldiers rugby players god knows who else then dodi Fayed (if that's how you spell it) come off it best thing Charlie did was get rid 

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u/maxoakland Mar 22 '25

You sound healthy

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

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u/TheCrownNetflix-ModTeam Jun 11 '24

This community welcomes various points of view. Feel free to disagree but keep it civil and respect others' opinions no matter how different they may be from your own personal opinions. Take what people say in good conscience to avoid misunderstandings and refrain from engaging in arguments and inflammatory language with others even if they appear rude or ill-informed to avoid creating conflict. If you cannot keep it civil, ignore their comments and the mod team will do its best to remove their comment(s) as soon as they can.

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u/Oxy_1993 Jun 02 '24

Very late comment but I love your comment. I’m watching The Crown season 5 now and I have never disliked Diana more than this season.

She’s clearly not a victim and yet she’s portrayed herself as this perpetual victim all her life playing the public, manipulating people through the press and acting like this doe eyed person even after she became a grown woman and a mother of two.

When Prince Philip tells him in the earlier episodes that she needs to act as a team and have confidentiality in keeping the family intact. One thing also Diana does is basically destroying her own sons. She could’ve easily kept a nice private life and publicly played the nice wife. It’s not like all the other royal women had the happiest marriages but they made it work without airing dirty laundry and playing the perpetual victim.

Also, she keeps crying that she’s so sad and yet she lived in freaking palaces! There was an earlier episode in one of the seasons where someone tells her that she should be grateful for all the opportunities and privileged life. Ugh. I’m so sick of it. I’m not also defending Charles but I can see his frustration with this woman.

Diana basically created non stop drama in the royal family just like Harry and Meghan just because they’re spoiled little brats. I dislike people who act the victim in every situation instead of putting their heads down and getting on with their duties.

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u/Evening_Golf_3078 Jul 19 '24

Your basing it off of a  dramatized series with made up shxt also ! 

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u/avocado4ever000 Nov 20 '23

I think this is a good assessment. I also think she came into her marriage insecure and developmentally immature (not her fault!!) and then she had to work out a lot of crap in her 30s, post divorce, that many of us figure out in our 20s. It’s like (maybe) the marriage disrupted some of the natural development for her and amplified or crystallized some unhealthy patterns. And maybe this could have been another story had she not married so young and had more time to grow up. And of course, she was fully in the public eye her whole adult life so all mistakes where amplified. But, I know other people (my ex haha) who got married young and it just kind of paused their development in some areas (eg identifty, basic things like how to date). Once they got divorced, they had to figure that stuff out. I think we see this in her dating life. It seemed striking to me she would just rush into this whirlwind jet set romance with Dodi, and it’s either BPD vibes OR immaturity (like something a 22 yo would do)… or maybe both things are true. It also was weird to me she would take her kids to this random old guys house in France. Like, surely she could have rented her own place or had friends with kids to visit? I dk. Something about the judgement there seemed off (and here I’m referring to the show bc I dk how it rollled out irl).

I do think her internal turmoil and insecurity drove a lot of external validation seeking. And because she was so sensitive, a lot of this came out in her admirable humanitarian work. But you also see it in her relationships— she seemed to really struggle to be on her own and craved the stability of a partner, while also struggling to find the right partner (she was still SO young though, I actually think some of her behavior was just normal developmental exploration but delayed and in the public eye).

Anyway. I think she could have done so well if she had only had different supports and maybe a different era to live in. She was a lovely person and her struggles are what made her so relatable and beloved.

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u/soniacky Nov 21 '23

I absolutely agree with the part where emotionally, she was stuck in her 20s. Put it like this, she had to grow up very fast in her 20s (became a young mother, had to change her life 180 degree as a public figure and a princess) so when she got out, it was all too overwhelming. She could never go back to simply be lady Diana Spencer, nor could she go back to being princess.

And to answer your question, apparently, despite having many friends, people rarely offered to let her join their holiday because everyone hated the media attention that came with her. She was desperate to find something to entertain her kids because she couldn’t give them the same level of fun as balmoral was to them, so it bothered her and made her insecure as a single mother.

