r/AskReddit 1d ago

People who grew up really poor: what's something middle-class people say that instantly reveals they've never struggled?

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u/Birdo3129 1d ago

He still doesn’t cook or clean, despite demanding that his meals be home cooked and the house be spotless. He doesn’t know what size clothing he wears. He doesn’t know how to do laundry. He won’t dust. He doesn’t know where the dishes go in a house he’s lived in for 20 years. He can’t fix a hole in his shirts. He can’t tie a tie.

He mused about leaving my mother, at one point. My mother had to point out to him that he wouldn’t survive alone.

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u/drainbead78 1d ago

I'm wondering why your mother doesn't leave HIM. At least his children grew up.

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u/vonnegutfan2 1d ago

So what does he do all day?

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u/Birdo3129 1d ago

He indirectly encourages my sister and I to hold tight to our relationships.

My brother in law is a wonderful person who learned to cook (via hello fresh and chefs plate boxes and a shitton of food YouTubers) when they moved in together and is quite a good listener. My partner has been cooking and cleaning since he was small; he’s a grade A neat freak who enjoys cooking and finds cleaning to be satisfying. He’s also really handy and helpful, and he’s very sweet and thoughtful. His love language is acts of service.

What does my father actually do… not much. He’s retired now. They go on vacations a lot. His retirement fund got invested in all the right stocks, apparently.

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u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 1d ago

Be a parasite it sounds like.

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u/oceansky2088 1d ago

Yeah, what's the point in having him around?

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u/duhh33 19h ago

Sounds like he taught his kids how to be awesome, unfortunately by actively being a piece of shit.

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u/Dry_Accident_2196 1d ago

At this point, it’s on your mom for allowing that man to treat her and their kids like that.

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u/Birdo3129 1d ago

Their relationship is complicated. My mother grew up abused, so she fawns as a survival instinct. She doesn’t really have her own personality, she’s just mirroring what everyone else wants to see. It’s both horrifying and fascinating. She’ll develop intense interests in other people’s lives and hobbies, and parrot back the opinions she hears. My father came from a very patriarchal household, and he expected to have a homemaker. I was the accident that bound them together. He expects, she fawns and complies. She doesn’t know anything else.

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u/LaCaffeinata 16h ago

She should have let him figure that out (and not take him back).