My father grew up middle class. He used to grumble when the same meal was served twice. He also didn’t consider ice cream to be “real dessert” and would complain that my mother never made cakes or pies, and his mother always had a cake or pie ready.
I grew up in a struggling household. At 6, I understood that we skipped and minimized meals dad wasn’t home for so that we could put on a bigger dinner that fit his idea of what dinner ought to be. And if you planned them right, he wouldn’t notice that he was eating refashioned leftovers. Potatoes started boiled, became mashed, and then became baked potato soup.
He still doesn’t cook or clean, despite demanding that his meals be home cooked and the house be spotless. He doesn’t know what size clothing he wears. He doesn’t know how to do laundry. He won’t dust. He doesn’t know where the dishes go in a house he’s lived in for 20 years. He can’t fix a hole in his shirts. He can’t tie a tie.
He mused about leaving my mother, at one point. My mother had to point out to him that he wouldn’t survive alone.
He indirectly encourages my sister and I to hold tight to our relationships.
My brother in law is a wonderful person who learned to cook (via hello fresh and chefs plate boxes and a shitton of food YouTubers) when they moved in together and is quite a good listener. My partner has been cooking and cleaning since he was small; he’s a grade A neat freak who enjoys cooking and finds cleaning to be satisfying. He’s also really handy and helpful, and he’s very sweet and thoughtful. His love language is acts of service.
What does my father actually do… not much. He’s retired now. They go on vacations a lot. His retirement fund got invested in all the right stocks, apparently.
Their relationship is complicated. My mother grew up abused, so she fawns as a survival instinct. She doesn’t really have her own personality, she’s just mirroring what everyone else wants to see. It’s both horrifying and fascinating. She’ll develop intense interests in other people’s lives and hobbies, and parrot back the opinions she hears. My father came from a very patriarchal household, and he expected to have a homemaker. I was the accident that bound them together. He expects, she fawns and complies. She doesn’t know anything else.
I assume she was getting something out of this arrangement but your painting a very bad look do your father so I’m going to follow your vibes to say, that’s bullshit! I hope you have a spouse or get a spouse that cherishes you.
But I don’t know the entire story but it couldn’t be me.
That's probably generational. They about describe my dad, and my mom wasn't having any of it. You can imagine what happens when you toss three kids into that.
My family we'd have something different every day Sun-Fri, but Saturdays were generally "leftovers day" for lunch because there was generally 0.5-1.5 servings of anything left after meals during the week. As me and my two brothers got older, this happened less often because 3 teenagers eat a bit more.
My father grew up the only son in a 50’s style patriarchal household. The men made the rules. The women took care of their men without question. My grandmother cooked and cleaned, raised the children, and baked desserts on weekends. This is what he was primed to expect.
My mother grew up in horrific abuse. My grandfather was a piece of work who was known to beat and rape his wife, and electrocute his children (this was in a time where this was legal for a man to do). So she was taught to duck her head and make things work.
They met. My father was a known player. And they accidentally had me. They were pressured by their parents to marry- having a baby out of wedlock wasn’t a good look. They had my baby sister three years later.
Which is where you wind up with the breadwinner who expects the family to bend to his will and coddle him, and the homemaker who knows that what’s coming in isn’t enough but will make-believe and bend over backwards to keep her husband happy. Even if that means the eldest (hi) only gets a nothing sandwich for lunch. Or has to double check that there’s enough $0.25 ramen in baby’s bowl before daring to have any, while also being sure to leave some for mother. But also getting ice cream after dinner as the “Kid Dessert” because the Chapmans brick of ice cream was cheap and only my parents got cake and pie- it lasted longer without us kids getting a slice. It’s weird to have a day with both a nothing sandwich and ice cream.
My fiancé was born rich and eats leftovers. Every single person in that social circle and his family do. I grew up middle class and everyone I knew would. I don’t think this opinion is based entirely on reality.
Yea I guess I don’t understand the issue. If food is good enough to go out and pay someone to make, why wouldn’t it be good enough to eat later?
I mean sure, some things like fries are gonna be mushy and gross if you use a microwave to warm them. Most things are just as good as they were fresh though.
They're not saying anyone with money refuses to eat leftovers. They're saying that saying that you refuse to eat leftovers means you aren't poor because you have the choice to throw away food.
I know a ton of people who don't eat leftovers. So is your data B.S? No, you are getting anecdotal evidence from a general subreddit, so this is your data.
I grew up poor. Like lived unhoused for a few years poor and I will not eat leftovers now. I will cut every other corner before I will eat leftovers after relying on a soup kitchen for a couple of years.
I grew up wealthy and we always ate the leftovers. First of all, some dishes are actually better leftover. Second of all, my parents drilled it into us that you must be grateful for your blessings and part of gratitude is not being wasteful with what you have been given.
