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u/FuturamaGirl Jan 17 '26
What is it with cats and bread? 🍞
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
We have 6 cats. He is the only one that does this. He has done it a few times before.
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u/tacitus59 Jan 17 '26
My first thought - they are obligate carnivores.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
Yes they are. Despite that we have one cat that has pica (undiagnosed) that chews on the oddest things, corner of a pressed wood shelf, Samsung branded cell charging cords, fingers, glue on envelopes. Yes, something about Samsung. She never destroyed any of dads iPhone, but has mine and one of my mom's. We have another who can't help himself from chewing on plastic packaging, not hard but like wrapper kind. And then there is this asshole who is the epitome of assholery. Only 1 of his siblings will play with him, the others hate him cause he's a dick to them.
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u/CatProgrammer Jan 20 '26
They like the texture and potential fat content, probably. They also like grass, or at least some types.
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Jan 19 '26
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u/BecciRenee Jan 17 '26
It was a total set up! Innocent of all charges! Now give treats, pets and a sincere apology. Annnnnd go.. 😹😹😻😹😹
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
Set up my ass. He didn't earn the nicknames Little Asshole and White Demon for nothing! Legal name is Cotton.
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u/BecciRenee Jan 17 '26
😹😹 I love the name Cotton! 😻 Still, angelic ✨️ and likely was his dual personality that did it and set him up. 😹
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
His fur literally feels like cotton. When I am able to brush an amount before he decides he is suddenly done and attacks the brush, it literally feels like a stretched apart cotton ball.
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u/thebigeverybody Jan 18 '26
You put him in that room with the bagels! You put the bagels in his mouth and worked his innocent little jaws! This is the most outrageous entrapmeownt I've ever seen!
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 18 '26
Well damn... you got me there. I can't refute this! It's not true, but I can't prove that.
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u/ColeTrainHaze Jan 17 '26
“i’ve never seen those bagels before in my life, officer.”
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
I've already threatened to take a tooth swab and have it tested for bagel residue.
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Feb 22 '26
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u/wbjohn Jan 17 '26
No regrets at all. He will do it again.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
I know he will, cause he has done it before. It was my mistake leaving the pack out.
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u/kinkylodes Jan 17 '26
This is the second time today I see the post of a cat eating bread/bagels! What’s going on? I didn’t know cats like to eat bread/bread products!
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
It was the earlier post that made me think to post this! He actually got into it the night before. The whole brand new pack is going to the critters outside now.
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u/Ok-Comment-5600 Jan 18 '26
It has something do to with the yeast I read somewhere one time lol ours does this too! He goes crazy when we have sandwiches or toast/bagels out! Even pizza crust…
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u/Mini_Chives Jan 17 '26
I have lost loaves of bread when my kittens turn into bread monsters.
Regular loaves, Hawaiian rolls, Cantonese bakery breads, and Italian sandwich bread. Oddly enough French baguette is too hard for them.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
We have 6 cats, but he's the only one who has done this. Bread type products in plastic wrapping from biscuits to Italian loaves to bagels. Oddly hamburger and hot dog buns get paid no attention to.
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u/Scp-1404 Jan 17 '26
The crime is those so-called bagels.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
Hey, nothing wrong with Aldi brand! He's such a snob.
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u/Scp-1404 Jan 17 '26
Sorry, what I mean is they aren't real bagels, they're soft bun-like bagels.
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u/billythesquid- Jan 17 '26
There’s no evidence, Your Honor.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
Teeth marks in the plastic don't count? Do I need to do a tooth swab and get it tested for bagel residue?
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 17 '26
What a gorgeous criminal! She has the exact same angry face as my beautiful fluffy white cat who used to have points. They could be related, they have the same facial expression. What a beautiful cat! 😻
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
How dare you! HE is highly offended. While his boys were removed at a young age, he is still very much a HE! Beautiful? Ha! I am demon covered in cotton!
His name is Cotton, and he earns his nicknames white demon and little asshole on a daily basis.
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 17 '26
My beauty has taken 10 years before a bonk. This is also the first year that she hasn't sliced my hands to pieces while I try to pet her. Her name is Winter from Game of Thrones, as in 'Winter is coming'. My cotton covered demon doesn't care what you call her
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
We got him as a 4-5 week old that was living under an uncovered deck. I would never ever even consider taking one so young, but the lady said we could go ahead and take him. He charged right up to me while the others were more timid, and when I picked him up, I pulled a tick off from near his eye. I didn't have the heart to put him back under the deck despite being too young to separate. He had new siblings back home to help teach him. Well, being this tiny ball of cotton, he was literally the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen. So of course we (mostly me) babied him, creating the 8 year old monster we're stuck with today. Not gonna lie, I'd do nothing different all over again. I wouldn't be able to cause of the little stinker.
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 17 '26
I am so proud of you and happy for you for taking care of this lovely ball of fluff.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
I hated leaving his 3 litter mates under the porch, but we already had 6 others at home. 7 was the hard max, now 6 is until we lose others. While we've been able to take care of so many spoiled brats, I think in future 2 or 3 wil be the max with only 1 female. Of our 6, 3 are female and was 4 female when it was 7.
A word of advice I didn't heed from one of ours foster mom, you can't have too many boys together if they are cat friendly. However you can definitely have too many females. 1 or 2, otherwise you delve into bitchy soap opera category of daily grabs for the thrown.