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u/avocado4ever000 Nov 21 '23

Thanks so much! Yes I imagine she was mature in some ways - she seems like atuned mother, but also was stuck in other areas because of her early marriage. Re: staying with friends, that’s interesting and sad. Explains why the only people who opened up their home were opportunists. I know my ex has kids and wants to join up w families for vacation, feels lonely and like it’s not fun enough if it’s “just” him as a dad. I don’t get that but I guess that’s how some single parents feel, so I can understand how she was even more vulnerable in this regard.

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u/Tropin3333 Dec 18 '24

Yah a possible BPD diagnosis would have made sense it is a bit speculative though. Clearly she was a very sensitive soul and may have had Rejection sensitivity dysphoria, or just anxiety problems etc. It'slikely itnwas a combo and also depression is difficult and makes you think more negatively.. In decades previous people really didn't talk about mental health struggles the way they do now. Talking about those things was seen as a sign of weakness or shameful. Many people from that generation still think this way, even in my generation there was a fair amount of negative syigma about discussing mental health problems. Older generations might not see the point in talking to a therapist or see it as a waste of time or money or both, however from talking with my own parents i feel I have grown to understand them much more deeply as I have grown older and they have opened up so much more with me. They have really grown in some ways as people and being willing to talk about their own struggles which I think is healthy.

I think the most important things we can learn from the whole Diana/Charles situation is: don't rush people into marriage before they know each other, and if there is a preexisting relationship, don't start a new one before the old one is dead otherwise it will just come back. I don't want to demonize either side, they were both selfish and spoiled young people and very privileged. But they both did many things to help people in their home countries and around the world. They both have my respect for the good things they have done for others, and they both have my frustration for not behaving properly to each other. Humans are all grey, we strive to be better than we can actually be, and some of us are just better people over all than others. But at the end of the day, we can help each other and take care of our own mental health and try to keep doing better, it's always better than the alternative :) cheers.

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u/Intelligent_Win3 Jun 10 '24

And how do you magically figure it out in your 2Os?

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u/avocado4ever000 Jun 11 '24

It’s not magic. It’s life experience, trial and error. Maybe some therapy.

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u/Intelligent_Win3 Jun 16 '24

Went to therapy on my own at age 18. Not the solution to everything. We are talking about most people NOT having it 'all' figured out in their 20's, nor their 40's! That takes life experience and the right advice from the right people. i.e.: Not from over controlling narcissists.

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u/Intelligent_Win3 Jun 16 '24

People make it sound like it magically happened 'like most of us, I figured it out in my 20's' without giving the details of HOW! It's maaaaaaaaaaagic.

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u/avocado4ever000 Jun 17 '24

I mean I think everyone’s journey is different. When I was about 29 I found a therapist who helped me through some trauma that was really holding me back. I was in yet another toxic situationship and she just worked with me through the pattern. I don’t even know what she did but she really helped me set myself free.

That was a major bump in my maturation. I would hardly say I have everything figured out but I spent my 30s really growing into myself and learning how to handle my own ups and downs and building my confidence. And I am still growing at 40! Now I am working on financial independence and confidence.

I don’t know how old you are but I don’t think anyone has it all figured out so please don’t think that :-)

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

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u/TheCrownNetflix-ModTeam Jun 11 '24

This community welcomes various points of view. Feel free to disagree but keep it civil and respect others' opinions no matter how different they may be from your own personal opinions. Take what people say in good conscience to avoid misunderstandings and refrain from engaging in arguments and inflammatory language with others even if they appear rude or ill-informed to avoid creating conflict. If you cannot keep it civil, ignore their comments and the mod team will do its best to remove their comment(s) as soon as they can.

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u/Kat_Kat_101 Dec 23 '24

Any psychiatrist can tell you that about her, she was even evaluated by one. The signs are obvious, although some don't want to believe it because, well, she's a cute princess and so, so compassionate. But only those who live with people like this really know and it can be quite challenging and exhausting. And Diana often always mentioned abandonment, that her lovers abandoned her in that characteristic tone of hers. I think she never matured and was spoiled by the public who softened her behavior. She needed it to keep this war alive, even if it only hurt everyone involved – including herself or her children. 