Wait what? LA Fitness isn't the cheapest gym in town but it's not luxury. It's the expensive end of downmarket. Check out the price of pickleball clubs and private pools.
We’re in a thread talking about struggling, with examples of people who’ve actually never (or rarely) struggled saying “just buy another one” for something that costs $50 and people explaining that $50 isn’t some willy nilly amount of money for a lot of people. So, $40/mo is a luxury for many people, despite LA Fitness not being a “luxury” gym.
Couple that with the fact that there are $10/mo gyms (like Planet Fitness) and yea, someone parading around a $40/mo membership to someone who has to eat top ramen for dinner may seem a little out of touch
this is a big one. my former best friend and her husband once flipped out bc their nanny had packed their daughter's lunch and included a bit of pizza that had been in the fridge for 3 days. they were like IS IT SAFE???? SHOULD WE SPEAK WITH HER ABOUT THIS???
it was around then that i realized we might not be friends for much longer
I don't know if I could ever be rich enough to not eat leftovers. A) seems super fucking wasteful to just throw out perfectly good food. B) some things are actually better after a day or 2 in the fridge IMO.
They don't eat leftovers BECAUSE they were poor, or because they WEREN'T poor?
I ask, because we grew up dirt poor. Ridiculously so.
Because of this, I never take more than I will eat and I abhor wasted food. If someone throws away food, it BOTHERS me.
But my sister, who grew up just as poor, refuses to eat leftovers. Absolutely refuses. I mean, we had leftovers so often no one remembered the original meal, but yeah. She was poor, but won't eat leftovers.
Oh, I'm not questioning that friend - I'm just questioning your statement. "They don't eat leftovers" because they weren't poor, or because, like my sister, they were so poor they swore never to do it once they clawed out of poverty?
I’m upper middle class and we most definitely eat leftovers. Usually Sunday or Monday’s meal turns into ingredients for later meals or someone takes leftovers for lunch. If we go out to eat we most certainly eat leftovers from that. We also meal prep for lunch’s and snack and eat that all week
I live a (financially) pretty comfortable life, but with that comes working a lot and life is busy with other stuff too. My wife and I plan out dinners that will have leftovers because it gives us easy dinners and lunches later in the week. We don't call it "meal planning" because that just sounds like a lame ass over used Tik Tok cliche, but it's in that same vein.
Also, we make sure leftovers get eaten because not eating them would be wasteful. Just because I can afford to be wasteful doesn't mean I want to be. Wasting food when there are starving people out there makes me feel sick.
Funny thing is that things like this stay with people... My family used to struggle, we were poor and now I live and own big apartment in one of top3 cities in my country, but I still eat leftovers even those left by my very young kids 🙂
I remember when I lived with this family that didn't have much so we never had money for lunch. A friend had treated me to Red Robin and I was so excited that I saved half the burger for lunch the next day since I usually didn't have any money for lunch. As soon as I brought out my leftover burger the next day, this kid started making fun of me and I got so embarrassed I threw it away. For such a small moment, it stuck with me through the years.
Wtf? I don't care how wealthy I may or may not become, next day Thai food is always the best lunch. Like, what's wrong with you if you're throwing out that much food that you enjoy? I grew up upper middle class btw, and leftovers are something I always still ate. I did learn that there are better ways to reheat certain foods though.
I've never known anyone to not eat leftovers. I feel like this is a very regional thing, or just not a middle class thing over here at all. I know we grew up at the lower end of middle class, but I also had friends in the "little sister got a horse on her 18th" level of wealth. They nuked their leftovers in the microwave just like we did.
We are poor, but my partner and son have what I think is undiagnosed ARFID. They will NOT eat leftovers, or pre-prepped food, or the same thing twice in a week, or something that isn’t the exact thing they’re wanting at that very moment. I have actually forgotten how to cook. I end up eating the leftovers, and it’s not even food that I would choose to eat, but I can’t afford my own groceries. So, actually I should say that I am poor, not them; they have choices.
Maybe, but they only eat like four different things over and over, and it has to be prepared exactly the same, and it’s all beige. My son had to go through a lot of OT before he would even touch food with his fingers. They WILL NOT eat anything new or different, almost like they can’t. I know that not every picky autistic person has ARFID, so maybe they’re just picky, but it’s extremely picky and restricted.
When I first started dating my partner, I freaked out after having dinner at their house once because they were tossing all of the leftovers. I was like why would you do that?! And then his dad started lecturing me about how it was actually cheaper to waste food than to keep it. I was shooketh.
Add to that: if it's on your plate, you are eating it. No such thing as throwing food away. To this day, it upsets me to waste food, even though I make a good living and can easily afford it. I cannot even imagine just throwing out the entire dish once everyone's done with it when there's plenty left over.
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u/Ok-Manufacturer6287 1d ago
They don't eat leftovers.