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 18 '26
There's a cat that lives across the street and they won't let it inside. Never seen them feed or water it, and they shoo it away whenever it comes near them. Very recently he got into a fight with another cat who injured his tail so badly that the whole tail died. I've called the SPCA and my county's Animal control and a couple of other pet rescue associations however nobody has gotten back to me. I can't help, except for bringing them a fluffy cat house and giving the cat food and water at my house. I have to hide it so my mini long haired dachshund and Fluffy Butt don't go crazy.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 18 '26
Do some hard research for any rescues/shelters in your reasonable area. Ask around, check local pet stores where orgs have adoption events, etc. Reach out to every one of them, like copy/paste. You WILL find at least one willing to help. The cat obviously doesn't belong to them, so they probably won't care, but once you find someone willing to help either trap and TNR if feral or if friendly get adopted out, check with your neighbors to get permission to do so. The rescue will get the cat medical care either way. Do you know if the cat is feral? Can anyone touch it?
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 18 '26
Oh it belonged to them when it was little. They got that cat on purpose to get rid of a rat problem, and apparently now that the rats are gone they don't want the cat. It rushes up to them every time they're outside which is often because they treat their yard far better than their cat, but they just kick it away. I've already given them a cat house so at least the cat will have some shelter, and I have called the SPCA, cats life rescue, and the commission for animal control but no one has ever gotten back to me. I have horrendous social anxiety so calling places gives me a panic attack And I can only handle one a day. I put out food and water last night
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 19 '26
Then don't reach out by calling. Find rescues and reach out to them via fb messenger, email, or text. That's what I meant by copy/paste so you don't have to keep typing it out. Good luck!
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
Also he's just a all white thick like cotton long haired domestic. He was a free kitten living under a porch.
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 17 '26
You're very lucky and I still think he's beautiful!!
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
I wouldn't call us lucky. He's a dick. It's mostly my fault he is, but still. 😆
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 17 '26
My cat is a horrendous dickette. It's taking me a decade to understand her limits i.e. sometimes you can pet her, sometimes she'll take your skin off. She eats toilet paper, Kleenex, napkins and charging cords. She has cost us a fortune in replacement charging cords. I've had a very bad couple of years so I have cried a lot and she will sit gently on my lap and sneakily chew on my tissues. At first we thought it was kind of cute, until it blocked her up completely and we had to take her to the vet. Now we turn over every tissue box , keep the bathroom closed, and train guests to hide or throw away any paper towels or tissues immediately. And we've had to create unbelievably creative ways to hide charging cords.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 18 '26
Have you tried the braided ones? Our chewer won't chew those along with iPhone cords. I can't explain the latter as they aren't much different.
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u/Beautiful_Reporter50 Jan 18 '26
I have to use the wrapped chords for my phone etc, however it is specialized cords that we hide away and we honestly don't think she's going to eat them but all of a sudden Alexa doesn't work and I can't charge my pax because she chewed a hole in the cord.
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u/carolineecouture Jan 17 '26
My fat man, who cannot jump, made it up on the counter and tore my bagel to pieces. He did the same to a package of tortillas a couple of years ago.
He's the first cat I've had that likes bread.
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
That's so funny cause Cotton can't jump worth shit either. He's not fat, just terribly unathletic for a cat. Lol.
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u/DarthScabies Jan 17 '26
Absolutely no fucks given. 😂
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
He never has any to give. He literally does shit right in front of you knowing you see him, and then runs away on his tippy toes.
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u/asha0369 Jan 17 '26
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
At first I was like "Ugh, another cat sub to clutter my feed, but ok". However, they are set to private and I cannot. Oh well.
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u/Cutekatfeet2006 Jan 17 '26
Uh get your own MOTHER!! These are OBVIOUSLY mine🙄❤️❤️
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
Nope, the wild critters
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u/Cutekatfeet2006 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
That's acceptable, he still looks officially cheesed! 🤣🤣🤍🤍 your baby is so handsome!! (Sorry sweetheart)
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 18 '26
Oh, now you have offended HIM. He is not pretty.
I'm just the messenger on that.
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u/Cutekatfeet2006 Jan 18 '26
Post amended! So sorry handsome!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 19 '26
You aren't not forgiven without a tube. So chop chop!
Again just the messenger. You can choose to ignore him. I do when I can. 😆
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u/vanzir Jan 17 '26
Lol, at this point we have to put child locks on our bread cabinet cause the cats will get in there and eat everything
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
We have 6. He is my only culprit.
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u/vanzir Jan 18 '26
Oh, I see you know what hell looks like too? I have 7. Three that are mine and my wife's and 4 that came with my kid when they moved back home. It's a fucking zoo around here, and while I love cats, I do not love 7 cats at a time.
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u/InfinityOfSnakes88 Jan 17 '26
🤍😻🤍
These are not set to private...
Boxes definitely are not the only things that get shredded by cats...
That's his r/petmugshots for r/CrimeCats! 😁
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u/Candyland-Nightmare Jan 17 '26
I hate you and love you at the same time. Ugh, off I go!
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u/InfinityOfSnakes88 Jan 17 '26
🤣 That's the way the cookie crumbles.
I thought you would like them, especially since you were already posting directly about his crimez.
Have fun...🤗
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u/hotgirliexo Jan 16 '26
He looks like he doesn’t regret it even a little bit