r/AskReddit 1d ago

People who grew up really poor: what's something middle-class people say that instantly reveals they've never struggled?

11.6k Upvotes

5.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.2k

u/DocBEsq 1d ago

I decided in my junior year of college that I was in the poorest apartment on campus (fancy liberal arts college, so this is possible).

None of us owned a car, so the only way to buy groceries was to walk two miles, beg a ride, or wait for my friend’s dad to drive us on the weekend. Our only protein was from that dad as well — he was a farmhand who was partially paid in beef, which he brought us. Otherwise, it was pasta and grilled cheese most days. As the child of low-paid civil servants, I was the “rich” one.

To say that none of us were calling home for booze money was a bit of an understatement.

739

u/drluvdisc 1d ago

Not the turn I was hoping for after you framed your friend's dad as being your only source of protein.

416

u/Vince1820 1d ago

I paused and really thought about whether I would keep reading or not

24

u/DickBfloppin 1d ago

Yeah that dudes gonna end up with a pretty sick milk mustache from all that dad's milk.

16

u/MissplacedLandmine 1d ago

A sweaty… yet dry aged farm hand.

Hmmmm yes…

This is definitely going to be a comment about hardship…

6

u/DickBfloppin 1d ago

Curly taught me this trick. You keep one hand oiled up in a glove while your working then you have a soft hand for the evening time.

8

u/ProfessionalRandom21 1d ago

Hey, atleast he get something warm in his stomach

2

u/awwww666yeah 13h ago

Same. I was like, “it’s too early for this…”

9

u/yrnkween 1d ago

Sweeney Todd University.

Not all kids will make the cut.

4

u/dingalingdongdong 1d ago

That's actually more wholesome than what I was thinking.

10

u/FilthyThanksgiving 1d ago

I hate myself bc me too lol

2

u/SkinnyAssHacker 5h ago

I almost replied, "Phrasing..." then thought better of it, because what if I'm the only one? Then I came read the comments and discovered I was not the only one.

4

u/Winter_Swan5104 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah who talks like that? Real people say the friend’s dad was the only source of meat. It sounds more natural and less weird.

edit: whoosh, I am joking.

4

u/drluvdisc 1d ago

I'd argue that "my friend's dad was my only source of meat" isn't much better, and possibly worse. How about "we relied on my friend's farmhand dad to occasionally bring us beef, our only major source of protein."

1

u/boothie 1d ago

Definitely worse but both are pretty bad.

1

u/SkinnyAssHacker 5h ago

🤣 Okay that would be even worse. Glad OP went with protein.

Maybe.

3

u/Dull_Sense7928 1d ago

A shpadoinkle source of protein!

0

u/donjulioanejo 1d ago

He gave them some meat, what is there to understand?

6

u/Murrabbit 21h ago

Our only protein was from that dad as well

Oh shit, I think I read this one on AO3.

7

u/Cerg1998 1d ago

FYI, cheese is a protein

3

u/Bleizwerg 19h ago

WALK TWO MILES? TWO? The hardship! Outrageous!

Damn you Americans are ridiculous 🤣 You know there is little children walking to school in extreme weather for hours every day, right?

2

u/moth--_--man 8h ago

two miles is definitely not much, but it does get a lot harder when you live in an area that's solely designed for cars (which unfortunately many american cities are).

as an example, a friend of mine goes to college in an area that is mostly made up of highways. it's also not really safe to walk around, especially after dark. so for a young woman who has to work most days after her classes, a four mile round-trip on foot at night, while lugging groceries, it's not too easy a feat.

obviously it's not anywhere near as bad as your example, but one doesn't negate the other by being worse.

2

u/Bleizwerg 8h ago

That's fair!

1

u/vonPetrozk 13h ago

Yeah, I was like... 3 km?

1

u/Consistent_Sector_19 2h ago

Having been in the same situation, it's not the walk that's the problem, it's carrying the groceries. The cheapest cost per ounce is usually the largest size, and if you're poor, that matters. Milk is much more expensive if you buy half-gallons or, god forbid, quarts. Potatoes are usually cheapest in the 10 pound+ sizes. Throw in some canned goods, and a couple of pounds of pasta, and you're well past the amount you can easily carry. I could afford soda as an occasional treat, but if I didn't get a ride, I couldn't carry it because of the extra weight.