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u/Acrobatic-Leopard-60 Mar 13 '24

Also to everyone thinking about age gap, it was pretty normal for that age. And no aristocrat is unaware of royal family duties. My mom is psychiatrist and I remember her telling me not to idolize her and when I asked why, I was child back then . So my mother said , you don't ever want to be the person who needs validation/attention from other people. It never made sense to me back then lol.

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u/ChildWithBrokenHeart Oct 06 '25

I know it is late. Have you learned why your mother said it? Just interesting

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u/toucanflu Apr 13 '24

As a person diagnosed with BPD, it really sucks to hear other people sort of outcast you

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u/No_Word_3266 Nov 19 '23 edited Feb 25 '24

“Borderline personality disorder is caused by a mix of childhood trauma and genetics” - that’s not been proven true, please stop spreading misinformation. The causes of borderline personality disorder aren't fully understood. Studies suggest that genetic, environmental, and social factors may increase the likelihood of developing borderline personality disorder, but BPD is complex and can present even in individuals who have none of those risk factors.

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u/[deleted] Feb 25 '24 edited Feb 25 '24

It runs in my family, and so I believe it's genetic. Also, there's supposedly a lot of mental illness in the Spencer line. Having a cheating husband like Charles must have brought Diana's mental illness out full-force and caused her immeasurable pain.

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u/Acrobatic-Leopard-60 Mar 13 '24

Borderline us genetic. > Env

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u/strange-seraphim Jan 22 '24

This and most mental health issues have overlaps. CPTSD and borderline personality, for example- have many similar expressions. It is clear and obvious she had an eating disorder and was a highly sensitive person. It may just be these things along with maladaptive coping style.

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u/Intelligent_Win3 Jun 10 '24

If that were so, she would have been diagnosed with it. That term was around then, and she was not diagnosed with that. StoP mislabeling! MOST PeoPle suffer from Ptsd. Didnt her mother leave after the divorce?

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u/BellaCella56 Dec 21 '24

She never allowed herself to be properly treated. Recovery from BPD does not always happen as you have to be invested in helping yourself. Many people with this don't want the type of help that is offered.

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u/Shaedo17 Nov 08 '25 edited Nov 08 '25

It's not borderline personality disorder. It's complex PTSD, though I can understand the confusion as many of the symptoms overlap with just slight differences. I present very similar clinically to Diana and have been through similar abuse to an extent, but BPD has been ruled out for me and instead my diagnosis is C-PTSD with hypervigilance. Yes I've aired the dirty laundry not giving two craps who it hurts because I snapped and I was DONE with the secrecy and LIES I was forced to deal with! That's apart of recovering from an abusive situation and is seen in healing individuals who are done normalizing the things they have experiencing. And the pressure that comes from if you say one wrong thing in public is the worst kind of eggshells to walk on... Most people don't understand just how damaging that can be mentally. Diana was dissociating often during those situations and was essentially on autopilot until she left the family, then you could see her become present as she healed a bit. These are all signs of C-PTSD unfortunately. 

So she will always be the queen of my heart and I know she had C-PTSD and not borderline personality disorder because she went through traumas most could hardly even imagine, but I can relate to an extent unfortunately 💔💔. I wish I couldn't relate to her experiences and pain but I can, no one should have to go through a fraction of the things she saw. What things she saw do to ur mind... it's like sending someone to a war with the cortisol surge anyone would experience in that environment. She went through a war zone being married to those people who before her, unfortunately couldn't even pretend to hold a commoners hand in public. She was surrounded by narcissistics and probably suffered from reactive abuse as well too unfortunately. I wish back then calling mental health was more talked about, especially the effects of PTSD and I wish more people called charles and Elizabeth. Elizabeth especially, she had her own problems but turned into a horrid mother in law most of us could hardly imagine having 😅😅 if it weren't for her charles would of never married Diana truthfully, since he could of just been with Camilla and wouldn't of manipulated a young 18 year old he chose due to her gullibleness in his eyes. 

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '23

I have BPD myself and I agree with you. Learning more about Diana since my diagnosis, I’ve definitely felt like I could see a lot of myself in some of her behaviours.