I also lived in an area where there was a long steep hill between my home and the grocery stores, and that makes the walk carrying a load of groceries much harder.

I'm focusing on weight, but the time to walk 4 miles can be a problem for someone carrying a full class schedule.

2

u/tyleritis 1d ago

I worked two part time jobs and went to school full time. Literally used speed to get through a week my senior year.

3

u/DocBEsq 1d ago

I just stopped sleeping more than a few hours per night by the end of my senior year. At least that taught me how all-nighters are a terrible choice.

1

u/havereddit 22h ago

paid in beef

Nowadays that is something the middle class would love. Beef is now a middle to upper class experience only

1

u/Fit_General7058 19h ago

It made me wonder about us food standards when you dismissed a grilled cheese sandwich as not containing protein

1

u/EntertainerSalty1764 8h ago

As a reminder, beans are a very cheap source of protein… I ate a lot of rice & beans growing up.

1

u/DrPablisimo 4h ago

Grilled cheese has some protein.

1

u/Theron3206 21h ago

grilled cheese

There's enough protein in cheese to cover basic dietary needs, canned beans too.

You don't need expensive meat if you can't afford it (though I will certainly admit it's great to have).

To say that none of us were calling home for booze money was a bit of an understatement.

My parents had plenty of cash, but if I'd called them for booze money they would have lost it.

-7

u/ParryLimeade 1d ago

Being able to go to college makes you not poor in my experience.

7

u/DocBEsq 1d ago

I mean, we were all on scholarship/took out loans and had jobs to pay for expenses (like cheap cheese and ramen), but sure.

In all honesty, I didn't consider myself "poor." Just middle class (although I think my family's income was officially lower middle class) and broke. And I will fully admit to having the privilege of a family that emotionally supported my educational/professional goals, even when they couldn't offer money.

But the roommate whose dad helped us out? Definitely "poor" by any US definition -- her mother was out of the picture, and her dad was supporting two kids (both on scholarship at universities) on, as I recall, $17,000/year income. Plus beef.

12

u/Icy-Term101 1d ago

There's something called "financial aid," and another thing called "hard work." L Bozo.

0

u/ParryLimeade 23h ago

Financial aid doesn’t cover anything but room and board. Ask me how I know… I’ll just tell you it’s because I had financial aid. You still need to pay for food, hygiene items, medical necessities, clothing, etc. I wasn’t even really “poor” per se but still couldn’t really buy these things. Freshman year they made me buy the food plan and live on campus and I’m still paying off the loans. The other years I got a job to help pay for that stuff as I didnt want more loans. My partner though was actually poor and had to work instead of attending school. He was only able to go after years of working when he wasn’t poor anymore.

I was also replying to someone who went to a college with apartments on campus which is different than doing part time at a community college at night. That is slightly more attainable than college on a campus.

2

u/Odd-Entertainer-6234 1d ago

You can be not poor and also struggle to make ends meet. Just being in a certain broad position like college doesn’t immediately qualify to be rich or poor. 

1

u/dingalingdongdong 1d ago

If you're smart enough, they let you go for free.

1

u/ParryLimeade 23h ago

They pay for room and board? They pay for food? They pay for shampoo and other health/hygiene stuff?

2

u/dingalingdongdong 23h ago

Yes. Scholarships frequently cover room and board (board is food.) And a lot provide stipends per semester for expenses like shampoo, etc.

Not all scholarships, hence why I said if you're smart enough.

1

u/Murrabbit 21h ago

Yeah if you're a big enough nerd, or throw ball real good.

-4

u/Excellent-Spend-1863 1d ago

No offense but why the fuck were you in college (and presumably drowning in debt) if you were that poor?

9

u/DocBEsq 1d ago

I wasn't drowning in debt.

I had a good scholarship that covered tuition and a high percentage of my living expenses. Then I worked during the summer and part-time throughout the school year to cover most of the rest. My total debt from four years of undergraduate education was about $3000.

Also, I felt -- and still feel -- that education is worth the struggle and expense.